Website Reviews

Full Question: I see that I work with women in 3 distinct categories which I name Maiden/Mother/Crone.
The young women I am helping more with finding right livelihood, navigating initiation into adulthood and mentoring. I’m like an elder/big sister to them.The women of “Mother” age, are trying to find time for themselves while having kids/being a wife, working. They need nourishment, inspiration.The “Crone” women are reviewing their life and looking for deeper sense of Life Purpose and mission. They are trying to become elders in a society that has none for them to look to.How would I express that on the website?

Answer: I think you did it beautifully just there. Nicely done! ? I think you could make a generally empathetic statement about how women move through stages in their life, and each stage requires very specific support that acknowledges where you are in your life. Then you can go into that brief description of each.I think it’s interesting enough that, although it lengthens the home page somewhat, it could be really helpful to see there. Or, the general empathetic statement could go on the home page, mentioning the stages without going into detail, then the deeper Maiden/Mother/Crone distinctions could go on the Is This You page, and the specific ways you help the different stages could go on the How it Works page.Those are some ideas. I don’t think there is any one right way, even though we teach a template. Remember the principles behind the template and the CFS, to not overwhelm anyone at any one point, to not give too much, to not give the information out of order so the reader never has to wonder “Why is she telling me this?”

Full Question: On the one hand, those are the clients with whom I work best, I think, people who, like me, have dominant intellects but who are also very spiritually motivated. But that of course alienates people who are not like that. So I want to find a kind of happy medium, so I’d appreciate feedback about the wording of both elements 2 and 3. (I’ve submitted my problem and am waiting to make revisions on that with the feedback that will come this week.)The standard solutions:
If you’ve been exploring yoga for a while, you’ve probably been doing your very best to deepen your practice.Maybe you’ve gone on retreats, or spent time 1-to-1 with a yoga teacher. You might have set up a home practice space and signed up for a 30-days-of-yoga free challenge or paid program. You may have thought about or even attended a 200- or 300-hour yoga teacher training.Some of these things were likely very satisfying and just what you needed at the time, and still, now, you want more. You want a way to deepen your practice and understanding of yoga’s values, principles and ethics. Most of all, you want to get and stay connected with them as foundations for how you live your everyday lifeWhy they didn’t work:
I see that for many yoga students (and even teachers), the mind-body split gets replicated in the solutions. It’s not on purpose! If you knew how to live integratively, you would! But we tend to do asana and pranayama with the body, and think about values, ethics and principles with the mind. Our culture does not teach or support us to connect to and receive information from all the dimensions of human being in a way that allows that connection to inform us in our day-to-day.From my perspective, the body (anamaya) is experiential ground for our values, ethics and spirituality, as are breath/energy (pranamaya), the mind (manomaya), intellect (vijnanamaya), and love (anandamaya). Having an integrated perspective, based in personal, inner, lived experience as a complement to received wisdom, means we can, day-to-day, embody and live the values, principles and spirituality we hold so dear.

Answer: Your writing feels clear and compelling to me, and easy to read. And fairly concise, for what you are trying to express!Where it goes off is the paragraph “From my perspective…” is actually not part of element 3. You’re getting into element 4, what they really need to do. Put it in it’s proper place, having gone through our teaching about it, and it will work much more easily.

Full Question: Or how to set up an email list when we get to that point in the program? I am clueless about how that all works.

Answer: We don’t handle the technicalities of that. However, we strongly encourage you to sign up with an auto responder service like Aweber or Mailchimp, which seem to be among the most popular with our other clients.
Aweber: http://www.aweber.com
Mailchimp: http://www.mailchimp.com
It does cost a little bit, but not much. Some people resist spending the $20 or $30/month it may cost, but it’s so much better to install it earlier rather than deal with handling all of that yourself.If it feels confusing to you, then when it comes time to work with your website, make sure you get the support of a competent web person/designer. I assure you that it’s really simple, and anyone with any web/tech background can add it to your website in a few minutes without any stress.

Full Question: Will I be linking my sign-up page to them and then they send my newsletter out to my email list?

Answer: Yes, that’s absolutely true. I recommend doing this earlier rather than later, so I’m glad you’ve got it on your agenda. Your sign-up page will send data to your MailChimp account, and then you’ll put your newsletter into your MailChimp account and send it out to your subscribers through them.

Answer: It’s a big question, eh? Kinda like how to eat an elephant- one bite at a time. Or, the tofurkey equivalent. You’ll want to break it up into separate projects, of which there are several. The two immediate ones will be:

• Identifying which pages and writing the copy for those pages (using Heart-Centered Websites in this program.)
• Finding and choosing a web designer, and going through their process of getting the design done.

There will be other, smaller, related projects that come up, your designer will help you with it. And we will, as well.

Full Question: Does your email auto responder prompt you that someone has signed up and you sent them the PDF?

Answer: Thankfully, all of this can be done very easily. What you do is make sure the PDF is uploaded to your server, where your website is stored. Then, when someone subscribes, they automatically receive a follow-up email. In that email you add the link to the PDF, so they can click and download it. It’s all done automatically, without you having to do anything at all.
Whoever is helping you set up your website should introduce you to an FTP application, like Transmit. FTP stands for ‘File Transfer Protocol” and is an application where you can transfer files from your hard drive to your website’s server.

The Full Question: I’m a writer, but writing about me has always been the hardest task.

Answer: Two things about reducing the number of words. First, trust your audience. Often words multiply when we’re concerned that people aren’t going to get what we say. Yet, often they do. It’s all too common for writers to over describe the familiar. Scan through your text and see where you might not be trusting your audience to follow you.Secondly, you may not need to reduce the words a lot. I’m always encouraging people to cut down the number of words, and yet sometimes it just takes what it takes to say what you have to say.

Answer: Partnering is one of the most efficient ways to do writing! Here’s what you do: talk through the assignments with each other. If possible, record them, or have your partner take notes while you’re talking.I’ve seen partners, and I’ve worked with clients, who have talked through an entire draft of their Customer-Focused Story, or most of the Basic 8 pages, in less than an hour, just by answering the questions in a conversational way. Then you can go back and edit afterwards to polish them up.It’s sitting and writing by yourself that can sometimes cause “blank screen syndrome.” Self-doubt can arise that isn’t there when you’re just talking to someone. Enjoy!

The Full Question: However, I have people who are specifically looking for kinesiology and I have clients who don’t know what it is, so I think it’s important that I make the distinction between the two modalities and perhaps have a little info about each specifically. Don’t you? Where would I put that info?

Answer: Yes, it’s true, there are a few clients that look specifically for a particular modality. You can mention your training on your About page.You can also add some paragraphs to the bottom of your How It Works page, explaining those two modalities. I would keep it really brief. If someone knows enough that they are looking for that particular modality, then they don’t need you to explain much. If they aren’t looking for it, then you don’t want to distract them with it.One of the biggest decisions one of our acupuncture clients made was to remove the standard history and explanation of acupuncture from her website and to focus purely on connecting with her clients and what they needed. That kind of focus and attention is what has enabled her practice to go from barely making it, around $30K/year, to over $100,000/year, within 3-4 years.

The Full Question: I did not put it on, because I am following the template and the intention for getting subscribers and giving just 2 options. Do you have thoughts about this for therapists or folks who are offering 1:1 work primarily at this point?

Answer: Yes, sometimes people are looking an immediate connection. You can put something in the sidebar about a free conversation, and it can also be listed on your services page, so if someone is looking to connect with you immediately they can easily, easily find it, but without distracting the flow we’re creating.

The Full Question: I started off with a plan to work this course 2 ways: 1) going through it and refining/changing my current Alchemist Eating program website—a website i created just before starting Foundations2, and 2) writing up copy for a new Alchemist Clinic website, which was to replace the website my partner and i have currently and created a couple years back, upon starting our clinic. The plan was for the overarching Alchemist Clinic site to link to my Alchemist Eating program site as well as my partner’s Alchemist Recovery program site (which he’s creating through this course).This week’s course material made me do some uncomfortable Heart-searching around what, exactly, I should do on both of these fronts. Essentially, it made me question the tidiness of my plans and my current version of well, almost everything. I’m still in the throes of messiness and overwhelm around this—more details on specific questions below. I’m generally not one to embrace messiness—i like things done efficiently, thoroughly and exactly “right.” But our work with HoB prepared me for the messiness and overwhelm of this moment and helped me to embrace and even find joy in it, as part of the growth and change process (at least on good days).The big question that came up for me almost right away—even though I initially tried to ignore and resist it—was: Should we even have an overarching Alchemist Clinic (AC) site? If so, the HCW format doesn’t fit for it. Should it just be a barebones landing page with our clinic contact info, bios and links directing to the Alchemist Eating (AE) and Alchemist Recovery program sites?The big plus for having an overarching AC site is that it offers an expression of “us,” and we are very much an “us” with our business, clinic and interconnected programs. The minuses are that it scatters our focus and energy—and may not be worth the payoff so far as marketing journeys and the objectives of HCWs, as outlined in this course.There’s also the option of leaving the current clinic site up, as is (www.AlchemistClinic.com). Dropping into my Heart, this option feels energetically wrong, off, a burden, a weight, something left dangling and undone.The current site does serve as repository for pages on modalities (allowing me to link to the page on “herbal therapy,” for instance, when I mention it in a blog post on my AE program site). But this does not seem reason enough to keep an entire site running—and we could always add those needed pages to our program sites, even having them “hidden” but knowing we could link to them in the context of blog posts, etc.There’s also the option of closing down the clinic site for now…with the understanding that we’ll reconsider creating a central site once have a new clinic in a new Home on the ground (i.e., when we move to somewhere we want to live geographically and set up shop there). I think this feels best to me, and Randy seems to agree.I feel a real letting go and degree of loss around shutting down our main clinic page and not creating a new one, at least right now. This prospect is painful BUT also brings much relief—more than i would have anticipated. Partly, this relief stems from the fact that I’ve been the one doing all the website stuff thus far for our clinic. And my current program site feels like Home to me…i have an intimate, daily connection with it. The main site does not feel that way…and it feels “out of my control” and “out in space” somehow. We created it before starting any work with HoB, and our entire business has transformed since then. Also, i really want to let go of feeling responsible for my partner’s site and web presence. It’s more than enough for me to handle my own, and then we can of course continue to share and ask for feedback with/from each other on the programs and sites. Trying to insert myself into or take responsibility for “his sphere” within our larger clinic sphere feels like a weight I’d like to let go of…and like something that will help rather than hurt our partnership.Do you have advice on choosing among the various options I mentioned above? Should we just “go for it” with our individual program sites for now and turn off our central clinic page?

Answer: So glad you felt somewhat prepared and ready to embrace and find the joy in the “messiness”… it is an essential step of almost every creative process!I think there is value in having a site for the clinic overall… especially if it represents a physical space where you both show up with your businesses, and there may even be potential for you to share it with other practitioners on an ad-hoc or regular basis… However, I also agree with you both that waiting til the time is right may be the best way to go.Until then, if possible, it would be worth leaving the site live, with a simple link to each of your sites, as you originally described, and contact details, for Search Engine reasons… Basically, the longer a site is live, the more findable it is by search engines, and therefore by clients.This would be a very small job, and would only require you both to submit your individual paragraphs into AC site with linkage to your existing sites. Perhaps this is something you could discuss with your partner… as he is now getting web help for his site, whether this small transition is something that he could manage or outsource for both of you? Or, failing that, how you might share the load of that task, so it doesn’t feel burdensome to you?

The Full Question: What do you think about a more detailed page to explain the modalities I use? Will this be covered elsewhere on another page coming up, like the Offerings?If so, I can completely wait for that section. I have a My Approach page on my website now that goes into more detail, but not sure how many people are actually reading it.

Answer:Hm, that’s an interesting question. Normally, how you approach this depends on whether your modality is something that clients actively seek – e.g., sometimes people google “acupuncture in {my city}” – or not. If it is something your clients will be actively looking for, you may want to sprinkle references to it throughout your website in a conversational way, as well as in a specific list somewhere.
However, if for example, one of your modalities is EFT tapping, and clients rarely come to you actually seeking that, they just come because they want help with their issues, then you might simply mention it on your About page as one of your qualifications.
You can certainly experiment with what works best for your business on this issue. And, you’re asking the right questions by paying attention to what your website visitors are actually reading / i.e. what they are really wanting or needing to know.

The Full Question: I did just buy a new domain name this past week and there is some internal shifting happening and I think that is going to help me get going on this. I also feel a need to settle inside and get to know this new name, and the offerings and intention.Much of it is the same and it is broader, moving away from my own name as the business name. It just doesn’t seem to want to be written yet, it’s incubating in my mind.
I’ve been attending the calls and listened to the Contact page recording.
Would you recommend continuing on with the website material or just catching up with the Article writing now and going back to my website. I’m feeling the article writing and then going back to the website redesign.
I am going to be away at a 5 day workshop and traveling there this week so I will not be able to work on my assignments again. I will listen to the class tho, so I can let it percolate while I am on the road trip. I am trusting the timing and pacing and at the same time feeling a little bummed that I am off the schedule track. I will plan to continue for support after the 6 months ends, so that feels helpful.

Answer: I hear you! There is so much that can get in the way. If you are feeling pulled to learn Article Writing then go for it! Learning from that part of the program will probably make it easier to come back and write website content- some of the learning there will definitely translate back.
Also, I’m glad you’re going to take advantage of the extension program. Sometimes you just need more time, and you are not unusual for wanting it- that’s why the program is there!
Don’t lose heart. Remember that you’re on a 3 year journey, at a minimum, to getting everything in place, tweaking it, iterating it, not to mention learning it. It’s okay if it takes an extra month or two or three. You’re on the path.

The Full Question: I will go to a video before reading lots of words if I want to feel connection. What is your opinion of having a video for the material along with the copy underneath of it?

Answer: Not at all- it’s very easy. Youtube and Vimeo provide ways to grabbing the embed code, and that code can be added to your web page.
What you do want to watch out for, and make sure you control, is what comes up after the video ends. YouTube will offer another video, and not even another video of yours, if you don’t specify that you don’t want that.
Ask your web designer for help.

The Full Question: I am assuming you won’t be going into a lot of detail on actually building the site. What should I be doing in addition to working on the content? Do I explore a website builder like Wix, start looking for a website designer?

Answer: That’s true, it’s outside the scope of this program for us to provide any technical support for building a website. However, it’s fairly easy.
Yes, to both of those. We have some recommendations for website designers who are familiar with our materials. You can find them in the Community, on the Business page, under Recommended Providers.
https://www.heartofbusiness.com/community/business/

The Full Question: I haven’t had a partner for awhile so no one has seen it and I wouldn’t mind an objective opinion.
I don’t have a newsletter sign up page or a product page yet but it will be coming once I get the ball rolling on those things.
My website is www.ameliawholebeing.com.au
Thank you!

Answer: I don’t have space here to give an in-depth website review. If you have a question about an individual page, we’re happy to look at it.Overall I like the layout- it feels good and looks good. The copy reads well at first glance.On the Is This You page, I tried to click the “How I Work” link at the bottom of the page, just above the blue basket, and the link isn’t live.The testimonial formatting could be easier to read- it’s a big block of text- just breaking them up into smaller paragraphs will help make it more accessible.Nice job! And please return if you have any particular questions.

The Full Question: I am just in development phase (not making money yet) and need the website to help build relationships with potential clients, learn, explore, and figure out what I am doing. Could you guide me in what to ask for? Do I need “branding” when I am still figuring out a niche and feeling around etc.? It sounds like something for down the road, but maybe I am not really understanding both what I need at this stage and what is being offered by the designer. Just wondering if there is a piece I am not getting. How do I use the help that she can offer without paying for what is not necessary yet?
Answer: I always recommend starting with a really simple, non-customized website when it’s your first, especially when you aren’t clear what your business will look like in a year.

Let her know that your business identity is still developing, that you don’t know what your business will look like, what it will need, and what you want your business to become yet, so you want just a simple website, with very little customized, except the colors and maybe a touch or two here or there to make it yours.

Keep your budget as low as possible. In a year or so you’ll be wanting to update it and change it, no doubt, and you’ll be glad you kept it simple for the first time through.

The Full Question: With my previous website I was starting to get maybe one a week from people just googling and going to my website. The SEO settings don’t seem to have changed that much. Any suggestions as to what to do?
Answer: Mmm… that’s worrisome. It’s impossible for me to know from here. One thing that might have happened is that you changed the URL to your various internal pages, so the way people were finding you are now broken links.

If your website was uncomplicated before, without too many pages, you may want to have each of those pages still be “live” but as a redirect to another live page, the closes appropriate page, so you don’t lose that previous SEO.

The Full Question: Is this a template question?
Answer: Yes, it is a template and navigation question. The Heart of Business website literally has hundreds of pages, but so you don’t want all of your pages listed in your top-level navigation. Some of them will be in drop-down menus, and some won’t be directly accessible through the navigation menu, but will be available through, for instance, a Products & Services page.

For clarity, a drop-down menu is when you place your cursor over a section of the navigation bar, and several other items “drop down.” You can see this in our Community pages.

The Full Question: However, I’m worried about it being messy. I don’t want to pay too much and I could even trade for it, but how do I start the process of knowing the person is professional, has a good eye, would do solid work?
Answer: Yay for wanting to hire locally! If this is your first website, or a version of your website when your business is still evolving, then yes, don’t spend too much. Don’t get too attached, however, to doing trade. Although trading/bartering is possible, remember that web designers need to pay rent and buy food, too, just as you hope clients to hire you.

When you go to hire a designer a few things:
– What other websites have they done? Do you like those other websites? Although designers have usually some variety in their work, they usually have a “style” and your website probably won’t be radically different from others they’ve produced.
– What do other people say about them? Contact people who have had their website done by the person and ask them about their experience.
– Will the designer work with customizing templates and getting basics set-up inexpensively? A lot of designers will offer a “getting started” package where you can use a pre-set template, and change up colors and images and navigation, but not a lot of customization in the look and feel, which keeps development costs down and can make it all happen quickly.

If you can’t find someone you like in your local community, there are people within the Heart of Business Community whom we like to refer to.

The Full Question: Not sure how to word it. I’m sure it’s simpler than I am making it.
Answer: You’ll want something a bit more compelling than “subscribe to read more.” Rather, something like, “If you’re ready to get some help, start with subscribing so I can send you insights and help every x weeks.”

Invite them to subscribe before pointing to the How It Works page. It’s “subscribe, or if you’re not ready to subscribe, read the how it works page.” Not in that language, but that sequence.

And yes, you want them to subscribe. Remember the 3 Journeys of Marketing, and how you want to be able to deepen the relationship with them. If you send them to read the blog they may read, click away eventually, and then forget your website and not find their way back to you. But if they are subscribed, you’ll email them, and they won’t lose their way back to you.

The Full Question: When I was working in non-profits, it was drilled into me that having an option to donate needed to be super easy to find on the home page. Part of my work gets support by donations. Any reason in this approach to websites not to have a clear link on my navigation menu to donate? I probably should ask this on an action call but just in case I miss it, I’m submitting it here.
Answer: I think that’s fine. The main difference between not-for-profits and for-profit businesses, is that when someone buys something from a business, they need to know what they are buying, and so having a direct link to “buy” on the page doesn’t make sense… what are they buying?

However, donations are clear and non-transactional. Also, presumably, if someone does donate you also capture their email and add them to your email newsletter and/or other contact lists, so you don’t lose them.

I’m assuming that a donate button doesn’t just go to a shopping cart, but instead goes to a page, perhaps similar to the Sign Up page, describing why donate and how much to donate and etc.?

The Full Question: Placement seems natural to me at the bottom of the page, as a call to action…but I’m wondering whether this is too “hidden”? Wording seem alright?Find it here (bottom of the page):

P&S page: http://alchemisteating.com/products-and-services/

First landing page: http://alchemisteating.com/eating-for-health-eating-for-you/

Book a session (sort of our “clinic exists” page): http://alchemisteating.com/book-a-session/

Also added it to the other landing pages—but wasn’t sure about this, seeing as the first package is a prerequisite for these other packages….just wanted to reinforce that a free consult is available.

Did NOT put in on the How We Work page, because I already had calls to action there—should I switch one of these calls to action out for the phone-consult promo?: http://alchemisteating.com/how-we-work/

Also did NOT put it on the homepage, for the same reason as above. But maybe I should put it here, at the bottom? Anywhere else I’m missing? Thank you!

Answer: My recommendation is to keep the Basic 8 focused on the subscriber. When someone subscribers, you can always include in the automatic follow-up email the free consult offer. That would be the most effective way to do it.

As far as your P&S page, I think it really depends on your intentions and your strategy. If you are wanting the most people possible to come in for a free consult, then I would put it at the top that page. If you are only wanting qualified leads, who have already looked at your other offers, to come in, then leave it at the bottom.

I would be tempted, myself, knowing your intentions, to put it at the top, and ask people who schedule, to make sure they have read through the P&S page so they know the options available. That can be a good compromise. 🙂

The Full Question: Should I hire someone to help me this or not worry about it? Are there resources you can point me towards for using google analytics data?
Answer: Keep collecting it. Don’t worry about it for right now. Analytics can be helpful when you are bringing a large amount of cold traffic to your site, people who don’t know you. For the moment, you’ll be bringing referrals, and organic, warmer traffic. Just keep collecting the data, and when your business is robust enough, you can hire someone to consult with and give you some help to read through it.

The Full Question: How do I get to the first few pages in a google search? Is it just a matter of time? I want my website to appear if people type in “Acupuncture Philadelphia.” I have no idea how to do SEO but my website service, Wix, recommends I put the words “acupuncture philadelphia” a certain number of times on particular pages. It feels spammy to me. Do you have advice about how to handle SEO?
Answer: It can be really helpful to include that kind of language on your site. If you want in-person clients, then for sure mention it. There are very organic ways to do it on your different pages, so do it as naturally as possible.

And don’t misuse the word “spam” here. 🙂 Spam is when something is sent out that isn’t wanted. You’re just trying to get your site seen.

Everything I’ve heard about SEO is that you should just use natural, organic language, while paying attention to the words people might be searching for, without being weird about it. I bet you could naturally include “Philadelphia” and “acupuncture” at least once on each page, and just see what that does.

The Full Question: I really have no clue, and am just happy about the jump in both. Also, just as big of deal to me is that all the big and little fish in the paleo-primal internet world read MDA, so I got valuable exposure and won’t necessarily be a total unknown when I approach others to guest blog, etc.
Answer: I think that’s a fantastic start, and you’re converting at about 3%. I’ve heard from someone that a very high converting page could be as high as 40%, and realistically I think you could aim for 10%.

And… it’s hard to know, because who is visiting? How many of them are qualified, meaning genuinely interested? Since they came off your article, you would hope a decent percentage, and it’s somewhat unknown.

For now, I would let yourself celebrate. And looking at optimizing your page for conversion would be a good project to take on as you move forward.

Answer: I recommend working through Heart-Centered Websites section of this program first. You can, if you like, start to find a web designer you might like, but the whole process will go much faster once you have a clear idea of what goes on the website, and some of our thoughts about design and strategy.

The Full Question: …and wonder if it would make more sense to find someone in our community that would help me start a blog (my understanding is that a blog is a much less expensive way to get started) and help me with the technical things that I do not know about connected to having a blog. What are your thoughts?
Answer: Something you should understand is that a blog IS a website, just perhaps a very single-minded website. And any website created on WordPress is created much like a blog is.

You might be surprised if you haven’t researched it, it might be less expensive than you think to get a website started, especially a very simple one built off of a template, which is what we recommend anyway, rather than anything custom.

If you find it’s still out of your reach, I’m curious the difference in price in paying someone to help you get a blog setup versus a simple website with a blog. I’d be curious to know if there’s a huge difference in price there or not.

Answer: One person we like a lot is Casper Blackwell- a lot of our clients have worked with him with great success, and he’s very familiar with Heart-Centered Websites. His website is:http://websitesforhippies.com

For others, I recommend going into our Facebook and asking who else have people used.

The Full Question: I have a mailing list, made up of past and current clients. It seems like I could have two mailing lists, one for the people I’ve already worked with, who know quite a bit about how I work and what I do, and another one for the people I haven’t worked with yet. I’m not too sure how to reconcile these two groups, or if I need to.
Answer: I can understand your desire, and, it’s true, there are different audiences in there. At the same time, it’s too much work. And, there are real reasons to NOT create two mailing lists.

What is often done, depending on the email list application you are using, is to tag those more experience clients separates so you can, when needed, email them separately. In general, however, you wan to send your newsletter to everyone, and to write what you have to say to speak to folks on your list, whether or not they’ve worked with you.

The Full Question: I go back and forth between highlighting the “click here” to go look at xyz vs. “go look at XYZ” with xyz highlighted.
Answer: Either is fine. Not something to get hung up on. If you were dealing with extremely large volumes of people (1000s or 10,000s or more) you could do very find analysis over whether one had some slight conversion advantage over the other. But for the kinds of relationships you will be having with people, it doesn’t really matter.

The Full Question: Are images necessary? I have my picture up in a couple places. Previous sites I’ve used images of balanced rocks, someone stretching up in front of a giant oak, a flower blossoming – these are all good metaphors for health and wellness. I work a lot with these metaphors between health and nature in my work and in my blog posts/articles/newsletters.
What kinds of images do you think help and what kinds distract?
Answer: Yes! It’s a good idea to have images because they make it easier on the eye, and break up the text. They’re not strictly necessary, but definitely recommended. You are on the right track, using images that allude to metaphors which relate to the content of your text. Next level – consider the colour scheme of your website and where possible uses images where the colours in the image blend reasonably well with the colours in the website, blog or newsletter itself.

The Full Question: Do you have some ideas of where I could get these more specific kinds of illustrations?
Answer: I don’t, unfortunately. You can look in stock image sites, they may well have them. Things like istockphoto or dreamstime, and I’m sure there are others.

The good news, is that I’m guessing there are a limited number of illustrations you would need, and so they could be used over and over again. Or you could get a larger, more detailed image of the human body in various positions, and then, through judicial use of an inexpensive image editing tool, you could zoom in and use a section of the image for what you’re trying to illustrate, thus getting several images out of just one image.

Full Question: I’m not sure how to incorporate all the aspects of my business into the home page. I am a counselor as well as a minister. In addition to the counseling – helping people reconnect to their hearts – I officiate weddings. I want to promote the counseling as well as the ceremony components of my work.

Answer: I know it’s sometimes hard to see things from the inside. From my point of view, they fit perfectly. If you are working to help people reconnect with their hearts, then officiating weddings is such an amazing ceremony for connecting hearts.I think you can just drop a sentence in that says something like, “I love connecting people to their own hearts, and to each other. The ultimate joy is when I officiate a wedding, as I’ve done many, many times!”
That let’s people know you do that, and then later, when you craft your Services page, you can include officiating weddings as one of your offerings.

Full Question: I ended up writing my home page draft following your example, rather than the template. Is that okay?You hurt. Or you feel uncomfortable tension, strain and stress in your body that won’t go away. You’ve probably consulted with doctors, tried different kinds of therapies or treatments, followed exercise programs; all of these may have helped some, but the bottom line is still the same: you still hurt, you are still uncomfortable in your body.
You’re frustrated. You can’t do what you love to do—or what you need to do—without pain or limitations. Perhaps even your work or your job is at stake.
On top of that, you sometimes feel a lack of understanding or empathy from friends, family, coworkers.
You are in a vicious cycle of pain and tension, fatigue, inability to engage in health-giving movement—and more pain. You feel stuck.It doesn’t have to be that way.The truth is that all human beings are born with innate body wisdom. Every healthy baby teaches him- or herself how to crawl and walk effortlessly, in alignment with natural laws. The body itself is the true healer, when given the right conditions required by Nature. It is never too late to reconnect with that innate, natural body wisdom and rediscover the freedom, ease and joy of movement that you had as a small child.Hello, I’m Deborah Kornblau, M.AmSAT. Since 2005 I’ve helped many people learn how to re-connect with their natural birthright of inner body wisdom, and experience relief from chronic pain and strain.
The way I help people is through a method known as the Alexander Technique. I have worked with a wide variety of active and creative adults including artists, teachers, doctors and dentists, musicians, dancers, actors, scientists, students, businessmen, computer programmers, new mothers, housewives, psychologists, holistic health care practitioners, and active retirees.
If you want to return to the activities you love and need for your life with renewed vitality, less pain and tension, and more enjoyment—I can offer you compassionate guidance and support.If you resonate with this and would like to know more about my approach, I invite you to sign up and receive my free article on [XYZ – not yet written]. When you do that, you will automatically be subscribed to my blog and receive additional articles on related topics every month.
(Be assured that I will never share your information with anyone; and you can choose to easily unsubscribe at any time.)
Click here to receive your free article:You may be wondering, can this approach really help your specific problem? Everyone’s body, health history, and life experience is different, individual and unique. Click here to come and see whether this would work for you:

Answer: I think this is a fine home page. Although I caution against people mentioning what they do on the home page, it’s mainly to avoid going deeply into explaining process. You mention it briefly, and without getting lost in process, so that works for me.

Full Question: As I clarify my home page, I start to feel like I am really leaving out some of my clients.
Yes, busy, inspired women are my ideal client and who I jive with the best, but what about the few men in my practice? Will they stop coming when they see my website. What about the women coming who just want help with physical pain, or who are sick.Will I need to write entire new websites for these people? Or is this just an invitation for my practice to become full of my best people.

Answer: It’s a great question. Two things. For men and women, I find that just using certain language filters for gender. If you don’t want to exclude men, I bet you can use the exact same language, and just leave out the word “women.” For Heart of Business, we welcome people of any gender, and yet we find that the vast majority of our clients are women. It’s worth experimenting with.As for the question about women who just want help with physical pain or who are sick, what about them? This is an invitation to get really clear. Do you really enjoy working with them? If so, you can incorporate them by mentioning illness and pain as something that may be struggled with. But not isolating those complaints from the rest of what you’re writing. So hopefully even the women who are sick and in pain are still within the psychographics of your ideal clients. Make sense?

Full Question: I am in the beginning stages of formulating my business, and of course want to utilize my time and efforts well.My intention is to provides services such as Color Consultations, Wardrobe Reviews, and Personal Shopping along with jewelry and mosaic sculpture, all under the name, “Adornmeant” which is a focus on individual beauty and beauty for the home. He said I should focus on one thing, such as just the sculpture. That I should have a very specific niche. He is a small business owner of 8 years, and I respect his opinion. I am confused and discouraged and don’t know what to do. I mentioned this to Steve in an email, and he suggested that I include my dilemma in this section, and to bring it up on the coaching call this week. I hope to get clear and confident about what I am doing!

Answer: I hear you, and I hear your fiancé. On one hand, I agree entirely that you should be focused on one thing. What I disagree with is whether the modality of what you do is the focus. Here at Heart of Business we define a business not by what you do, but by who you serve and what you help them with.
If you do a number of different things, yes, you will be far more effective if you focus in on one audience and one problem, rather than chasing everyone. Does that make sense? It may be something to bring to a coaching call to get more clarity, if needed.

The Full Question: Home page draft:
Are you stiff and sore and worried it will always be like this?It’s like you reached a certain age and -POOF- you can’t just do whatever you want and feel great. Aches and pains are cropping up more than you’d like to admit and you realize you need to take better care of yourself.But how will you find the time? You already have so many responsibilities and pain makes everything harder. You’re scared if you don’t do something soon, you’ll get stuck in this cycle of enduring life instead of enjoying it.You just want to feel like you and your body are allies again. That you’re fresh, inspired, and full of energy.Listen, you may not be able to turn back the clock, but you can absolutely have greater ease and comfort with your body and more zest for life. I’ve seen this time and time again with my clients.Wanna get started? Great! Sign up here to receive twice-monthly articles on how to reconnect to your body and relax your mind.Not sure if this is right for you? Click here to find out who most benefits from what I do.

Answer: Yes, it does seem strange, doesn’t it? Some of it depends on what else the website looks like. If your header, for instance, or sidebar, mention yoga and massage, then you don’t have to mention it in the home page copy.If you wanted to, you could add it to this sentence: “I’ve seen this time and time again with my clients, through massage and yoga.”

Answer: A great point. That’s something that could easily be added to the sidebar of the website, if you have one. “Ready to book a session?” or “Want to schedule a massage right now?”If you’re going to add it to your home page copy, I would put it in a box off to the right, that says something like, “Ready to book a massage?”

The Full Question: Home Page Draft:
Are you a spiritually-oriented changemaker or healer who still struggles with loneliness, fatigue and periodic fears and self-doubts?You may be accomplished and have a drive to make a difference, but what other may not see about you is that you still have personal work to do. You’re the healer, teacher, leader who has to work on her own challenges and her own periodic doubts and fears in isolation.Because you tend to always be serving others, maybe you don’t allow a lot of people to see your own vulnerable places. You feel you need to keep it together because of all your responsibilities. You’re not sure where to go for soul-level dialogue and healing practices.In a world that keeps on getting more challenging, you want deeper, more accelerated tools for moving past old wounds that keep showing up.
And, you long for deep and intimate dialogue with others who are looking for new ways to step into their potential and lead in these potent times.If you want to move past old fears and self-doubts and truly live and lead from a joyous heart in spite of todays’ challenges, you’re in the right place.You can lift the veils that you’ve developed from old wounds and experience your heart taking flight— and gain a soul-based community as well.How do you begin? Well, first sign up for my newsletter and receive a free “Flying Lesson” for your life. And, subscribe to my blog for weekly articles that will inspire and give you heart-based practices for healing and transformation.And, you may be wondering, can the “Through a Different Lens” approach really help? Click here to find out whether it’s a great fit for you.

Answer: Great job with the home page draft! There’s a lot that works here. A couple of things.1. “period fears and self-doubts.” I know you don’t want to portray your best client as a hot mess, and yet I would bring out some more clear pain points- and not just what the pain points are, but how they are affecting them. So “Periodic fears and self-doubts that leave you paralyzed at times.” Or something even more specific- how does the loneliness and fear and self-doubt impact them?2. You refer to “deeper, more accelerated tools”- don’t do that, because it refers to what you are offering. Instead, you can say, “You feel like you’ve made progress in the past, but not recently. You want to go deeper, more quickly, because little incremental steps aren’t really working anymore.” Or something like that.Referring to the problem, but not the solution.3. I’m still not 100% sure on the market- is it relatively new or only moderately experienced healers who still doubt their skills and abilities to work with people? That’s what I get from reading what you write.There’s a lot of good here, and make sure you add the tweaks I’m mentioning here.

The Full Question: Are you experiencing overwhelm and wish you had some relief?You’ve run into those days before … you are just cruising along in life, minding your own business, getting things done and then slowly, without warning things start to get a little busier than you had anticipated. You may have said “yes” to one too many things, or your schedule gets interrupted from its flow by something you didn’t expect. All of a sudden, you are behind on what you have promised to deliver, you have so many commitments scheduled you can’t decide where to start. You feel overwhelmed, out of control and unable to move forward.
Mark’s comments: It’s a strong paragraph describing a real situation. The only difficulty I have is your use of “…things start to get a little busier than you had anticipated.” The “little” doesn’t mesh with the overwhelm you describe later in the paragraph. Mark sure you are matching, and not minimizing, the reality.
Page continues: If you experience overwhelm and would love to understand how to move from that place of feeling out of control and into a place where you can breathe and feel relief, then don’t go anywhere.
Mark’s comments: Careful with imperatives like “don’t go anywhere.” That can feel controlling, unless you have already established a light-hearted, fun bantering tone, or similar, previously in your copy. Otherwise it can bring up resistance. Instead, try something like, “then I hope you’ll stick around.”
Page continues: You have the ability to bring yourself back from the spiral of overwhelm. All you need is a bit of information and the desire to regain control. It is more than possible.
What do you need to do? You begin with downloading our free 5 Ways to Shift from Overwhelm to Relief Guidebook.
Mark’s comments: Again, careful with the imperative. “What do you need to do?” Instead why not be a little softer, “Begin with my 5 Ways to Shift from Overwhelm to Relief.”
Page continues: Click here to get the 5 Ways to Shift from Overwhelm to Relief Guidebook.
If you are wondering if this will really help you get what you want, click here to find out!!
Mark’s comments: In general a strong page, aside from my comments above. Great work!

The Full Question: I’m wondering about the flow from the headline to the first paragraph. Feels a little jarring or something … may just be me feeling a little odd telling them who they are … you this, you that. And, the other place I feel abrupt flow is from “I know the way out of those stuck places” and “Wondering how to get started?” Thank you!!Home page draft:
Have you been struggling with strong and unpredictable emotions or feeling a loss of creativity and connection in your life?You are a soulful person, who approaches life naturally and holistically. You really want to feel alive and joyful, connected with yourself and others, creative and self expressed.Yet, you are tired and frustrated, lacking energy, and you may even be experiencing health problems, anxiety, or depression. It may feel like your body is betraying you and you don’t understand why you can’t just talk yourself out of it.Or, perhaps you are afraid of putting yourself out in the world – in relationships and work – and you feel alone and isolated as a result. Frustrated and stuck, not knowing how to take the steps to create the love and work you desire.So many people really do their best trying to help themselves when they are struggling with overwhelming emotions, physical health challenges, disconnection in relationships, and a lack of meaningful work. I’m sure that you are no different.It is possible to become free from those ‘stuck’ places in life, to heal naturally and gradually, with support, guidance, and inner wisdom.I know the way out of those stuck places.Wondering how to get started?I’d love to welcome you into my community. You can join me right here by subscribing to my newsletter.If you are still be considering whether my approach is really right for you, you can read more right here.

Answer: Yes, it can feel awkward with these kinds of statements. I think your home page is fine, with clarity and strength in it. What you can do is add some “perhaps” “maybe” language, like you did before the health problems. You can start out, “If you’re a soulful person, then…” which allows the person to identify him or herself.You can take out the “I know the way out of those stuck places,” since you essentially said exactly that in the sentence above. When you wrote “It is possible to become free…” you implicitly said that you know the way out, so there’s no reason to put it there explicitly.Well done!

The Full Question: Which one of these two is the better headline?1. Are you struggling with addiction… and want to break the cycle to create changes that are going to last?2. We help people that are struggling with addiction…. who want to break the cycle and create changes that are going to last.Are you struggling with addiction… and want to break the cycle to create changes that are going to last?We help people that are struggling with addiction…. who want to break the cycle and create changes that are going to last.Do you sometimes feel like you’re trapped in a cycle that just keeps repeating itself over and over again?Is what started as a simple habit now interfering with, and possibly even controlling, other areas of your life?Is the time and energy you spend on planning, doing and covering up your behaviors taking a toll and becoming exhausting?Are the consequences piling up and there still doesn’t seem to be any relief in sight?We know how it is:
You’re tired of the hiding, lying and fighting and just want it to stop
You want to feel connected again-with your family, work and life
You want to regain the respect and reignite the love that used to be there
For over 2 decades, we’ve helped thousands of people, just like you, break the cycle of addiction and create the lasting changes that you’re looking for.There is hope – you can get your life back – and maybe even better than it ever was.To receive your free copy of : Why most modern approaches to addiction treatment fail
or
The 3 Principles you need to overcome addiction
and receive our bi-monthly newsletter, click here
(question: which is better for the freebie: the “negative” why most approaches fail or the “positive” the 3 Principles you need?)To find out more and see if Alchemist Recovery is right for you, click here: “Is this You? link”

Answer:
Number 1 – The question format – is a more compelling headline. However, if you follow it immediately with more questions, it gets to sounding like an interrogation. So, I would recommend going with number 1, but then adjusting your next paragraph, like this:Are you struggling with addiction… and want to break the cycle to create changes that are going to last?Perhaps started as a simple habit is now interfering with, and possibly even controlling, other areas of your life.
So now you feel like you’re trapped in a cycle that just keeps repeating itself over and over again…You know something needs to change, because the time and energy you spend on planning, doing and covering up your behaviors is taking a toll. It’s becoming exhausting.
And as the consequences keep piling up, there still doesn’t seem to be any relief in sight?We know how it is:
You’re tired of the hiding, lying and fighting and just want it to stop
You want to feel connected again-with your family, work and life
You want to regain the respect and reignite the love that used to be there
For over 2 decades, we’ve helped thousands of people, just like you, break the cycle of addiction and create the lasting changes that you’re looking for.There is hope – you can get your life back – and maybe even better than it ever was….

The Full Question: On my Alchemist Eating site, this is what I currently have for my homepage (http://alchemisteating.com/). Questions are in brackets:Do you struggle with weight, diet or digestion…and want a holistic, functional approach to looking and feeling better?[Is the headline (basically my OCS) okay? Too much to insert holistic, functional here? One reason I keep them is within paleo-primal circles, people are desperate for a functional medicine doctor, specifically—it is language that my clients know and look for. Would one of these be better: Are weight and diet a struggle for you? / Are food and eating a place of struggle and pain for you? / Are you struggling to change your relationship with food and eating?]
Comment: Yes, this is fine. Your original version works well. Of the alternative versions, I have a slight preference for “Are food and eating a place of struggle and pain for you? ” (see previous question) because I am guessing that a lot of people can relate to it…Any of those versions you have suggested work, and if you know what your people are looking for, then using their language works great.Are food and eating a place of struggle and pain for you?
Draft continues: Maybe you’re having trouble keeping weight off or are struggling with an eating addiction or eating disorder.Perhaps you’ve gotten some “bad news” with your routine blood work…or have been diagnosed with a frightening autoimmune condition.Maybe you’re struggling with leaky gut, IBS, Celiac’s disease, non-Celiac gluten sensitivity or another digestive disorder…or with other disorders that seem unrelated, such as allergies, acne or achy joints.Perhaps, you “just” want to eat healthy…or change your patterns around food and eating—but don’t know how.You’ve tried lots of things…and sometimes gotten results—for a little while.But nothing seems to stick. And everything feels like a struggle. It’s as though you’re fighting yourself to get your body where you want it to be.You long to look and feel better—and sense there must be a better way.[Is my empathy too scattered/not focused enough on one type of ideal client? This goes back to my OCS question above. Add something about relationship to food/ eating disorder/addiction after “where you want it to be.”]
Comment: For your home page, if you kept it simple just covering these three bases, how would that feel for you?:Maybe you’re having trouble keeping weight off… (or keeping it on?)You might be struggling with an eating addiction or eating disorder. Or perhaps, you “just” want to eat healthy…or change your patterns around food and eating—but don’t know how.
Draft continues: Good news is, the answer is Yes. There is a better way, and you are in the right place.Alchemist Eating leverages the alchemy of holistic, functional medicine and primal-paleo eating principles to help people just like you. We have helped hundreds of people struggling with weight, diet and digestion problems.[Are the above paragraphs okay? I know I added a bit of extra here. Too much jargon? Again, there’s the issue of people in paleo-primal circles specifically seeking a functional, primal doctor, which sets me apart for them.]
Comment: This is fine. Just rephrase “the answer is Yes”, because there wasn’t a question in the preceding paragraph.
Draft continues: To get started, sign up for our newsletter. With subscription, you’ll get our Free Guide to Overcoming Sugar Addiction delivered to your inbox.
You’ll also receive weekly newsletters on food and eating (along with a sense of “what we’re about”).
To subscribe and get our Free Guide, enter your email in the box at the side, top or bottom of this page.
[Okay that I don’t have a direct link for a subscription sign-up page? This isn’t something I can fix right away, but next time we contract our web person I could see about it. Okay that the free guide I offer with newsletter subscription is only relevant to some and not all of my ideal clients?]
Comment:
Yes, okay that there’s no direct link now, and you can fix it later. For now, you could just choose one of the locations, e.g. “at the side of this page”.
(Alternatively, you may be able to create a sign up page yourself, which you then hide from the menu, and hyperlink to from this page? If that’s outside your web tech skills, don’t worry about it. But I am mentioning it in case it’s an easy workaround for you without hiring help.)
Yes, I think it’s okay that the free guide is only relevant to some clients. It’s actually something that nearly everyone might benefit from. You might consider renaming it to something like, “Sugar – the hidden addiction, and how to overcome it” ?? Would a small tweak along these lines make it more relevant to more of your clients?
I think you can skip this comment “(along with a sense of “what we’re about”). So you might just say:
To get started, sign up for our free weekly newsletter where we share helpful approaches to food and eating.
With subscription, you’ll get our Free Guide to Overcoming Sugar Addiction delivered to your inbox.
Draft continues:
Wondering whether Alchemist Eating can really help? Click here to find out who most benefits from our approach.
Oh, and don’t forget to browse our blog posts!
SUNDAY COOK-UPS
WHAT ABOUT?
EATING FOR HEALTH
MEDICINE & MUSINGS
[Okay to add this extra bit here—I know you said not to but…]
Comment:
It’s better not to because you have already asked them to do one thing – sign up. Then you’ve asked them to do a second thing, visit Is This You. You are now asking a third. You just need to decide which path you most want them to follow.
You could send them to your blog instead of Is This You, but this would only make sense if your blog posts all linked back to your services with some effectiveness…
A better approach might be to include links to these “favourite blog posts” in the confirmation email / webpage for your newsletter signup… “Thanks for subscribing! We’re looking forward to sending you helpful approaches to food and eating. Meanwhile, you might want to browse some of our most popular blog posts on the subject : LINK, LINK, LINK.
Question continues:
One last question: I am 40 but look younger than that. He says people searching for a doctor and making a split-second decision upon landing on my site will immediately think I just got out of school and head elsewhere. Should I highlight my age right away, under my photo on the homepage? Particularly since I’m trying (unsuccessfully) to expand into more long-distance consults (currently, my patients all know me in person). Seems weird to me, but not sure what else to do around this issue.
Comment:
Instead of saying your age, you could highlight “two decades of experience”.
You can also keep this in mind next time you take professional photographs, and work with the photographer to create a feeling that still has the warmth that you currently have, but creates a feeling of maturity. Deeper colours in the background, or a classic / renaissance kind of painting… heavy wood furniture… a “still” presence… and the camera angling slightly up towards you, rather than slightly down, will all help… You and your partner could even experiment with taking these photos yourself if you do not have professional photos anywhere on the current horizon.

The Full Question: Made significant changes based on last week’s Q&A. The bottom still has the blogs listed…wrestling with whether to remove it still—sorry! Here’s the url: http://alchemisteating.com/Are food and eating a place of struggle or pain for you?Maybe you’re having trouble keeping weight off (or keeping it on).
You might be struggling with an eating addiction or eating disorder.
Perhaps you “just” want to eat healthy…or change your patterns around food and eating—but don’t know how.
You’ve tried lots of things…and sometimes gotten results—for a little while.
But nothing seems to stick. And everything feels like a struggle. It’s as though you’re fighting yourself to get your body where you want it to be.
You long to look and feel better—and sense there must be a better way.
Good news is, there is a better way. And you are in the right place.
Alchemist Eating leverages the alchemy of holistic, functional medicine and primal-paleo eating principles to help people just like you. We have helped hundreds of people struggling with weight, diet and digestion problems.
To get started, sign up for our weekly newsletter, where we share helpful approaches to food and eating. You’ll also get our Free Guide to Overcoming Sugar Addiction.
To subscribe and get your Free Guide, go here.
Don’t worry—we hate junk mail too and won’t overcrowd your inbox or share your email address. And you can of course unsubscribe at any time.
Wondering whether Alchemist Eating can really help? Click here to find out who most benefits from our approach.
On the blog…
SUNDAY COOK-UPS
WHAT ABOUT?
EATING FOR HEALTH
MEDICINE & MUSINGS

Answer: Your home page reads well and strongly. I get why you want to leave the blogs, and what I’m wanting, if you do decide to leave the blog links, is something that makes the call to action to subscribe stronger and pop- otherwise the blog links are what stand out visually. It’s easy to slide over the invitation to subscribe and go right to the pretty pictures and blog links.
Remember- you want people to subscribe so you can have an ongoing relationship with them! Make it REALLY visible and obvious as a next step. Don’t distract them with eye-candy away from it.
You know that changing eating habits requires support, so it’s in their interest, too, if they resonate with you, to really start to build an ongoing relationship.

The Full Question: Draft of the Home page:
Have you been struggling with strong and unpredictable emotions or feeling a loss of creativity and connection in your life?Perhaps you are a soulful person, who approaches life naturally and holistically. You really want to feel alive and joyful, connected with yourself and others, creative and self expressed.Yet, maybe you are tired and frustrated, lacking energy. You may even be experiencing health problems, anxiety, or depression. It may feel like your body is betraying you and you don’t understand why you can’t just talk yourself out of it.Or, perhaps you are afraid of putting yourself out in the world – in relationships and work – and you feel alone and isolated as a result. Frustrated and stuck, not knowing how to take the steps to create the love and work you desire.So many people really do their best trying to help themselves when they are struggling with overwhelming emotions, physical health challenges, disconnection in relationships, and a lack of meaningful work. I’m sure that you are no different.It is possible to become free from those ‘stuck’ places in life, to heal naturally and gradually, with support, guidance, and inner wisdom.Wondering how to get started?I’d love to welcome you into my community. You can join me right here by subscribing to my newsletter.If you are still considering whether my approach is really right for you, you can read more right here.Answer:
I haven’t seen the previous version or know what they recommended, so I’ll just start from scratch with what you wrote, which is sometimes the best approach here, so it’s fresh!Overall, I like the draft, right up through the “tired and frustrated” paragraph. The next paragraph throws me a bit, simply because it seems like a change of topic. “putting myself out in the world”? I’m not sure how that relates to the first.You are trying to do, it seems, a “catch-all” healing practice. Although this kind of generalist work has a place, it can be a bit more challenging to come up with compelling language. Your language around “put yourself out in the world” is where I found a disconnect. Yet in the next paragraph, you mention “disconnection in relationships.” I’d rather see you emphasize that sense of disconnection, which seems more in continuity with the stuckness int he previous paragraph.“It may also be showing up in your relationships, as a lack of energy, stuckness or disconnection, and you may feel like hiding, even though that’s not what you really want.” That helps to connect the two paragraphs.How does that land?

The Full Question: Maybe I’m tapping into how uncomfortable it is to feel frozen and dull and how hard it is to name. It’s really hard for me not to lead with something more positive. What is your reaction to “Are you ending too many days feeling frozen, knocked down and dull?”Home page rough draft:
Are you ending too many days feeling frozen, knocked down and dull?Things are going well enough in your life, at least until you have a quiet moment and realize how drained you feel. The stresses of life, pressures from many directions, or illnesses are knocking you down and it’s all you can do to plod through it. Waking up tired, straining through the day, you can feel like your spirit is a glacier slowly moving through life.You may have even lost track of where you are going. You might fear an avalanche of problems if you make too many changes.You know that there has got to be more to life. You want to start each day feeling healthy, creative, and joyful. You want to end each day feeling like it all mattered.I love helping people get back the spark in their life. I have helped many people and it is always possible, no matter your situation and no matter how much you doubt that it’s possible.You can begin right now by signing up to receive some encouragement in your inbox. This is the best way to learn about classes, retreats and other opportunities for healing and celebration.You may be wondering if my approach will really help you. Click here to find out who really benefits from my approach.
Answer: You can balance the feeling of the headline, by making a subhead out of, or simply bolding, this:“You know that there has got to be more to life. You want to start each day feeling healthy, creative, and joyful. You want to end each day feeling like it all mattered. “That might bring you the balance you want. Do your people feel what you describe in the headline? If that’s true, then stick with it. See how people react. You may need to tweak it over time, but the essential message is probably correct, if you know your clients well.

The Full Question: That’s always been my style, but I was convinced a few years ago to adopt a WordPress theme with a more flashy homepage with a slideshow and a lot going on. It’s always seemed too “busy” for my personal taste, but I also worry that a staid and simple homepage won’t compete in the dizzying virtual space that people navigate daily. Also, the “busier” type of template allows me to summarize the different types of services I offer. Is it appropriate to keep a homepage like that, and use this (HOB) model for the next-level-up pages (one for tours, one for events, one for consulting, etc?) Thoughts?
Answer: You can try whatever you like. I tend to like the simpler style, too, so I encourage you toward that. Remember, the intention is to capture subscribers, not funnel first time visitors to go looking at your offers, then losing them.

If you think it’s too busy, then change it up. It’s a branding thing. If your site is simple, straightforward and enjoyable, that reflects that kind of experience people will have working with you.

The Full Question: I notice that your (HOB) homepage has the question headline, but also a slogan in the header. Does the slogan element come later (for us in the course)?
Answer: A question engages a real sense of curiosity in the reader, so questions tend to be more effective than statements. The headline is different than the “slogan” or One Compelling Sentence. The headline is meant to help them stay alive to why they are on that page. The slogan/OCS is a reflection of who they are- do they belong here?

The Full Question: This stems out of a desire to:
1. more accurately portray my practice and what I do–including what sets me apart from many other practitioners doing similar work
2. get more specific about who I want to work with, even though I know this means leaving more people outHere’s the url: http://alchemisteating.com/The whole thing is still a bit tangled and messy…and my once clear, simple homepage now has quite a few words (perhaps too many). This might get cleaned up a bit after I revisit and make changes to my “Is This You” page (perhaps some of what’s on my new homepage could be incorporated into that page instead).The new homepage speaks (I hope) to a much more specific niche of people–my newly identified ideal clients. I wonder though, whether “smart, reflective” is okay to use here—i.e., will the people I’m trying to reach hear their name in that? Or am I making too direct a transfer from my internal CFS to the homepage (where I’m wanting to invite people in…perhaps in a way, right now, that is weird and confusing–even for people who might fall within my psycho-demographic)?I could use “smart, sensitive” but that doesn’t feel quite right to me. Really, I do mean “smart, reflective”! “Successful” feels too tied up with financial success…and “educated” feels like I’m saying you should have a higher education to work with me (or to be smart, which I certainly don’t believe).I’m not so sure about this wording either: “There is a better way.” Does it seem disconnected from the text before it?Lastly, I know the “featured post” and blogs at the bottom should go. Yet I’m still resistant to take action on that…I’d of course welcome any other feedback on the page as well.I realize this experiment may fail…and my sign-up rate could drop. Or maybe sign-up rate will drop…but I’ll get more people who will eventually buy. Anyways, thought I’d give it a try and see how it goes.
Answer: Good for you on working toward clarity and letting the process be messy.For me the clutter is because you are doubling up on the subheads on that page. For instance “You know you want to eat healthier…” and then immediately after it “You know you *should*…”Those two subheads say almost the exact same thing, so get rid of one of them. The same with the other doubled subheads.I think you are sensing a subtlety in your language that doesn’t really make a big difference to the reader.As for the “smart reflective”- The way I’ve seen other clients handle this is to say something like, “You feel pretty competent and successful in areas of your life… why is health and food such a struggle?”You’re right to be suspicious of the effectiveness of “smart, reflective.” The unfortunate thing is that many people, and because of sexism especially many women, will not own the strength and clarity that they do have, and will not see themselves reflected in those kinds of positive words.But, you can come at sideways in the way I described above.Also, stop struggling: just get rid of the featured blog post. 🙂 Your newsletter signup gets lost in it.

The Full Question: I am uncertain whether to put the content below on the main home page, or to save it for the fertility specific page. Most of our patients come to our practice as fertility patients but some (a relatively small number of) patients come already pregnant hoping to address pregnancy concerns. But perhaps it is important to put this on the main homepage, because it speaks to the majority of our new patients. What do you think?Also, I am feeling very uncertain about the heading, and “We know your time is precious.” I’m trying to sum up the feeling of how long it can take to try to conceive– only having one chance each month, only 12 each year, and women often feel the pressure of time passing.

Are you longing for a baby?

Trying to bring a baby into your family has proven to be more challenging than you’d ever imagined.

After so much disappointment, frustration and loss you want to do everything you can to increase your chances of conceiving. You want to feel empowered to make informed choices and meaningful changes that are right for you. We know your time is precious.

We have helped hundreds of couples achieve their dream. Using the tools of Chinese medicine and acupuncture we are able to address the underlying issues that are making it difficult to conceive. In addition to optimizing your reproductive health, our holistic approach results in decreased stress and greater health and well being overall.

If you would like to receive more information about how we could support you on your journey to parenthood please subscribe below.

Click here for more information.

Answer: First of all, I really like the writing- it’s very strong. Way to go. And, I can understand the struggle here to choose where it goes.

I think you could write something more general to catch both kinds of patients, something along the lines of, “Whether you are trying to bring a baby into your family and it’s been really challenging, or if you already pregnant and facing issues with that [you know best how to name the pregnancy concerns].

And the headline could start out “Are you longing for a baby? Or facing a challenging pregnancy?”

Because the copy you’ve written is already so short and clear and to the point, you could add in little bits about pregnancy that could welcome those clients, too, without getting too wordy.

The Full Question: There are SO many things I could write in a headline because the aspects of getting triggered by past childhood pain can be many. So it is not easy to pick which ones really speak to my IC. Do you have any suggestions?A. Are you tired of trying to heal your childhood pain and ready to get to the real unconscious triggers that are keeping you stuck?

B. Are you tired of your childhood pain showing up and ready to get to the underlying unconscious key to total and complete healing?

C. Have you done a lot of healing but still struggling with your self-worth and self-deserving issues?

D. Are you tired of carrying around the hidden pain and guilt from your childhood and ready to truly heal it at last?

Answer: Is “IC” referring to “ideal client”? Just checking, I hadn’t seen that abbreviation before.

They are all strong headlines, and all subtly different from each other. The one I don’t think will work is B, simply because I think many people won’t believe the “total and complete healing” part, even if they want to.

The other three are all so similar, I don’t see a real significant difference between them. I would try them out and see, and I don’t think you can make a wrong decision. Good work!

The Full Question: I don’t have a free give a way yet really. How does this sound to you? By the way, I copied what you wrote in the example provided and filled in my sentence.How do you get started? Well, first download my free e-book that will give you some helpful tips on how to find relief when you are triggered and stuck in the repetitive negative inner states. Plus, you will receive additional articles twice per month to assist you on your healing journey.

Does, ‘Plus you will receive additional articles twice per month to assist you on your healing journey’ sound too vague. Does ‘assisting you on your healing journey feel to general and vague to you’? Any suggestions for what I could say instead?

Answer: I think it’s fine. Really. There’s not much to say here because it’s totally fine. 🙂

The Full Question: But there are still “recent posts” there…and there’s still stuff in the side bar. I’m sorry I keep pestering you about this, but should I really remove all that? Or just some of it?I guess I’m hoping the “recent posts” and sidebar form a border of sorts…and are hopefully less distracting than the full-sized featured post was.

Here’s the link: http://alchemisteating.com/

Answer: I know you’ve been struggling with this, and I want to ask you a question: when you scroll through that page, how obvious is it that you are asking them to join your email list and get all the support you’re offering there?

What is pulling you to put all of that other stuff onto the home page? How helpful will it be to you or to them if they click through some articles, then leave and don’t remember how to get back to your website? Or miss your announcement of an upcoming class, or a special on individual sessions?

My advice is for you to get rid of it all except the sidebar- and keep the side bar pretty minimal, except what we recommend, and see what happens.

The Full Question: Maybe I could simply include the two “badges” I’m entitled to use as a certified practitioner in these modalities, and that would assure people who know they are looking for an Emotion Code/Body Code practitioner that they have come to the right place?
Answer: I’m glad you’re happier than you thought you would be- that’s great!

You are more than welcome to include something about the modality on the home page. The badge is one way to do it. Another way is to include your title after your name, or to subtly add it in somewhere. You don’t have to leave it out entirely, just don’t make it a focus.

The Full Question: Maybe there is a way to disable that? If there isn’t then is there something more useful to call the Home page?
Answer: I would advise against that. “Home” is such an accepted convention, that changing it to another word you risk making it unrecognizable to the audience. Too many people try to get clever and inventive with basic structure, and just end up confusing people. “Home” is what the home page is.

Bring your creativity to how you express yourself. The analogy I use is the human face- there is a lot of creativity and individuality in millions of different human faces, but, for the most part, the structure of each one is basically the same. When the structure of a face isn’t the same, it throws us.

The Full Question: I don’t want to go through the whole list of feelings that are possible, and I don’t want to just touch on them, like peace, joy and vibrancy, because it is too limiting. So I chose the words life and energy because they are broad terms and and keep it from going woo-woo. Does the statement seem too broad in general?Don’t worry; I’m Jill Keller Peters. I’ve been helping people bring life and energy into their personal spaces for the last twenty years.

Full draft of home page:
Are you craving a space in your home that feels like you’ve just walked into an inspiring oasis full of welcoming beauty?

You live in a great place that is furnished with sophistication and elegance, and yet you’re frustrated because it feels like something’s missing.

You’ve searched and searched for a piece of art, not to have more possessions, but to have an authentic creation that kindles a little glow within you.

All you want is to walk into the room and feel happily nourished by your surroundings.

Don’t worry; I’m Jill Keller Peters. I’ve been helping people bring life and energy into their personal spaces for the last twenty years.

Click here to receive my e-newsletter. You will receive monthly sneak peeks of my paintings in progress and thoughts about the thrust of my work, “In spite of everything, Yes”.

If you’re new here and want to know about my ideas on strategies that could help us change the FEEL of a room with the use of color, (Link >) let’s get to know each other.

I kind of see that when you keep reading, that element 7 pulls it together?

Answer: Life and energy seem to work okay, but I think it might be stronger to repeat what you wrote in the first line. “oasis of welcoming beauty” or something that echoes that more strongly. Was there something missing from that first phrase that you were trying to capture in “life and energy”?

The Full Question: I can’t imagine that my home page would have only what I wrote in the above box. It seems light and general.Home page draft:
Do you feel stuck and confused, but are struggling to make solid decisions and be clear enough so that you can make meaningful progress in your life?You may be in pain, physically or emotionally. You may be confused and even ashamed of your condition, what you are dealing with. You may feel hopeless or desperate. You know you can do more and you don’t want to give up, but right now you can’t see how to move forward and make progress.If you want to live a more fulfilling and meaningful life, achieve closeness and discover how to love, you are in the right place.You can make clear, confident, and meaningful progress in your life, and in the process achieve closeness with others and increased love in your life.And, you may be wondering, can our approach really help you? Click here to find out who really benefits from our approach.

Answer: Actually, the home page feels strong to me, in many ways. There are a couple of things that I think would be helpful:- Adding a testimonial from a client, if you have one. If you don’t have one, working with some pro bono clients to gain testimonials, and more experience, can be super helpful.- It’s a little vague what you’re talking about. When you say “progress in your life” what exactly do you mean? You might want to make that more clear, or use a “you know how” version of the One Compelling Sentence- if you haven’t done that work in Foundations1, it goes something like this: “You know how people can get to a certain point in their life, and just feel like they are spinning their wheels? Or that big decisions somehow just keep not getting made, and they feel like they are living on autopilot?”It’s like the mini-scenarios from the Is This You page, which is the next page you’ll work on, which get more specific. -Finally, it would be good to introduce yourself in this page. One of the elements is to say, “Hi, my name is Johann Bach, and I’ve been helping people like this for a long time.” The home page doesn’t have to be long, or in-depth- it’s like the window of a store- if it’s clear enough to show that it’s relevant to the person looking, they’ll come inside.

The Full Question: Are you looking for art that stimulates your creativity, paintings that you can return to again and again and sit across from in a room for the unknown reason but that they make you feel more energetic, connected and hopeful?
Answer: I very much understand the sentence, and it speaks to me. It is too long. I think it would be helped by being broken up into at least two sentence, or even a bullet-point list.

A lot depends on the context you are planning to use it in. There are too many ideas in it for it to be a headline, but, as I said, it could be an effective bullet-point list or short paragraph in copy somewhere.

The Full Question: HEADLINE: Are you longing for more impact and greater visibility for your nonprofit and those you serve?Does this sound familiar? Your organization is working harder then ever. You’ve doubled the number of clients you serve and expanded your communications efforts. Yet you are still the best kept secret in your community. You have a desire to do more to serve your clients and advance your mission but overwhelmed by how to fit one more thing on your already overcrowded plate.

If you feel like your nonprofit is looking for a new approach to help it work smarter not harder then you’re in the right place.

How do you get started?

First, download our free 10 Qualities of Highly Successful Nonprofits where we share with you the secret to more effectiveness and every month you’ll continue to get articles on how to improve your impact and effectiveness. (DO I need to mention that they have to supply their email? Or is that an insigifncant detail not worth including here?)

You may be wondering can our approach really work with you? Click here to see if our approach may be able to help your organization.

Answer: Great! One thing that I would question is “You’ve doubled the number…efforts.” It will make organizations that haven’t done that think it’s not for them. Maybe something more vague, “You’ve been trying every way you can think of to reach more people, and some have been somewhat successful. Yet you are still…”

And yes, you don’t have to mention email- the form itself will be asking for the email, and that’s obvious enough.

Great work!

The Full Question: I still want to get a portrait of myself there, but it will come soon. I would rather that you go to my website if possible, but understand your need to get things done in a timely manner. Just in case: www.jillkellerpeters.comAre you struggling to create an area of beauty and harmony in your personal spaces where you can be refreshed, calmed and inspired?

You’ve been trying to find the right piece of artwork for a good while. You’ve perused through stacks of paintings in fabulous galleries and online, and you’re just not connecting with any paintings the way you’d hoped for.

What you really want is to create a space so when you come home, you can flop down, relax and feel inspired. You want this space to feel safe and happy, like a refuge, and to hold beauty so your spirits can lifted, making you feel refreshed and peaceful.

You really can acquire just the right painting, the one that soothes and restores you, and brings an oasis of life to the innermost part of you.

What you really need, is to ask of yourself, “How do I want to FEEL in this room, in this space?”.

I’m Jill Keller Peters, and I paint from my heart. Through life’s crazy, surprising passages I have learned to paint in a way that liberates my own joy and calm, and I paint with the intention of bringing resilience, peace and beauty to the viewer.

OFFER:
If this makes sense to you, and more importantly if you want to know more about my approach to art creation, sign up for my little e-book, for free, so that you can expand your thinking about what you may want in a painting.

Plus, I send a once a month email where I share with you my thoughts about art and color, why I paint, what’s in process, and much much more.

Click here to go get the “How Do I Want to Feel in My Room?” e-book.

If you want to read more about me and what drives my work . . .

If you want to see the Portfolio, let me walk you through my artwork . . .

QUESTION: Does any of it need to be more succinct? Shorter? Thank you!!

Answer: I really like what you’re doing, and I really enjoyed your art as well, looking at your website.

I think you can delete the entire paragraph that starts with “You’ve been trying to find…” I think it’s unnecessary, and turns toward the act of finding the art too soon, instead of keeping the focus on what they are feeling and wanting to experience. I really like the assertion, “You really can acquire just the right painting…” I think it’s very strong.

There is a LOT of white space around your words- at least on my screen. A lot of space between paragraphs, and the leading of the paragraph lines themselves. It’s too much. I want to see the text displaying much more tightly. Right now it gives the impression of a lot of text, when it’s really very simple and short, something someone can zip through, feel connected to, and get back to enjoying the beauty you have available.

Check with your web designer on how to make the text display more tightly.

Full Question: And 2) It seems to me like my demographics and my psychographics are saying the same thing. Are they different enough to be effective or would it be better to collapse them under one heading?As a strong capable, and busy working woman, do any of these situations seem familiar?
If things are OK at home you can handle stress at work. Your home life gives you what you need in order to be able to cope with a demanding job or work environment. But now something has happened: you’re developing a new relationship, your kid is having challenges in school, your elderly parents need more of your attention, you’re struggling in your intimate relationship… and it’s taking a toll on you.
When things at work are ok you can handle a demanding home life. Work gives you what you need in order to go home and be available to your family the way you want: drive the kids to piano lessons or hockey practice; help them with their homework; work out with your spouse; do the groceries; hang out with your girlfriends, and somehow take care of yourself. But now something has changed at work: a new boss, new job responsibilities, new job, retirement, new coworker… and you can’t seem to get your balance back.
You’ve always been able to handle stress but suddenly, you can’t seem to relax any more. Maybe you’re not enjoying the things you used to, or you don’t feel like yourself any more. You don’t really know what happened and you don’t know what to do about it.
The compassionate counselling approach works for women who
work in or out of the home
like the idea of investing time and energy in themselves but are overwhelmed and don’t know where to start
want to be kind to themselves, but don’t know how
want to access their inner wisdom but find it hard to do when they’re on the go
Our slow, gentle, integrative and holistic approach will work for you if you have the following values:
you are spiritually inclined or interested
you enjoy confronting challenges and solving problems
you believe in the power of compassion and nonviolence
you are interested in self-help or personal growth

Answer: First of all, your vignettes are clear and easy to understand. They work. And, you could probably break them down a little bit more, such as:
– You’ve gotten a promotion at work, but the stress of the new workload is too much to handle…
– You have had a new boss appointed over you, and you are not getting along. It’s become crazy-making, and you suddenly yelling at your kids more.
– One of your kids is in trouble at school, and you’re about to lose your cool.
By listing some specific situations, people can feel more seen.
As far as your demographic/psychographic list- it doesn’t follow our template, but it does work. I think you could combine them to be effective in what you’re doing.
Good for you in striking out on your own. The template is there to help meet the needs of the reader, but it’s not the only way to do things. As long as people feel well and truly seen, then they can respond to you.

The Full Question: the scene where the doc says it’s old age… seems like something’s missing, is it too vague? Do the demos and values seem appropriate given the scenes?Is This You?
Do any of these situations seem familiar to you?
-It’s a beautiful day. You’re out in the park with your child. Oh oh somebody falls down and starts to cry. Her little arms reach up to you. Despite your back pain you pick her up anyway, of course… but now your back pain is searing.
-You’re playing basketball with your son. You set up to make a shot but all of a sudden your low back hurts again and you don’t know why. Game over and you hobble off the court.
-You’re a creative artist and produce good work but now you’re starting to feel blocked. You want to go to the next level creatively. You feel that something’s missing, that creative edge, that freedom to explore more depth and grow as an artist.
-You’re swimming like you do every morning. But your shoulder is hurting again, so you have to slow down. You move yourself to the slow lane. You don’t want to be in the slow lane.
-the doctor says that your problem is just the result of aging. What do you expect at your age, says he? And you’re not even old. You refuse to believe there’s nothing you can do.
– You’re with your development team at work. The shooting pain down your arm is interfering with your ability to concentrate and contribute. You feel like you’re holding everyone back and possibly your career.This method works well for people who are:
• diagnosed with repetitive strain injury
• recovering from an injury
• recovering from surgery
• have chronic or intermittent pain
• athletes who want to improve and gain their competitive edge
•artists who want to push beyond their creative edge.
• having balance problems
This method is very effective for people who have the following values:
• You love to learn
• Love to be physically active
• Love to laugh
• You’re open to new experiences
• You value being the best you can be
• You value efficiency
• You’re patient with yourself

Answer: Some are a little specific, for instance, the first two scenarios could be combined, and you can remove details like “It’s a beautiful day.” Something like, “You’re out with your kid, and whether they’re young enough to want to be picked up, or they’re older and want you to play ball with them, either way you end up tweaking your back.”The others all fit, except for the artist one. Someone reading it is going to say, ‘Huh?” All the others are about pain, and suddenly this is about creative edge. I think this is an issue of not being able to easily combine both of those groups. Unless the creative edge for the artist has to do with hurting themselves somehow?It may be hard to let go of, but I don’t know if you can combine “creative edge” and the physical pain message easily. Can you, in the next assignment, or on a coaching call, describe the overlap you are seeing there?

The Full Question: Draft of the Is This You page scenarios:
Not sure if you’re in the right place? Check out the scenarios below and see if they are familiar.- You’ve gone back to school and you’re proud of the example you’re setting for your kids, but between work, school, and family the stress of balancing it all is giving you headaches. You feel like you haven’t had an hour to yourself for weeks.- You like your job, but you’re driving for it all the time. The stiffness and soreness in your shoulders and low back is mounting, and it’s starting to get in the way of enjoying your life.- You’re passionate about your job in a helping profession, but the problems of those you help are so intense that you have trouble letting go an enjoying yourself outside of work. You’re worried that you’re on the road to burn out.- You’ve reached so many of your goals in life: you have a job, a place to live, maybe even a family. But something is missing. You feel like an essential part of you is not being expressed, and that all of your talents aren’t being used.- You have a repetitive use injury, you’ve tried all the conventional treatments—maybe even surgery—but you’re still not back to 100%.- You’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia, you hurt everywhere and your body just seems to get stiffer and tighter day-by-day.- You’re getting older and you used to be very physically active, but somehow that fell away now you just feel stiff and sore. You want that ease of movement and comfort in your body back.

Answer: Seven scenarios! Just in terms of number, this is the most you should provide, and so you’re good at that level. The scenarios are varied, and yet general enough, that it captures quite a lot.I think you could do a couple things. “Fibromyalgia” seems very specific. Unless that’s your speciality, I’m wondering if you could replace that, or add to it, “or other chronic disease that leaves you in pain.”The one scenario that seems out of place is #4- reached so many goals in life but something is missing. There’s a dissonance there- everything is talking about pain or burnout. This “something missing” doesn’t quite jibe with those others, and it leaves me scratching my head a bit, “Huh?” Could you weave something in about dissastisfaction/burnout/exhaustion, so that it feels like it belongs here?Otherwise, strong scenarios! Short, well-written, clear. Way to go!

The Full Question: The reason why it doesn’t fit as well is because one the big benefits of yoga and meditation is finding direction (and courage to follow that direction) toward a more meaningful path in life. This was totally part of the process for me, but I’m not sure if that’s the number one reason why people come to yoga. In my early twenties I felt a big disappointment in adult life and a restlessness associated with that, in the short term yoga helped deal with that frustration and over the years helped me forge a path forward to more meaningful work.
So here are the full vignettes again. Is it appropriate to try to have one for this issue and if so does the ” you’re reached so many goals” vignette get the point across?Not sure if you’re in the right place? Check out the scenarios below and see if they are familiar.- You’ve gone back to school and you’re proud of the example you’re setting for your kids, but between work, school, and family, the stress of balancing it all is giving you headaches. You feel like you haven’t had an hour to yourself for weeks.- You like your job, but you’re driving for it all the time. The stiffness and soreness in your shoulders and low back is mounting, and it’s starting to get in the way of enjoying your life.- You’re passionate about your job in a helping profession, but the problems of those you help are so intense that you have trouble letting go an enjoying yourself outside of work. You’re worried that you’re on the road to burn out.- You’ve reached so many of your goals in life: you have a job, a place to live, maybe even a family. You should celebrate, but sometimes if feels like you’re wearing yourself out running from commitment to commitment. You’re so tired, yet you feel like an essential part of you is not being expressed, and that all of your talents aren’t being used.- You have a repetitive use injury, you’ve tried all the conventional treatments—maybe even surgery—but you’re still not back to 100%.- You’ve been diagnosed with fibromyalgia or another chronic condition that leaves you in pain. You hurt everywhere and your body just seems to get stiffer and tighter day-by-day.- You’re getting older and you used to be very physically active, but somehow that fell away now you just feel stiff and sore. You want that ease of movement and comfort in your body back.

Answer: Great question. IN general, I really like your vignettes, they feel very on-point to me. One niggle- the second scenario, “You like your job, but you’re driving for it all the time.” I’m not sure what you mean by “driving for it.” Do you mean commuting? Do you mean it’s a professional driving job, like truck driver or cabbie? Maybe you could say something like, “You’re sitting all the time” which would cover a desk or a car.For your main question, I really do like the “You’ve reach so many of your goals in your life,” vignette. It’s different than the others, and I think that’s okay. You’ll need to have the How It Works page make sure that it’s clear as to why that particular vignette, as well as the physical pain, can be met.Great work!

The Full Question: Also, I know I’ve listed 8 mini scenario’s. I don’t expect you to comment on all of them but would you mind giving me some overall feedback on them? Okay, too long, too general etc. Thank you!Do any of these scenarios sound familiar to you?You’ve worked with therapists in the past to deal with old traumas and family issues but emotional wounds keep surfacing and it’s taking a toll on your physical and emotional health. You know that you can no longer ignore it hoping that it will all just go away.You’re exercising regularly and eating well but you still feel heavy, sluggish, and lethargic. You wonder whether you’re hectic lifestyle has something to do with it.You’re exploring your spirituality more and developing a deeper connection with yourself and source, but you feel disconnected from your partner and friends more than ever. You feel stuck and don’t know how to deal with it.
You’re at a restaurant with friends and realise that pretty much everything on the menu contains something that your gut will react too. You feel you’re heart sink because you know that whatever you eat you’re going to feel gassy and bloated.
You are financially independent and have a good support network but the fact is you don’t really like yourself. You constantly criticise yourself and put others needs above your own.
You wake up and pretty soon the racing thoughts and churning feeling kick in. You worry about work, friendships, relationships, being late, not doing a good enough job, what other people think…pretty much everything and you just want it all to stop but you don’t know how.
You’re going through a relationship breakup or have recently been through a major life change. You feel lost and empty, and you wonder how you’re going to start picking up the pieces of your life and move forward.
You live your life according to a strict schedule, so when things don’t go to plan you feel out of control and experience overwhelming anxiety and fear.
Are you?
• Employed
• A student,
• A parent
• Single
• In a relationship,
• Married
• Aged between 20’s and 30’s
• Engages in alternative therapies (e.g., Acupuncture, naturopathy)
• Does some form of spiritual practice (mediation, yoga)
• Has anxiety, stress, depression, relationship problems, digestive problems
Do you value:
• Health?
• Spirituality?
• Openness to learning and trying new approaches?
• Commitment to healing and looking after self?

Answer: For your first question, the anxiety, stress, depression, etc are not demographics, they are problems. You ideally want to cover those in the scenarios above, not in the demographics list.
Your scenarios are strong and clear. The only issue is that the digestive/at-a-restaurant scenario seems out of place. I’m wondering if you can take it out of the “restaurant” location, and instead say something about the struggles with food that leave you feeling gassy and bloated, something that places it in a context similar to the other scenarios, so the problem of the scenario won’t seem so far apart from the others.

The Full Question: Draft of my Is This You PageDo you see yourself reflected in one or two of the following?You are the successful founder of a non-profit and you’ve been working non-stop for 40 years. You know you’ve contributed to your field, but something tells you there is an even greater leadership role for you to play. In your exhaustion, you’re tempted to retire and rest, but want to honor the small voice urging you to step forward in a new way. You don’t even know how. What to do?You’re recovering from a life-threatening disease and are doing well, except for the fear that keeps haunting you. You’ve tried meditation and various therapies and are looking for something that could make more of a difference at this important period of your life.You’re in a high level, rewarding job, and now the company decides to change direction and in spite of your good track record, is going to let you go. You’re devastated and scared, because in your ‘60’s, who is going to hire you? You have an idea about starting a business, but aren’t sure whether that’s the right decision at this important crossroads.
You’re an artist, and you know you do good work but aren’t making much money and are dependent on your partner’s salary. Suddenly you’ve had an attack of guilt and self-doubt and are wondering whether you’re a burden on your love, and should give up and get a real job. You need clarity and also the courage to move ahead in whatever direction you choose.
You’re a nationally known healer and speaker and you’ve done a lot of work on yourself. Even though you’re a success, you suddenly feel the loneliness of being perceived as “being at the top” and “having it all together.” You still have more to unveil in yourself, and lately you have some old wounds and self-doubts rising– and the usual alternative modalities aren’t working the way they used to.
You’re in a leadership position in an organization that started out to be a changemaker, but has gotten mired down in strategies that don’t feel too spiritual any more. You want to inspire your staff to move beyond survival techniques that feel fear-based, and to step into their best selves at work. You’re tired and out of ideas.
If you’re an accomplished, spiritually-oriented person who still longs for clarity and confidence moving into uncharted territory, you’re not alone. Many professionals feel alone with their persistent fears and self doubts as the challenges get bigger, and are seeking a spiritual approach that is also grounded and practical.
The clients I’ve helped the most tend to be:
mature adults, 40-70
practicing some form of meditation, yoga or spiritual practice–or wanting to return to a practice
well-educated and trained professionally
thought leaders, professional or retired leaders in their community
I can probably help you best if you share these values:
A connection to the Divine, however that is defined for you
A regard for spiritual practices like meditation, yoga and energy healing
A respect for indigenous practices, wisdom, ceremonial and healing practices
A willingness to adventure, to dive deep, to find one’s truth and essence
A longing to contribute to the evolution of the human species and to help save the planet
A respect for imaginative, creative, right-brained approaches
A respect for all religions as paths to the One Being
Now, do you feel at home with all of this?
I’d love to have you join our community and explore our approach more deeply. You’ll have the Flying Lessons kit as your first set of tools for healing and transformation.
And click here to learn even more about how to venture into your next chapter with grace!

Answer: Yes, very clear who you are trying to reach. There is some disconnect, however, with two of your scenarios. The life-threatening illness, and the “starving artist” scenarios both don’t fit with the theme you’ve set up through the other scenarios. I think you could weave them in with some intentionality. You could call the artist an “accomplished” artist, or someone who has had some success, but has never made it financially.
And for the illness, you could also weave in that they’ve been successful and the disease is waking them up to what’s really important, or something like that. These are just ideas, but those two scenarios need to be woven into the larger framework so the reader doesn’t have the “Huh? What’s this doing here?”
Otherwise there’s a lot of strength and consistency in what you’ve written. Great work!

The Full Question: Is This You page draft
Do you want to let go of that out of control feeling and just get a break?How do you know if we can help?
Comments: I think it would be more effective to give just a little bit more here, like, “I’ve worked with people in many different situations. See if any of these scenarios resonates with you.”
Draft continues:
You are someone who likes a challenge but lately you have been feeling like you are being challenged in every area of your life. You can’t even get a handle on one area before a challenge presents itself in another area.You don’t mind change, in fact, you may even welcome it. However, right now nothing seems to be staying the same and you feel ungrounded and off balance.You feel most comfortable with structure and schedule, but you are now in the midst of what feels like chaos and unpredictability in your home or work, or most likely both at the same time! You can do this for a short time, but you know you can’t sustain this way and you want to find some form of relief.You are looking to grow in your business or at work, but in order to do so there are hours and hours of time and energy that are required. You have been putting the rest of your life on the back burner so you can expend your energy toward business needs, but the responsibilities of the rest of your life are starting to loom big and you aren’t sure how you are going to handle it all.You spend so much of your life giving to others, whether at home with your family, or within your chosen job. You are starting to feel drained and depleted and as if it is never ending. You are struggling to find a bit of peace.You have a pretty good handle on what you need to do to keep yourself balanced emotionally, but occasionally you find yourself feeling overwhelmed and like you could use some guidance to help you find some relief.You feel like you are doing all the “right” things to keep your body healthy, but you still don’t feel well. You are tired, lack energy and are emotionally exhausted and overwhelmed.
Comments: Great scenarios. Clear.
Draft continues:
Do you see yourself in one or two of these? If you do, we would love to work with you.We have previously helped:Moms – new or seasoned
Women who work
Women who are balancing work and family
Women who are dealing with digestive disorders
Women who are dealing with chronic painThe values that are held by the women who have found relief with us so far include:They want to be able to make changes in their life for themselves
They want a healthy lifestyle
They want to live with a sense of peace and happiness
They want to live a life that is sustainable and manageable
They are willing to make the changes that are necessary to bring themselves into a place of relief
They are willing to continue to make choices that will help them to stay in a place of happiness
They want to stop the madness
They want to stop feeling out of breath and out of controlDoes this sound like you? If so, and you would like to learn more, you may begin by downloading our free e-book 5 Ways to Shift from Overwhelm to Relief.
Comments: Pretty well written page, so good work! Are you truly more than one person? If it’s just you, say “I” not “we.” If it is a “we,” then that’s fine. :)Some of your values list repeats the scenarios and really more problems/challenges than values. “Stop the madness,” “out of breath and out of control,” can probably be removed. Also, “willing to make changes” and “willing to make choices” seem redundant to me as a reader, I would remove one of them, and probably the second one, because it’s slightly confusing to me.Great job!

The Full Question: How is the draft of the Is This You page looking? It feels really drafty. I am struggling with being specific and not wanting to exclude people, yet I’ve pretty much covered the basics for my population I think.

Answer:
IS THIS YOU:Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?You got into your work as a healer so that you could help people live healthier and happier lives. But somewhere along the way you lost track of yourself and now you are stuck and burnt out, sick and tired of giving so much to others.You’ve honed your craft as a creative person, and are getting good feedback, and may even be making a living with your art. Yet, you are feeling uninspired, lost, and less and less connected to what you love about expressing yourself through art.Your yoga and meditation practice helped you find some inner quiet and peace in your otherwise busy day. And, now you’ve gotten stuck because you feel overwhelmed when you start to practice. You do everything you can to find that peace, but it’s just not happening.You are full of ideas about starting a new business and can hardly wait to share your gifts with the world. And, as soon as you start taking a step in that direction you feel fear and wonder, “Who am I to think I could actually run my own business? Share my thoughts and ideas with the world?” You freeze. And, your ideas stay on the shelf and your business isn’t developing.Your life has been going along pretty smoothly, with the normal bumps in the road, but you are pretty content. And, then one day you learn that you have cancer or HIV and everything changes in an instant. You are overwhelmed and not sure how to cope with this news and all the decisions you need to make.You’ve created a nice life for yourself, you’ve gotten through school and started your career, and have rewarding friendships. But you can’t find a romantic partner no matter how many dates you go on, and you can’t figure out why this is so difficult.You’ve lived most of your life with chronic health problems, anxiety and depression, yet you haven’t given up. You’ve been a seeker, trying lots of different ways of healing. And, still you don’t feel well physically or emotionally and you are frustrated.Your life can feel pretty overwhelming on a daily basis, managing all of the demands of work, family, and friends. Self care is not happening. Then something awful happens to you or someone you love and you are suddenly hit with so much grief you wonder how you will begin to go on when life is already so challenging.
Comment: Great scenarios. These are actually very clear. It would be great if you could get these down to the 5 most essential scenarios.Perhaps you can do this by dropping the 5th, as it is covered more generally by the 8th, and you mention the HIV/AIDS demographic below?Perhaps first and second could also be combined.The 3rd one felt least compelling to me… I wondered if these people would actually seek your help for one of the other issues, and want help to reconnect with their spiritual practice as part of the “help to solve their problem” as opposed to this being the problem that is foremost on their mind.
Draft Continues: My approach works well for: Teachers and healers: the rapists, social workers, psychologists, body workers, energy healers, yoga and meditation teachers; Spiritual seekers with an existing practice or those or who want to begin to practice; Young adults who want to start a career or relationship; Middle aged women in life transitions with their bodies or work or relationships; People who make a living through artistry: dancers, actors, directors, singers, artists, writers; People who use alternative methods of healing: natural medicine, essential oils, acupuncture, Ayurveda, etc; People who have physical or emotional challenges that are difficult to treat; Members of the LGBT and HIV/AIDS communities.
Comment: Great, clear writing. That is a very wide demographic that you are working with though… Have you been able to identify the connecting thread – what they all have in common?
Draft Continues:
My approach will work for you if you have the following values:
You believe that life can be lived fully, even with ups and downs
You are willing to be patient with yourself
You are curious, and even have a sense of humor
You are open to inner work to learn and grow
You believe in the capacity for natural healing through the body and it’s wisdom
You want to live your life with a connection to your heart or a Divine presence
Comment:
Great!
For the first one – just a small thing – would it be more clear / impactful to say “You want to live life fully, even with the ups and downs” or “It’s important to you to “live life fully”, even with ups and downs.” ?
… Your writing is good and clear… So, perhaps not so draftey after all!?!

The Full Question: Could you please provide feedback on my Is This You page?Alchemist Recovery: Because addiction is predictable but you are unique.
You’re successful at what you do and used to solving the problems that come your way….but with this, it’s different [.]
You love the ones closest to you, yet you feel unheard or misunderstood when trying to explain exactly what’s going on.
You’re an intelligent person, but for some reason, there’s no logical way to make sense of why this cycle keeps going.
Despite your best efforts, you find that the tension is building up at home and/or at work [.]
You’ve proven yourself to be responsible and more than capable. Yet you may have thought of yourself, or have been called, “weak” or “not strong enough” because you haven’t been able to “take care of this” on your own.
Maybe this is the first time you’re entertaining the idea that you have a problem. And the prospect of you actually being “an addict” leaves you feeling completely overwhelmed.
Or
Maybe you’ve tried to tackle this problem before. And now, going back leaves you feeling alone, guilty, fearful or stuck.
Things were going fine, and then, out of the blue, something happened and life just hasn’t been the same. You can’t seem to get back on track.
You know that you need help, yet you’re frustrated that you can’t find an approach that speaks your language.

Answer: Hm. This is not a complete Is This You page. You had other material in your homework assignment, but I couldn’t see the whole page copy altogether anywhere. Can you resubmit this so I can give feedback on the page as whole please?

The Full Question: Could you please provide feedback on my Is This You page? (Here’s the url to see how it lays out on the page: http://alchemisteating.com/is-this-you/) IS THIS YOU? AS SOMEONE READY FOR CHANGE IN EATING AND HEALTH, DO ANY OF THESE SOUND FAMILIAR? You feel like you’re “fighting yourself” in an effort to lose or maintain weight.
You’re constantly dieting or overexercising—or both—without getting the results you want.
Comment: This looks like it could be on one line. To round out the vignette you can consider adding a final feeling statement, e.g.:You feel like you’re “fighting yourself” in an effort to lose or maintain weight. You’re constantly dieting or overexercising—or both—without getting the results you want. It’s more than a little frustrating.
Draft continues: You’re eating “pretty healthy,” exercising more and more, and still can’t keep the weight off. Maybe this has been going on your whole life. Or maybe it started after you reached middle age or menopause.
Comment: Again, you can round out this vignette with a feeling statement:You’re eating “pretty healthy,” exercising more and more, and still can’t keep the weight off. Maybe this has been going on your whole life. Or maybe it started after you reached middle age or menopause. You find yourself longing for…. ???
Draft continues: You’ve tried other diets in the past—perhaps “cleanses,” “detoxes” and “plant-based” eating. Sometimes they work for a while…but over the long-run, things go back to normal (or get worse).
Comment: Is this part of the first one?You feel like you’re “fighting yourself” in an effort to lose or maintain weight. You’re constantly dieting or overexercising—or both—without getting the results you want. It’s more than a little frustrating. For example, you’ve tried other diets in the past—perhaps “cleanses,” “detoxes” and “plant-based” eating. And sometimes they work for a while…but even then, you find that over the long-run, things go back to normal (or get worse).
Draft continues: You’ve been diagnosed with (or suspect you have) a digestion-related disorder or autoimmune condition Western medicine hasn’t been able to fix. This leaves you wondering: What can I do to heal my body, put an end to these miserable symptoms and get my life back? Other doctors want to give you prescription medications to manage your symptoms…but you sense there’s another, healthier way.You’re struggling with an eating addiction or eating disorder (whether currently or in the past). This may be diagnosed or “just a feeling.” It may be controlling your life. Or it may fall on the spectrum of “habit”—but you don’t like where things are headed. You’re afraid of changing your relationship to food and eating (or simply don’t know how).To get started with Alchemist Eating, subscribe to our newsletter at the top of this page and receive your Free Guide to Overcoming Sugar Addiction. (It’s helpful for working with other cravings and habits too.)Click here to learn more about our program.WE’VE HELPED PEOPLE WHO…Have been overweight their whole lives, or have gained weight as they’ve gotten older.
Have tried other diets without lasting success.
Have eating disorders or eating addictions.
Have digestion-related disorders, including diabetes, high cholesterol, leaky gut, gluten sensitivity, acid reflux, IBS and SIBO.WE MOST BENEFIT PEOPLE WHO…Want to change their eating patterns.
Want realistic, long-term solutions.
Want to be an active partner in their healing process.
Are ready to explore habits and patterns with honesty, curiosity and self-compassion.

Answer:
I think this works. Traditionally, the vignettes are more like mini-stories / scenarios. However in your case, this is a good place to really identify these subgroups in your client profiles with clear outlines of their demographic and psychographic upfront. The suggestions I’ve made hopefully help strike a balance between the story-telling style and the straight naming of the subgroup. At the end of the day, the most important thing is that you have written something that your clients can easily recognise themselves in.
On your website, the last two sections (We’ve helped people who… and We most benefit people who…) could stand out a lot more with significantly larger, and perhaps also bolder, font.

The Full Question: Are there too many points in the sections? Are the points too long? Do the demographics work as such or are they really more psychographics? This was difficult and feels very uncertain.
Can you relate to any of these scenarios?• You wonder how other people manage a demanding job, kids, a spouse, pets, run a household, go to the gym and keep smiling. You feel like you can barely hold it together, but there aren’t many people you can talk to openly. Is it just you?
• Your mind spins, working overtime like a hamster on a wheel trying to figure out what you need to do in order to show others that you are doing a good job. You are exhausting yourself and you worry how it is affecting your health.
• You once had a dream or a plan and you put it on hold, making more practical choices. It was supposed to be temporary. Now you are painfully aware of how long “temporary” has become, and it seems like life is passing you by.
• You have been engaged in stable work or a relationship for a long time and somewhere along the way, you changed. Now it feels like you are wearing someone else’s clothes. Secretly, you know something needs to change, but how?
• Your time is filled with responsibilities: you work, you tend to loved ones and run a household, you are on committees, hold a volunteer position, or run a small business on the side. How is it that you can do so much and still feel like something is missing?Maybe you:
• Are in your middle years
• Are close to retirement
• Browse the self-help section of bookstores
• Go to personal development workshops
• Have benefited from the help of a massage therapist, naturopathic doctor, therapist, or other holistic practitioners.
• Have sampled tai chi, yoga, or meditation classesYou also:
• value your relationship to your own body, heart, and mind.
• want time to yourself
• value kindness
• value authentic connection to others
• trust – or want to trust – that the world is a safe place
• want your contribution to the world to be unique and genuineClick here to find out what you can expect
Or
Take a look at the blog to read more.

Answer: It’s such a process, isn’t it? Not always easy! Your page reads fairly strongly in many places. In your page the scenarios seem clear, although the first sentence of the first one I’m not sure of the exact meaning there- are they hiding their pain, or are they truly happy, the people you are describing?The demographics are demographics for sure, so don’t worry about that. I think you need some connecting text between the sections, just a sentence or so. And definitely a bit more text at the end, “If this sounds like you, then I can help! You may next be wondering how I work.” etc.The work and effort you are putting in is definitely showing.

The Full Question: Here is an example of one in two styles. Any feedback on their effectiveness especially on this page?-Your days run smoothly, your systems are in place. You love being of service to people in your work, a work which is thriving. Yet, there is something missing. It may keep you up at night and those you love cannot really understand what the problem is let alone the solution. You need a place to address this that isn’t just more talk. It’s really really important.
Alt.- Your days run smoothly. You love being in service in your work and it is thriving! Wasn’t this what you wanted and planned for? Why do you still feel something is missing? And why is it so hard to talk about? Maybe it keeps you up at night wondering; “I am so good at helping others and yet I feel so stuck!”

Answer: They both seem strong, they say the same thing. I have a preference for the statements over the questions, because I find 3 questions in a row a little overwhelming. A question activates the reader to try and answer it, and 3 in a row can get them engaged trying to answer the question instead of being with the statement/empathy.

The Full Question: Here is what I came up with:Does This Sound Familiar?
Life is spiraling out of control. You feel burned out and overwhelmed with work, kids and piles of stuff. The bare minimum is getting done and it is not ok!
Or Maybe This?
Your days run smoothly, your systems are in place. You love being of service to people in your work, a work which is thriving. Yet, there is something missing. It may keep you up at night. Those you love cannot really understand the problem let alone the solution. You need a place to address this that isn’t just more talk. It’s really really important.
Does This Sound Like You?
– I feel isolated
– I cannot find a way out of the darkness.
– Big changes in my life are draining me
– I feel frustrated and lost because of less and less time for myself and I miss that connection.
Do You Experience This?
-When I get quiet spirit comes alive and I want more
-I wish I could understand what my body pains are telling me
-Guidance rooted in wisdom turns me on
-It is important to me to bring spiritual values into all my relationships
This Work is Helpful if You Are…
– A healer, yoga practitioner or teacher
– A man or woman following a spiritual path
-A working mom or dad
-Someone living with chronic illness
-Someone experiencing sudden death in the family, divorce or new birth.

Answer: You are definitely going in the right direction – congratulations on the work you’ve done! You’ll want some more transition language between sections, especially before the “Does this sound like you?”- otherwise it sounds like an echo of the two previous subheads “sound familiar” and “or maybe this” and so I need to understand what the next section really is. You’ve changed up our format a bit, which is totally fine- I like to see people getting creative- but make sure the reader can follow you through it, re: the above comments. Also, the shift from “Do you experience this” to “When I get quiet..” that shift from “you” to “I” is confusing to me as a reader. Because you are already addressing me as “you” when you use “I” my mind is thinking you are talking about yourself, not me. So keep it “you” consistently all the way through. Make sense?

The Full Question: I’d love to know how they look now … and if I’m trying to do too much in the 1st and last ones, where I did most of the combining. Thanks!Is This You Page draft:
Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?You’ve honed your craft as a creative person or as a healer. Yet, you are feeling uninspired, lost, and less and less connected to what you love about expressing yourself through your gifts. Perhaps somewhere along the way you lost track of yourself and now you are stuck and burnt out, sick and tired of being creatively blocked or giving so much of yourself to others.You are full of ideas about starting a new business and can hardly wait to share your gifts with the world. And, as soon as you start taking a step in that direction you feel fear and wonder, “Who am I to think I could actually run my own business? Share my thoughts and ideas with the world?” You freeze. And, your ideas stay on the shelf and your business isn’t developing.You’ve created a nice life for yourself and things seem to be going along pretty smoothly. You’ve gotten through school and started your career, and have rewarding friendships. But you can’t find a romantic partner no matter how many dates you go on, and you can’t figure out why this is so difficult.You’ve lived most of your life with chronic health problems, anxiety and depression, yet you haven’t given up. You’ve been a seeker, trying lots of different ways of healing. And, still you don’t feel well physically or emotionally and you are frustrated.Your life can feel pretty overwhelming on a daily basis, managing all of the demands of work, family, and friends. Self care is barely happening or may even be non-existent. Then, one day everything changes in an instant, you get a new diagnosis, or something awful happens to someone you love. And you are suddenly hit with so much grief you wonder how you will begin to go on, how you will make the decisions you need to make, and how you can possibly make time to care for yourself, when life is already so overwhelming.Answer:
The scenarios seem really clear to me. The only disconnection comes up with the second one about starting a business- it feels different than the others. You might want to say, “creative project, like a business, or other thing you’d love to accomplish” and put the emphasis more on the stuck creativity or procastination, rather than on creating a business.I may have a particular lens and yet I know that “business coaching” is such a particular frame, you don’t want your reader to be thinking that. Do you?Good work overall.

The Full Question: Not sure what it might sound like. Maybe you could direct me to some good examples online?Is This You?

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

• You work full time, you tend to loved ones and maintain an active social life. You are active on boards and committees. You run a club, maintain a volunteer position, or a business on the side. But you are also worn out. How is it that you can do so much and still feel like something is missing?

• Years ago, you put a dream aside and started this career because it seemed like a reasonable compromise. Now you are painfully aware of having lost touch with what you wanted, and how much time has already gone by.

• You don’t feel confident, so your brain works overtime like a hamster on a wheel trying to figure out how to stay a step ahead of people you either need to take care of or impress. Exhaustion is just a way of life now.

• You are facing retirement. On the one hand, you have waited a long time for this. On the other, you are not sure how to fill your time or be productive without the work that has given you purpose.

• When an acquaintance asks you what you do for fun, you say something vague, then change the subject. As the evening progresses, you realize that you aren’t sure what fun means anymore or when was the last time you had any.

Maybe you:
• Are in your middle years
• Are thinking about retirement
• Browse the self-help section of bookstores
• Go to personal development workshops
• Have benefited from the help of a massage therapist, naturopathic doctor, or other holistic practitioners.
• Have sampled tai chi, yoga, or meditation classes

And you:
• value your physical and mental health
• value good personal and professional relationships
• want to find more engagement and enjoyment
• appreciate a slower pace
• value authentic connection to others
• want to make a genuine contribution to the world

If this sounds like you, I can help. Click here to find out how this works.
Or
Subscribe to read more.

Answer: Creating connecting transition text is just finding what you might naturally say. So, for instance, after the scenarios, if you were explaining these in person to a friend, what would you say next? “If any of those scenarios sounded familiar, I can help. My clients tend to find themselves:” and then go into the list of demographics.

After the demographics, “The ones who get the most from working with me tend to hold these values:”

The Full Question: These are just supposed to call up a recognition in the reader right?Draft:

As someone struggling with long-term health concerns, do any of these sound familiar to you?

1. Your body constantly struggles. Symptoms pop up and don’t seem to really go away. You feel like your body is this other thing that you’re always trying to appease. Even when you work hard to take care of yourself, your body tends to complain.

2. You aren’t sure what to do to get lasting relief. You’ve tried any number of things from pharmaceuticals to physical therapy but you still don’t feel your best and aren’t sure what to do.

3. You don’t like how your mind works. You can cope with stress on a day-to-day basis, but when things get tough, you slip back into old thought patterns and feel like your habits are holding you back. It’s a struggle to stay focused, and you’re easily overwhelmed.

4. You tend to be tired and you feel like your health is holding you back. You know that your body isn’t working as well as it could. You tend to feel drained and you want to have enough energy for the things and people you love.

5. Or maybe your health is “ok” but you’re unsure about where your health is headed. You take pretty good care of yourself but you feel like old injuries or aches and pains are starting to edge in on your everyday life and stick around. You want to take better care of yourself but you aren’t sure where to start.

I’ve helped people who:
-have an illness they have been struggling with for years on end
-may or may not have a diagnosis but know that they don’t feel as good as they could & want to feel better

People who most benefit from this approach:

-are ready to take a look at how their habits, patterns, and beliefs are contributing to their health
-want to participate in their own healing process
-are willing to consider making small changes to move them towards their goals
-want to explore what health looks like for them

Answer: I don’t think they are too abstract at all- they read well, and are strong. Except #3. I don’t know if folks will resonate with “You don’t like how your mind works.” It’s a fairly advanced state of recognition to notice that thoughts have their own existence. I think you can describe that without the more advanced awareness that the description calls for.

And yes, the scenarios are just meant to echo a recognition in the readers.

The Full Question: I included number five to include people who aren’t totally “sick” yet but know they are headed that way and want to do something about it. (Numbers 1-4 focus on people who are already struggling with illness.)As someone struggling with long-term health concerns, do any of these sound familiar to you?

1. Your body constantly struggles. Symptoms pop up and don’t seem to really go away. You feel like your body is this other thing that you’re always trying to appease. Even when you work hard to take care of yourself, your body tends to complain.

2. You aren’t sure what to do to get lasting relief. You’ve tried any number of things from pharmaceuticals to physical therapy but you still don’t feel your best.

3. You don’t like how your mind works. You can cope with stress on a day-to-day basis, but when things get tough, you slip back into old thought patterns and feel like your habits are holding you back. It’s a struggle to stay focused, and you’re easily overwhelmed.

4. You tend to be tired and you feel like your health is holding you back. You know that your body isn’t working as well as it could. You tend to feel drained and you want to have enough energy for the things and people you love.

5. Or maybe your health is “ok” but you’re unsure about where your health is headed. You take pretty good care of yourself but you feel like old injuries or aches and pains are starting to edge in on your everyday life and stick around. You want to take better care of yourself but you aren’t sure where to start.

Answer: I don’t think it’s a distraction, and it does, for me, fit in with the rest. However, here’s what I’d do.

Make sure the first sentence of each scenario is bolded, so people can scan through them without having to read each one.

Then, for the 5th scenario, remove the word “Or”, and then move it into the 2nd or 3rd position. It may be that someone in that situation won’t get to the 5th scenario after scanning 4 more chronic descriptions.

Finally, at the top, where it says “As someone struggling with long-term health concerns, do any of these sound familiar to you?” Change it to, “As someone concerned with your long-term health, do any of these sound familiar to you?”

Those tweaks should help it fit in and be seen more easily.

Nice job!

The Full Question: I found myself resisting using the second person in the sloppy draft of the “Is This You?” page. Somehow using names seems more compelling – partially because listing four distinct scenarios all using “you” seems confusing. Am I missing something?Draft:
Here are some real-life examples of recent tour guests:When it comes to Tequila, Dave is are “the man” in his group of friends. He host Tequila dinners frequently, and is more knowledgeable than most. He knew it was time to make the pilgrimage, but didn’t want to waste his time with something cheesy, canned or less than serious.From what he’d seen online, Jeff was younger than the average Tequila fan. He’s at the beginning of his career, not the end, and doesn’t make a lot of money. He wondered if he could really afford a vacation like this, even as much as he wanted it.Monica’s partner Pam is the true Tequila nut in the family. Pam had a big birthday coming up, and Monica wanted to treat Pam to a special vacation. Monica was concerned that their sexual identity would be a problem for them or others in Mexico.Carl is a very busy professional with a lot of work responsibilities. At this point in his life, he has more money than time (and that’s both a blessing and a curse!). he was willing to spend what it takes to have everything taken care of, and not have to get involved in the details of planning a tour.Since 2008, we have hosted hundreds of guests in Tequila Country, including
*Couples, individuals and groups of friends
*Men and women
*People past retirement age to those in their mid-20s
*Americans, Canadians, Brits, Australians, South Africans and people from the entire English- speaking world
*People with less than ten bottles of Tequila at home, to those with a collection of hundreds.
*First time Mexico visitors and those who’ve visited annually for years.As different as many of our guests are, they tend to share certain characteristics, Namely:
*They love Tequila! It’s something they take seriously
*Appreciate a balance between fun and serious education
*They respect the hard work of others
*They are curious about the world and how things are made
Answer: First of all, I want to celebrate the page you wrote. I think it’s very strong. The disjointed feeling is because it’s just missing some transition language between the sections. A sentence or two, such as “If any of those scenarios sounds even a little bit like you, you’ll fit right in. There are many kinds of people who join our tours.” Then go into the “Since 2008…”Also, add transition language between the 2nd and 3rd elements.You know, I might urge you to write the scenerios in the second person. You can use the exact same scenarios you’ve written just write them using “you.” And… I think your scenarios work as-is. If you feel called to try it out as an experiment, you can see which one feels stronger, or even ask others how they react. But, reading your scenarios as-is, I really like them. So if you’re already over-busy, hey, I think you’re there.

The Full Question: I feel the new vignettes more accurately portray my ideal clients…but am concerned they’re confusing or unclear. I’m using wording that makes total sense to me…but feel too close to what I’m trying to say to discern whether it’s clear to others looking in. I’d welcome feedback on this.I also have concerns over whether the new vignettes are too wordy.

And…wondering whether it’s okay that I repeat some lines that are on the homepage (though they aren’t prominent there). Okay to leave them both places?

And…wondering about the “we’ve helped people who” bit. Does it seem to fit okay with the rest of the page? It’s fairly similar to my previous version, which was based on my previous CFS…and yet, the demographics still feel accurate.

Here’s the url:
http://alchemisteating.com/is-this-you/

Answer: I wonder why you feel the vignettes are unclear or confusing. They seem clear to me. Repetition is good, as long as it’s just a few lines here and there. And yup, “we help people who” continues to seem clear and in alignment with the vignettes. Great job!

The Full Question: Do you think I should leave out the scenarios, or choose a few and elaborate on them, or include them all? Which scenarios do you think are strongest or have the most potential?
Demographics:
1. Women who are trying to conceive, either naturally or with the help of modern medicine and assisted reproductive techniques.
2. Women and men who are dealing with secondary infertility. (already have at least one child and are having difficulty conceiving.)
3. Women struggling with recurring pregnancy loss.
4. Men facing male fertility issues.
5. Pregnant women seeking relief from common pregnancy complaints such as morning sickness, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep difficulties, mood changes, digestive complaints, physical discomfort, breech presentation, among others.
6. Pregnant women interested in general pregnancy support/well pregnancy care.
7. Women facing a medical induction who would like to explore other ways to encourage the onset of labor.
8. New moms dealing with postpartum issues such as insomnia, postpartum depression or anxiety, low milk supply, mastitis, elimination issues, or moms seeking healing from labor and delivery, or sustaining the energy and stamina to care for yourself and your child.
9. Women experiencing irregular menstrual cycles, painful periods, heavy periods, premenstrual syndrome, anovulation, endometriosis, PCOS or other hormonal imbalances.Mini scenarios:
1. You have ben trying to conceive and it’s just not working. You just cannot bare to hear about another friend or family member that is expecting. You wonder if there is something you could do that would increase your chances of getting pregnant.2. You always imagined that your child would have a sibling by now. As months pass by you start to wonder if that will ever happen.3. You are able to get pregnant but after multiple losses you’re not sure about trying to conceive again.4. You and your partner have been trying to conceive without success. You see her doing everything she can to fulfill your family’s dream of having a child and you’re wondering if there’s something you could be doing to support this process.5. You are pregnant and your want to do everything you can to help this pregnancy, labor, delivery and postpartum go well. Although you don’t have any significant problems or health concerns you want to take a preventative approach that offers the best possible health outcomes for mom and baby.6. You have been facing some challenges in your pregnancy. You may be suffering from morning sickness, gestational diabetes, high blood pressure, sleep difficulties, mood changes, digestive complaints, physical discomfort, breech presentation or other issues.7. You may be facing a medical induction and would like to explore other ways to encourage the onset of labor.8. You have a new baby and you are feeling exhausted and overwhelmed. Perhaps you are struggling with healing from labor and delivery, insomnia, postpartum depression or anxiety, low milk supply, elimination issues, or having enough energy and stamina to care for yourself and your child. You would like to be nurtured and supported with compassion and care and you would like to feel better so that you can enjoy this special time.Also, my values feel awkward and still need a lot of work. I love how simple and powerful the heart of business values are. Any insights would be appreciated.interest in learning about your health from a new perspective
desire to feel better overall
desire to be listened to with care and have your symptoms thoroughly examined, understood, and addressed
treated with respect and dignity
understood and treated as a whole person with an innate capacity for healing
sensitivity to your unique physical and emotional experience
Answer: I think your scenarios are clear, and each one is distinct. They are doing what they are supposed to be doing- making the individual situations clear. Nicely done!As for your values, you’re making them a little too specific. So, for instance, “interest in learning about your health from a new perspective” is kind of a throw-away that is a little too specific. A more general value that would be behind this statement would be, “Likes to learn and is open to new ideas.”The third one is a little too specific to the modality, and isn’t really a value. Same with the fourth one. See if you can identify the values that are underneath these statements and whether there is some overlap here.

The Full Question: Was there a template some place? Could you please give me any feedback on this Is This You Page please? Do things seem to be following the guidelines you set for us and do they seem correct to you?Also, on the Scenario part up at no. 1 Question – does the 5th one sound ok to you? I am a little confused between scenarios and my demographics and values. I have sort of put them, the demographics and values in the mini scenarios. Any feedback would be so greatly appreciated.

As someone who is wanting to heal from the distress from painful early childhood experiences, do any of these situations seem familiar?

1. You have just met a new partner that will help you accelerate your career to higher levels and you are excited and inspired at the new possibilities and then all of a sudden you freak out in panic because what looked like freedom, may turn into you being manipulated and controlled by someone who might know more than yourself and you fear losing everything.

2. You have fallen deeply for someone and you seem to have met the right one. Yet, you’re up in the middle of the night worrying that this could turn into another nightmare of a relationship and so you are afraid of opening up to your vulnerability and being vulnerable with this person.

3. You are about to exhibit a piece of work you have been working more than a year on, and just before you need to present it, you start to panic that it is crap/that it’s all of a sudden worthless and you imagine all sorts of negative scenarios and criticisms that make you freeze into not going public with it.

4. You are a healer and you work in the healing professions and you feel competent enough in helping others to heal the pain and the trauma of their childhoods, yet, there is still something missing in healing your own and this creates a disconnect and some guilt about your capabilities.

5. You are a middle aged deep creative person who is wanting to create change in the world through your love for beauty and the arts but when you get criticised, your childhood pain comes flooding back in and it paralyses and collapses you.

This approach works for:
1. Middle aged people who are in the wellness and the creative arts industry.
2. Middle aged people who are wanting to create change in the world – whether that being a dancer, being in the healing profession or in the world of the arts.
3. Middle aged men and women in the wellness and healthcare industry
4. Middle aged Holistic & Medical Practitioners
5. Middle aged Therapists & Counsellors
6. Middle aged Spiritual workers & Spiritual Healers

This approach works if you share the following values:

1. People who really care about bringing love, beauty, and harmony out in the world in order to uplift humanity.

2. People who are transforming the pain and the distress of their childhoods who deeply desire to be a guiding light in the lives of other’s.

3. For people who deeply value the connection between the sparkle of life and Divine Love and who long to be messengers of this love and light.

4. People who want to bring the transformation of having healed their deepest darkest pain into humanity in order to raise those who suffer into divine love and mercy.

5. People who are willing to walk the way of self-love and self-compassion and carry that love and compassion out into humanity.

You may be wondering how I am effective at what I do. If so, please have a look at ‘How It Works’.

Answer: Hmmm… I hear you about “wingiing it” and Chapter 5 in the Websites PDF walks you through the elements of the page, and the Is This You Q&A PDF shows you examples of Is This You pages with my comments on them. If you missed either or both of those, go back and have a look.

Your page overall feels strong and clear to me. In the values, you don’t need to repeat “middle aged people.” You may want to say, “This approach is for people with a certain amount of life experience who…” then go into your list of different values.

Your scenario 5 seems clear to me. In general, I like your scenarios. There are a few places where a little less specificity can make it more applicable. For instance, in #3 you say “more than a year on”- you may just want to say, “a long time on.” This way, people who are literal minded won’t exclude themselves if they’ve only worked on something for 3 months, or 6.

The Full Question: I think we’ll be a good fit for each other if:You want to be vibrantly alive, but right now your frustrated about something that’s not working right in your body and is getting in your way.

Is this you?

It’s a sunny spring day and you’re weeding your garden. You notice your low back has a burning, irritating feeling that’s been there for about the last 45 minutes.

You’re on the first day of a five day backpacking trip and after about 6 miles you start getting a sharp pain in your hip with each step. You’d forgotten you had that pain until now.

You fell and landed on your side, now you have trouble lifting your arm without pain and it hasn’t gone away yet.

You reached down to pick up a feather and your whole back just seized up. You felt like you could barely breathe. It hurts so much it’s been making you snap at your kids.

Lots of people take good care of themselves, but still need some help figuring out what the best way to take care of themselves actually is. If you use your body a lot you’re going to have some pain from time to time. That’s okay, but we don’t want you to stay in pain. It would get in the way of living life, loving people and contributing what only you can contribute to a world that needs you.

Who do I help?

I help people who love outdoor recreation, backpackers, skiers, cyclists.

I help people who love their active rural lifestyles and all the “chores” that go with that, gardening, getting firewood, taking care of the animals and all the many parts of living out in the beautiful part of the world.

I help laborers and people that have physically demanding jobs.

What are the values within my practice?

Gratitude. Life is a wonderful gift to be embraced. To get the most out of life we need health and freedom from pain.

Appreciation. You are important to the world and to your community. You will be better able to give your unique gifts to the world if you are freed from pain and limitation.

Learning. Curiosity and exploration of your body are necessary to overcome limitations.

Your body and mind are one integrated whole that cannot be approached separately, I work from a physical perspective, but I honor all of you. It’s all one piece.

Answer: A strong page- having just moved to the country myself, I really resonated with your mini-scenarios. What’s missing in your page are the “next steps”- directing them where to go next. “If this resonates with you, click here and sign up for my newsletter. If you’re not ready for that, you may be wondering how my work is effective.” With a link to the How It Works page.

Great job!

The Full Question: Originally, I just had it in list format of 50 items, now I’ve organized it in a category format of 6-8 items with all the corresponding items in paragraph form which I like better and feels less overwhelming. Previously, I’ve talked about “conditions that acupuncture can treat or help according to the world health organization” with a list of 20-100 conditions. I don’t want to do that anymore – too impersonal. This feels different – these are things I have seen come through my office in the past 12 years – not necessarily cured, but I’m familiar with, I’ve seen, I recognize, I’ve worked with. Your suggestion that it might belong on the Is This You page might make sense, it is a form of calling someone’s name, but it’s such a different energy from the current language on that page. Perhaps it could go at the bottom with a transition phrase: “No matter what you are dealing with, there are resources available for you.”Currently it’s sort of a part 3 section in the About Me page. For context: https://deeprootssandbox.wordpress.com/about-lucy/

“Since 2004, I have worked with people seeking help with

– General Well-Being: general health, insomnia, fatigue, asthma, allergies, hypertension, immune system, weight management, edema, atrial fibrilation, congestive heart failure, prolapse
– Emotional Well-Being: depression, anxiety, grief, stress, addiction, trauma recovery, eating disorders
– Women’s Health: PMS, menstrual health, prenatal and postnatal care, labor induction, morning sickness, menopausal symptoms, hot flashes, night sweats
– Physical Pain: general aches and pains, migraines, arthritis, low back, hip, shoulder, knee, elbows, ankles, wrists, sports injuries, surgery prep and recovery, muscle tension, trigger finger, numbness
– Digestive Health: indigestion, heartburn, IBS
– Mental Well-Being: mental clarity, memory loss, head injury, foggy-brained
– Chronic Illness: Lyme Disease, diabetes, fibromyalgia, migraines, chronic fatigue, Eppstein-Barr, effects of chemotherapy
– and more…”

Answer: I like this much better. The organization makes it much easier to read. And yes, definitely on the Is This You page, because this list isn’t about you, it’s about your patients.

For the complete list of what acupuncture can treat, maybe it doesn’t need to be included at all? You have quite a comprehensive list there. Is there anything missing from your list that you would want to see included?

The Full Question: It does include natural, organic growers and artists. Could I be very clear and give a long list? For example: We work with a broad variety of businesses. These include; small to large businesses, not for profits, holistic practitioners, organic/natural food growers, natural food restaurants, artists, counsellors, authors . . .
Answer: Yes, you can absolutely create a longer list, if it’s appropriate. What might be helpful for the reader is to create categories. For instance:
We work with folks in food production and service, including organic/natural food growers, natural food restaurants, personal chefs.
– With creatives, including artists, authors, and performers
etc…By creating categories, it makes it easier to read through a longer list.

The Full Question: Is This You?(first, 2 preliminary questions: 1) Is it ok to use “you” even though I’m selling to an organization? It’s not that I don’t think it works, but it somehow feels informal or unprofessional—like, “hey, you” and 2) at the bottom of my home page I included a definition of “advocacy” because it felt important to just clarify that up front somewhere so that for ease of communication I could refer to it later without having to worry whether they understand what I’m talking about. Does that work?

Ok here is the text:
Is your nonprofit experiencing any of these challenges as it struggles to have more impact and effectiveness?

• A persistent feeling there is more you can be doing for your clients but a lack of clarity on how to do so or a sense of overwhelm that to do “more” requires you and your staff to work even harder?
• Expertise on an issue that your clients or constituents struggle with that could help inform public decision makers entrusted with allocating resources or making laws impacting this area, but uncertainty over how to have your voice heard most effectively?
• Clarity that you will never be able to do enough for your clients or constituents through your programs or direct services alone because some of the problems facing them are bigger than what your organization can tackle on its own?
• Awareness that you should probably be working with other organizations to address some of these larger issues but a little bit of fear and some overwhelm at how to navigate one more set of relationships, particularly ones that may require you to work with new and larger organizations more comfortable working in the public eye?
• A committed but risk adverse board afraid of being more publicly visible and outspoken on issues at the core of your mission?
• An interest in contributing to impacting the larger issues facing your clients, but limited resources for taking on any type of new strategy or initiative?

Our approach works for you and your organization if:
• You want to learn more about advocacy.
• Your nonprofit may focus on direct service and recognize you could have more impact if you added advocacy as a strategy or were more comfortable with advocacy.
• You are perceived as a leader in your community and often hear or sense your colleague organizations would like you to be more publicly engaged on the wider policy issues impacting the clients you serve.
• You or your organization have had brief or intermittent experience with advocacy but are looking to make a bigger commitment so that this time it “sticks” and really takes root in your organization.
• Your organization just completed strategic planning and decided to focus on advocacy and now are wondering—how do we do that?
• You are part of a national organization that would like some consistency on how staff approaches advocacy.
• You are looking for professional development/leadership opportunities for yourself or to offer your staff
•

You or your organization will benefit the most if:
• You are deeply committed to fulfilling your organization’s mission in the most impactful way possible understanding advocacy takes time to yield results.
• You are committed to advocacy as a value and are in a position to influence others to commit to that value.
• You see yourself as a leader in your community able to make a positive difference for those you serve.
• You care deeply about issues or events impacting your clients that currently feel outside of your control or larger than anything you can impact
• You are willing and open to learning new approaches even if it means you may risk offending someone or some organization if its benefits your clients or advances your mission.

Click here to get our free e-book “10 Essential Qualities of High Impact Nonprofits”

And you may be wondering about our approach, how we really work with clients. Click here (link to How it Works page)

Answer: Your scenarios are mostly strong. The second one that begins with “Expertise” doesn’t quite make sense grammatically. “Has expertise…”? Also, lower down, “risk averse” rather than “risk adverse.” Small nits.

One challenge with using the word advocacy is that you aren’t necessarily certain someone read the home page first. They may have come to this page first. Also, in the values, the third one is so clear without using the word advocacy.

While the scenarios are so clear, the other sections have many statements where you’re basically saying, “You want to learn about advocacy.”

I remain skeptical that organizations can name that need or would relate to it as you’ve stated it, and that some may not even know what you mean. I would challenge you to go through this entire element and write it without saying “advocacy” once. After you’ve done that, I think there’s probably a place for one or two statements about wanting/needing to learn about advocacy, but I want to see you write it without first.

Will you take this challenge? 🙂

Full Question: Here’s my How It works draft:
The way I work with you one on one can get you much deeper results than what you may have already tried because:I can see what is going on in your energy field, and all levels of your life from physical to spiritual are playing out in this field of consciousness.I can help you to connect with what I am seeing so you can become aware of how you experience it by connecting what I see with what you feel.I can guide you to shift the distorted energy patterns-often by surfacing unresolved issues, or moving unfelt emotions, which transforms the energy.I can guide you into deeper re-Sourcing with your divine inside and out.I then work directly on your energy field while you rest on the massage table, to clear, charge, balance, repair, nourish and re-train your energy on each of the 7 levels which contain all aspects of your consciousness related to all areas of your life and health.

Answer: I recommend, actually, not writing your How It Works page in this way because it comes across as too “sell-y.” Make sure you do listen to the audio and read the page on How It Works, because it feels like you caught some of the essence of the page- there’s a lot here that’s usable, and missed the overall tone of what’s intended.By listing what’s needed, How It Works, in a way that they can own without it being tied to you, allows them to enter into your world more easily.The thing is, this page may actually be effective, and I’d love for you to try as an approach is something like:
“To access the healing you are yearning for, you need to:
– See what’s going on in your energy field and how the levels of your life, from physical to spiritual, are playing out in this field of consciousness
– Connect this understanding of your energy field with your every day feelings and experiences, so you know better how to navigate what’s happening and be more easily able to choose health
– Shift distorted energy patterns, often by surfacing unresolved issues, moving unfelt emotions, which really transforms your energy
– Re-source your Divine connection, so it’s more easily accessible to you
– All of this supports and is added to with clearing, charging, balancing, nourishing and re-training your energy on each of 7 levels.It sounds like a lot, doesn’t it? Some people can do this for themselves. Others can learn to do much of this for themselves, but need to work with a guide who can easily see and work with these unseen energies, helping you recognize them for yourself. And it’s just wonderful to have someone support you in this, and do some of it for you, since you’re probably worn out from the struggle you’ve been in.”I got carried away and drafted this for you- but do you see how, by using your own language, but just taking the “I” out, it makes it more accessible to the reader?

Full Question: Despite your best efforts, the reason you might not have gotten results is that you can get caught up in a kind of inner debate. There’s the part of you that wants change, and the part of you that feels so overwhelmed. Then, there’s the part of you that’s always criticizing you no matter what you do! Then there’s the list of “shoulds” you can’t seem to implement, even though you know they all would be good for you. It’s hard to feel good about yourself and make change when there’s this constant inner conflict and one side never seems to prevail.Feeling good about yourself and making positive change in your life needs five kinds of support.
First, you need company on your journey. Probably there’s a being in your life from whom you’ve received an accepting, kind, caring presence, in whose presence you feel good about yourself. This is the kind of company you need, either from yourself or another.
In addition, the warmth and care of that company is also key, because care creates safe space where you can be open to seeing things in a new way.
This new way is in you, but you’re not in touch with it yet. All you can hear is the inner conflict. The way out is like a new shoot wanting to burst forth. But it’s not yet visible, only sensed, and only faintly. Sometimes the inner conflict obscures it. It needs to have company and care so it can sprout.
However, because it is so new and barely visible, when it comes, it’s easy to miss, especially when you’re overwhelmed. You need a mirror or a magnifying glass, something to show it to you so you can notice it when it happens.
The, once you see it, you need to protect and nourish it, so it can grow into natural, inspired action and a new reality.
If this resonates with you, why not subscribe to my newsletter for a monthly infusion of love and inspiration to help you feel good about yourself and foster positive change.
Link: I forget what the link is here and I can’t find it in my notes

Answer: Okay, the first part hangs together- although that first paragraph is a little long- good to break it up for readability.
As for the five elements, it’s a little confusing how you’ve placed them, although they do make sense, with some thought. I would start each paragraph with what it is- and a bullet point. Make it as clear as you can.
There are five things that really help you in this journey:
1. Warmth and caring – explanation
2. Magnifying glass – explanation
3. Protection- explain what protection is
4. Nourishiment- explain what nourishment is
5. Companionship- you may want to explain what it means to get companionship from yourself- it’s not entirely clear how you’re describing it, although I can guess you mean spiritual, internal access to a “being.”
I listed companionship last, because it can feel sales-y to start off with it. I think you’ve got a lot of good stuff here you can use, just some edits, and clarifying the elements into a format that’s a little easier to identify.

The Full Question: Draft of How It Works Page:
HOW IT WORKS:You most likely have tried a number of different ways to move out of the sense of overwhelm you are experiencing, and you may have felt occasional relief, but are still experiencing that sense of being out of control. The reason you may not have gotten lasting results is that the “usual” ways of handling overwhelm focus on just one aspect of who you are. In order for lasting change to happen, there is a need to look at all of you – emotionally, spiritually and physically.My approach to working with women in moving from overwhelm into a place of relief, is dependent on following a few key principles:1: Understanding your true nature – You have a natural way of “being” in this world. In order to feel truly healthy, it is helpful to understand how you have moved away from that natural state – your true nature. Understanding what your true nature is, having a desire to reunite with that natural state, and setting an intention to change your habits and patterns to support that shift is what will help you feel like yourself again.2: Alignment with internal wisdom – We all have the voice inside of us. It is the voice that tells us things like “don’t eat that piece of chocolate cake at 2:00 am”. Sometimes we listen. Sometimes we don’t. What is necessary for our health is to learn how to hear that voice, to make an intentional choice to listen and to be aware of the fact that when we do listen, we feel better.3: Empowerment – When we understand and apply the first two principles a really beautiful thing happens. We feel empowered to make change in our lives that contributes to us feeling better, being healthier and being able to enjoy life. That empowerment gives us the opportunity to take control, and that simple fact can shift the deepest sense of overwhelm to a place of “I got this!”4: Sustainability – Continuing to feel in control and the ability to carry that sense of relief around with us like a good friend, depends on being to sustain the changes that you make and the awareness that you develop. Nothing ever stays the same, but riding a tiny wave of change is much easier than hanging on in a tidal wave. When you make this process sustainable over time, you learn to easily adapt to the external things you can’t control, by turning within and guiding yourself from there.If this approach feels like one you want to explore further, you may begin by downloading our free e-book 5 Ways to Shift from Overwhelm to Relief.If you want to know a bit more about me, click on my About Me page.

Answer: Well-written and strong! The principles are clear, and you’ve given us just enough to understand, without going into what I might consider too much detail. I like the page and don’t have any substantial changes to add. Woo-hoo!

The Full Question: I’m feeling a little confused on the How It Works page. I have brought in my CFS element 3 and 4 as a starting point, because I’m not sure where to go from here. I see the example in the book says “body mechanics” “your emotional game” and “fun” Are we supposed to pick something like that for each principle? I am wondering if I missed something. Would love your thoughts in general too.
Draft begins: What has been missing is a way of bringing the body into the therapeutic process, which is so important because your body holds much of what happened to you, and changing things purely on a mental or emotional level won’t change things completely.Real lasting change is based on these five principles:
1. There is a sacredness needed to support our ability to connect with our heart, with the tender places of our experience, so that we can open and grow in new ways and invite a loving acceptance of what is.
2. There is wisdom and capacity to heal in the body, and we need to slow down and allow time for integration, in order to experience it.
3. There is an organic rhythm we see in nature, an expansion and contraction, that allows us to move and flow with experience. It supports aliveness, vitality, and a sense of being able to “handle” our experiences. We have this same rhythm inside of us.
4. Trauma is stored in the body, it is not in the event itself. We cannot change the story of the event that happened, but we can change our mental, emotional, and energetic experience of the event by working with the body. When we feel empowered and understood at the level of the body, we open up to our capacity for change on all levels of our experience
5. We each have an innate desire for love and connection. When something is missing in our environment as children, we develop strategies at the body level to protect ourselves, and we behave in ways that support those strategies, in hopes of keeping love and connection.

Answer: Yes, using elements 2,3 and 4 of your CFS as a jumping-off place for your How It Works page often can be very helpful.Here’s three “keys to healing” that stood out for me from the 5 principles you named above:* Understanding trauma and healing* Using your body’s own wisdom to heal* Practice, patience, compassion and support.

The Full Question: How It Works In order to break the cycle of addiction and create changes that are going to last, you need to understand the 3 Alchemist Recovery Principles:
1.Addiction is a Cycle
Addiction is a vicious cycle that feeds off of itself. It cements itself into place by providing results that validate and reinforce the origins of the problem. Recognizing this simple fact allows you to begin to see how everything within the entire addiction is related to, and dependent upon, each other. From this perspective, you can more accurately evaluate how to treat it so that you can begin to dismantle the whole thing.
2. Addiction affects every aspect of a person: mental, spiritual, emotional & physical.
You are going to have a preference about which one of these areas holds the greatest, and least, attraction for you. One size does not fit all; your personal belief system, along with your unique situation, are integral parts of the healing process that must be recognized, respected and honoured for lasting healing to occur.
3. Addiction affects and is intertwined with every intimate relationship in the addict’s life.
Relationships are not just a model unto themselves, rather they fit into their part of the entire cycle. The dynamics of a relationship, the dance of how you exchange emotion and energy with those closest to you, are reflective of and dependent upon every other aspect of the addiction.
If you apply only one or two of these Principles, it’s going to be hard to break the cycle.
But when you integrate all of this information together, an addiction is addressed on all fronts. It begins to dismantle; things get easier, and life can become rewarding, meaningful and productive once again.

Answer: I can, and will, and I just want to point out that it is much more helpful to me and to your own learning process if you can take the time to let me know what you like, what you don’t like, and where you have questions, issues or niggles about what you’ve written.
The first principle reads well. You might want to add in that this explains why working on just one, or two, or even three aspects may not be effective, because the remaining aspects of the system just recreate the whole pattern.
The second principle is a little confusing to someone who doesn’t understand the language. When you say “you are going to have a preference” it’s not clear to me exactly what you mean, and why it’s important for me to know that. So you’ll want to be a bit more clear here.
The third principle seems clear to me, and you may want to add in that this can be a very challenging and frustrating reality to face, because the very relationships that you depend on can actually be helping to create the addiction, and changing them is challenging.
Good work overall!

The Full Question: url: http://alchemisteating.com/how-we-work/HOW WE WORKOUR APPROACH COMBINES 4 ELEMENTS FOR POWERFUL—ALCHEMICAL—OUTCOMES:
Holistic medicine. Using the art and science of Chinese Medicine, we treat your whole body-mind—and don’t reduce you to one symptom or body part.
Functional medicine. We’re not here just to “medicate” your symptoms. We’re interested in getting to the root of the problem and figuring out solutions that work for you, as an individual.
Primal principles. This includes healthy eating but is more than a set of “food rules.” It also encompasses lifestyle patterns that help us thrive.
Healing partnership. Going it alone when you’re struggling with food and eating can be really, really hard. As part of a healing partnership, we’re in this together. At Alchemist Eating, we celebrate this connection and move from a place of mindfulness, compassion, abundance…and even fun.
We’d love to send you more helpful information about food and eating, so let’s get you started with our free newsletter. Sign up at the top of this page.
With subscription, you’ll also receive our Free Guide to Overcoming Sugar Addiction.
Want to learn more about Dr. Dana Leigh Lyons? Go here.
Note on the above—and additional How It Works page question: What I did NOT include after much internal debate was this additional set of principles from my CFS. These principles are very much at the core of my practice too, and I think they show up in the 4 elements on my new How We Work page. I went with those 4 elements because when you asked, in the audio, who could talk about their CFS principles without looking, these are what first came to me (though i also use the principles below all the time in conversations at clinic, writings, etc.). Should I have done more to include them on the How We Work page? Here they are:
Principles:
1- The body, mind and spirit make up a holistic, interconnected system. When there is balance in that system, wellness results.
2- Finding balance is a process. Our eating patterns are a core component of this process and manifesting a healthier, more complete version of ourselves.
3- There is no one best diet for all people (or even for one person at all times). The optimal eating pattern is individual, responsive and relational.
4- The primal diet offers a powerful starting point for finding one’s optimal eating pattern. Placing primal principles within the context of Chinese Medicine food therapy provides a guide for crafting an individual eating plan and continuously adjusting that plan to align with shifting needs and circumstances.
5- Eating is more than just eating, and food is more than just food. It is very wrapped up in our history, our identity, our social context and our beliefs. Changing eating patterns requires self-experimentation and mindful, focused exploration. It is a learning process that extends beyond what’s on our plate.

Answer: Same answer as the one above- that it would be helpful for me to know how you feel about the draft, what you like, and what you don’t, and why, and what niggles you have. It’s important for your own learning as well as helps direct my feedback.
Personally, I find the principles in your CFS more compelling than the 4 principles you list in the How it Works page- although I can find the CFS principles in what you’ve written above, I don’t think they are as explicit.
Part of what makes the CFS more compelling is that you name the principles in a non-proprietary way- which means the reader can own them and really understand them. The 4 principles you list don’t help me understand the system as much and are harder for me to “own” as mine.
I would put those 5 principles in place of the 4 you’ve written, and I think it will be much more powerful.

The Full Question: In this How It Works Page I strived for simplicity and edited a lot to get this. I wonder if it feels complete and accessible to you? Also what direction would you guide me to pay attention too for improvement given your understanding of its function?

Draft begins:
I work over the phone or skype in hour long sessions. During this time I share my deep appreciation for sacred space and base my work on one central spiritual principle:
Ask and I will respond. (or if this is too jargonish: When we can accept being needy and turn this neediness toward something greater, there is always a response to help.)

Comment:
It feels like it may be missing a kind of “introductory”, start-at-the-beginning feel, e.g.:

Over the years I have discovered that the most simple wisdom, when really practiced, can lead to the most powerful transformations.
My work is based on one central spiritual principle: Ask and I will respond. When we can accept being needy and turn this neediness toward something greater, there is always a response to help.

Draft continues:
To accomplish this I:
– listen with the heart to the struggle
– use tools of imagination, movement, and body awareness
– travel underneath the mind into prayer
– slow down, identify and validate insights that surface from the sacred and embrace the response
– with gratitude, open into new actions based on deeper inner guidance

Comment:
To really experience this, you need to be able to:

– listen with the heart to (your own inner?) struggle
– use tools of imagination, movement, and body awareness
– travel underneath the mind into prayer
– slow down, identify and validate insights that surface from the sacred and embrace the response
– with gratitude, open into new actions based on deeper inner guidance

I can help you. I work in hour-long sessions over phone or Skype creating a sacred space to support you …. (insert the benefit / outcome they are seeking here, perhaps from your Compelling Sentence – e.g., to bring greater ease, healing and understanding to your unique crossroads.)

The Full Question: Well, thank goodness for the examples that I was able to copy from. I was able to take pieces from the Q & A and from what I heard on the audio which really helped.Draft of How It Works:
My approach to helping you move through your past childhood pain and the destructive patterns works consistently and effectively because my process moves you beyond the traditional therapeutic approaches and takes years off the healing process with these 4 fundamental elements.- Taking Full Responsibility for Your Healing – Helps put you in the driver’s seat of your own healing so that you recognise that you are no longer helpless and that you are truly capable of creating a new destiny for yourself no matter what you have been through and where you come from.- Untangling the Negative Limiting Beliefs About Yourself – The unconscious mind holds a core energetic frequency has created your negative limiting beliefs and core programming – the central axis from which you have been experiencing your life up until now. Working on eliminating and restructuring the core negative and limiting beliefs will allow you to shift your psycho-neuro-emotional frequency creating profound change.- Healing Dysfunctional Family Dynamics – The experience you have had early in life within the family dynamic also carries a frequency, a vibration that you have now integrated within your own energy system and mirrors how you think, perceive and treat yourself – in loving or unloving ways.
When you come into the truth about your family dynamics, and you gain a deeper awareness about the need to blame and sabotage yourself, you accelerate your healing process through recovering the truth about yourself and your beautiful core Essence.- Sacred Communing with Source – Learning how to open and receive your core Essence as a sacred part of who you are, is a major step in the healing process. Being willing to open to your own sacredness and commune with Source of Love, the Source of all Existence, is what brings in the truth and creates the safety and spiritual nourishment that is needed to heal those parts of you that still feel the shattering and the wounding.If you focus on only one or two to the exclusion of the other two, you will find yourself cycling again from therapy to therapy in frustration trying to fix yourself. And, because you have been there, you know how frustrating and disappointing that is.But, when you bring these four fundamental elements together in synergy, you finally arrive at the results you have been longing for.If this makes sense to you, and more importantly, if you feel ready to take the next step, I would love to send you more helpful information such as my newsletter. You may sign up here so I can support you on your journey. ADD LINK
If, though, you are still not sure if this is for you, please click here and you will be sent to my ‘About Page’.
ADD LINK.
Answer: You’ve got all the elements there, and you’ve certainly explained them out. My feeling about the first element, about taking responsibliity, is that it could land badly with someone. The description itself is clear, but I’m wondering if you could title the principle something slightly different.Also, I don’t know if you need to say “moves you beyond traditional therapeutic approaches…” In general, even if you’ve acknowledged in a different place that traditional therapies haven’t been as effective as they had hoped, there is no reason to lean even slightly into what could be perceived as insulting other approaches.

The Full Question: I’m also wondering what you think about the headings. (And which is best for #4) I’m trying to decide whether to add another principle: specialized.  maybe that is not necessary and/or already obvious from the rest of our website material.Our approach at Fertile Ground is:

1.Holistic
Our care is focused on your whole emotional, physical, mental and spiritual being.  Because of this big picture approach your entire health (digestion, sleep, mood, energy, etc) should improve as we bring greater balance to your reproductive system.

2. Individualized
We make recommendations and develop a unique treatment strategy based on your individual concerns, your specific set of signs and symptoms and your overall health history.  Your treatments are formulated through a differential diagnosis process that takes into account a thorough understanding of your unique health picture, your constitution and where you are in your fertility cycle, your pregnancy or postpartum.

3. Integrated
Our treatments are easily integrated into the big picture/rest of your medical care.  We will incorporate your medical tests and diagnoses into a holistic framework, and combine our knowledge of modern and traditional reproductive medicine to offer you the option to participate in the best of both worlds.

4. empowering
We have discovered that you get the best results if you have the opportunity to learn about your health from a new perspective and to develop a sense of the bigger picture of your healing as we work together.  This allows you to be a full partner in your healing process. With this knowledge in hand you will be nurtured, guided, and welcomed at every turn to tune in to what is true and right for you. You will come with your current questions and health concerns, and you will leave with the tools to take charge of your well being for a lifetime.

5.  comprehensive

We want this to be as easy for you as possible.  That’s why we have a team of practitioners to support you.  By offering yoga, classes, bodywork, acupuncture and Chinese medicine techniques we hope you will receive the breadth and depth that holistic reproductive care has to offer.

Answer: Okay, first of all this is well-written and clear. I like what you’ve done, and it’s clear you’ve gone with the “steps” approach, even though it’s not exactly steps. So, there’s nothing wrong with this.

The approach we teach that can be more powerful, is to list these principles without referencing yourself at all. So, for instance, with the principle “Holistic” instead of referencing the care you give and what you do, you would explain the principle in more encompassing, universal langauge, such as “The human body functions together, and how one part of you is doing affects all of your other parts. In order to attain full health, a holistic approach is needed, one that takes into account the emotional, physical, mental and spiritual being. The healthy and vitality of the reproductive system improves as the entire system comes into balance.”

See the difference there? You’re not asking them to agree with you, or buy into your care, but by stating the principle as a universal understanding of how the universe works, when they agree, then you and the potential patient are now inhabiting the same world.

See what you like. As I said, what you wrote can work perfectly well.

Your headings seems fine, as long as they are clear.

The Full Question: Here’s the draft for the step by step that I added following my three principles. My partner suggested I scrap this part, that ending with just the three principles was enough and this section got a little to technical and lost heart for her. Would love your thoughts.
So How Does it Really Work?
When you come in, we take some time to understand where you are currently, what you are experiencing, and what your hopes and goals are. Then we look a little more deeply into the story of you and how you came to be here where you are today. We look at your health history, we look at your everyday patterns and body function, and we look at how your day to day life affects your health.
This information, along with other assessment, diagnostic, and observations is pulled together like a big jigsaw puzzle in order to see things from a new perspective. New patterns become visible, and new solutions become possible.
A treatment plan is then pulled together, with recommendations offered to meet your goals, customized to what you are dealing with.
Answer: I can see why you would want this, but it’s true, it doesn’t go on this page. Where it goes is on your individual offer page. We offer a “Quick and Clean” approach to writing a sales page, that describes an offer, like individual sessions, and that’s where a description like this would go.At this point someone may or may not be contemplating coming in, and so it’s premature.

The Full Question: My approach is based on the following ideas:1)Making a commitment to care for yourself is a gift to the community you live in.

2) Our body-mind in a magnificently complex system. If we approach the problem with a sense that we know what’s needed to fix it, that limits our ability to see something new and learn. We must approach the problem with respect and humility if we hope to do any good.

3) Health is a process that’s always in motion and not an end point that can be arrived at. When you clarify your individual goals for health, which are related to your goals for life, then you have a real destination that you can move toward.

4)Having the ability to assess your concerns with a wide range of assessment techniques leads to a treatment that is relevant to your desired outcome and health goals. Without the ability to assess a condition well, treatment becomes almost random. In other words, it helps to know what tool to use and where to use it rather than just having a room full of tools and not knowing what they’re for.

5) Approaching your body with curiosity and wonder…and more than a little dab of playfulness helps turn pain into an opportunity to see what your body has to teach you right now.

6)Sometimes an established habit needs to change. Just because you’ve done a particular motion in a particular way for 20 or 50 years doesn’t mean you’ve chosen the most optimal way to perform the task. You just keep doing it that way because it’s familiar.

7)Meeting resistance with more force just generates more resistance, and it’s uncomfortable for the client. Meeting resistance with gentleness and translating ease into the body causes the body to open and melt.

8)In order to change you have to change.

9)Healing only happens in the present moment. So experiencing pure sensations and letting go of their associated stories about the past and the future, bring you into the moment where healing happens.

Answer: In general, I like it. You’re missing some transition text around it, as well as directing them on to what’s next, but I assume you just hadn’t gotten to that point, and wanted feedback on the principles.

The principles are great. I’m seeing some duplication. For instance, #2 and #5 seem very similar, and #6 seems related. I’m thinking you could comb through these and consolidate them a bit more. If there really are 9 principles, that’s what it is. But, given what I’m seeing, I think there are fewer core principles, and some of the conclusions have filled it out to 9.

The Full Question: What is it like to work with Debbie Flynn Photography?On this page I’ll tell you about my empowering approach to bringing out your true, authentic self in portraits.

When you work with me you can expect the final images to show your authenticity and passion because I focus on these three key areas:

1. Easily and caringly helping you to come from an inner place. Many photographers are interested in your outward appearance, which is part of making an image, and something you’re good at because you know how to look your best. Authentic photography is really about your inner self and being able to express your passion for your family, your business, your life.
2. Heart-centred connection to what you are passionate about. When you’re able to remember what you love and why, you light up in a way that’s reflected in your images. With curiousity, safety and gentleness you’re helped to remember.
3. Enjoyment. This is an opportunity for you to be able to share your passion and to enjoy and take in the sharing. to enjoy doing this. Me too!

If you are wanting to learn more about heart-centred business and who I am please click below.

Answer: The core of it is fine. The first sentence, “On this page…” could be much more conversational. Such as, “I bet you might be wondering how I could actually get a good picture from you, when maybe you freeze up in front of a camera? Or even if you don’t, maybe you’d like to see how I approach getting the best you?”

The principles you listed are good. I would put a little bit after the principles, something like: “When you bring out your inner self, let shine what you’re passionate about, and are actually having fun, then, boom, of course the photos show that!”

Good work!

The Full Question: Emotion and Quality of being. A by-product of my paintings that sets me apart from other artists is a level of emotion and a sense of “quality of being” that my paintings evoke. Customers continually express their appreciation for the joy, peace and vibrancy that my work manifests.QUESTION: Does the above principle read as a knowledgeable observation or is it going toward Woo woo?

Answer: Here’s what I want to say: you are making an assertion about your own work, that can bring up a sense of skepticism in the reader. I’d rather see you list the principles behind a piece of art, no matter who created it, that has an enduring effect on someone’s life.

Then this principle would be, “Emotion and quality of being. Art that affects people brings out emotion and a sense of quality of being in those who experience it. Joy, peace, and vibrancy can be found in art, and artwork that expresses this and elicits in people who experience the art, it can make an enduring difference in their lives.”

While this may not be how you would describe it, it’s just an example, do you see how I’ve de-personalized it? You aren’t in it at all, and so it’s more powerful. Your fifth element is where you would make statement about how you embrace these principles in your art, and that’s what people have come to know you for, etc.

The Full Question: My approach to painting with an emphasis on Color is based on a these four principles:
Color and composition in a painting, combined with dynamic and gentle rhythms greatly affect the quality of how a room feels.Color, thoughtfully and artfully crafted together, shapes a language, a collection of parts working and harmonizing and opposing one another. It is language developed through the relationships of color, informed by the theories of Josef Albers and Claude Monet. We are not talking about just a colorful painting.Your own authentic color preferences are the key to finding your heart in the painting. If you have a deep fondness for a particular color, you enjoy having it around you, and doing so, is nourishing.Emotion and Quality of Being can be a result of a painting that is created from out of the deep reaches of the innermost places of the artist. The viewer responds from their own innermost regions. Mark Rothko stated that for him painting was a religious experience.
– – – – – –
These are truly the principles of my work. Is any of it too lofty? Unbelievable? or what the heck is she saying?Answer: I think you absolutely have the basis of something here, and I also believe you need to change the language to make it more client-centered, so someone who is a lay person really gets what you are saying. And I think this also needs to shape the context.When you write: “My approach to painting with an emphasis on Color is based on a these four principles:” you don’t explain why it’s important to the client. Instead, I would recommend saying something like, “How a painting affects you and your living space, whether it’s nourishing or not, is dependent on these four principles:”You see the switch there, talking not about you, but about them and what they want.The first principle might be altered to be something more like, “Every object in a room affects how that room feels. A single, conscious expression of art can, through the colors and rhythm present, can greatly shift a room toward something more nourishing.”This shifts the emphasis on what you are doing, to how it affects them. These are totally off the cuff, but I would take it more from this angle, and I think you’ll have some very powerful principles that make total sense to the reader.

The Full Question: Our approach to helping you with advocacy is unique because we focus on 4 key elements:• Education: When it comes to advocacy there are so many fears, barriers and misperceptions that have been created. We believe it is important to first establish a solid foundation of understanding before you can begin creating your strategy. Without this often overlooked first step building the necessary internal support from your board and other staff is difficult. We can create customized approaches that work for your organization.

• Assessment. Advocacy is a broad terms that includes many different strategies. There is no “one size fits all” approach. Each organization is different in terms of where it is starting and ultimately what it wants to accomplish with advocacy. It’s important to have a clear view of your organization’s strengths and weaknesses before settling on the right strategy, otherwise success and sustainability will be hard to come by. Our comprehensive assessment provides you with rich information about how equipped your organization is in six specific dimensions important to advocacy.

• Planning. We help you build on the new knowledge and understanding you gain of both advocacy and your organization’s capacity to identify some goals and create a blueprint for how to build your organization’s advocacy capacity to achieve them. We take a holistic approach that helps you over time build a more effective advocacy organization. This is different from a lot of trainings that focus more narrowly on training individuals or specific advocacy tactics, like communication.

• Leadership Coaching. Advocacy is not just a set of tactics. It’s a values based approach to leadership. Organizations that adopt advocacy as a strategy are often seen as leaders both within their organization and outside.

To be successful in sustaining advocacy requires learning and adopting some new behaviors that may feel unfamiliar or uncomfortable at first. We can help guide you with advocacy implementation once your plan is in place. This could include working with your board and staff to understand their responsibilities as well as direct leadership coaching to you and any other front line advocacy staff as you navigate new terrain that may include working with coalitions, identifying allies and trusted partners and how to tell you advocacy story to funders.

If you focus on only 1 of these elements, it is hard to be successful with advocacy. You’ve probably been there. Frustration for you and your organization is bound to result.

When these 4 elements are brought together, your organization will be prepared to create transformative change with advocacy and to sustain the results.

If this resonates with you, start by signing up for our free e-book, “10 Essential Qualities of High Impact Nonprofits” (link to Sign Up Page)

If you’re still uncertain you may be holding on to some common misperceptions about what advocacy is and what it takes to be effective. Read here to find out what it really takes to be successful with advocacy (is this also a link to the sign up page above?)

Answer: This is strong and clear in it’s essentials. However, parts read like you are trying to sell me on your abilities, rather than just explaining what it takes for advocacy to be successful.

I think you’ve get the elements needed. Now, my recommendation is for you to go through and strip out any mention of you and what you do.

Start with something like, “For organizations to be successful with advocacy and impacting the community they are in at a wider level, there are four essential steps:”

Notice I didn’t mention anything about you and what you do? See if you can write it entirely without saying “we.”

Answer: You can just pull it. The CFS version are the basic elements- experience, training and passion- hopefully it’s more than a list of experience and contains the 3 elements I recommend.Then, the bio can be expanded depending on the context. In this context, on your website, you have some room to stretch out, and yes, I would make it more conversational/personable. In other instances, perhaps at the end of an article on someone else’s blog, you’ll want much shorter version.

Full Question: In Mark’s example at the end of the book he uses (3rd??) In our CFS we used first didn’t we? Now I have both above. Not sure my combo of serious and light works together.

Answer: It depends on the context. Some first person bios can work wonderfully, other times the third person feels better. For your web page, feel free to write in the first person if you like.

Full question: That’s also other people’s reactions.. I think that’s the truth of it, it is over the top. I don’t really know how I even did it, but I did. I don’t have a problem “bragging,” I don’t want to hide my accomplishments, and at the same time I worry that it’s so over the top people who haven’t met me will think it’s not true. I’m especially concerned because, although I am 50, it occurs weekly (so frequently that I feel uncomfortable about it) that people ask my age and are left with their mouths hanging open because they tell me that in their eyes I look 30-ish. This I’m not saying to brag about my looks but to say that it worries me as a legitimacy problem.All that said, here’s my bio. Given my concerns, what are your thoughts?
This slow, gentle, integrative and holistic approach supported me in recovering an abundant and joyful life from a history of trauma. Sharing it with others is how I embody my vision for bringing a more loving and peace-filled world into being. I live and practice this work because it is a channel for love and light to enter the world.
I began practicing yoga when I was 8 years old, following the exercises on Kareen’s Yoga TV program to recover from a month in bed, quarantined, with scarlet fever. I was certified as a Kripalu yoga teacher in 2000 and have extensive additional professional trainings in yoga and yoga therapy. I have a total of more than 900 hours of yoga education and continue my personal study and practice with a teacher from the lineage of T. Krishnamacharya, the father of modern yoga.
In 2004, I began a 8-year period of intensive practice and study in spirituality, personal growth and change processes. I have formal studies in Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Wicca, Paganism, Women’s Spirituality and Yoga. I am certified as a trainer in both Nonviolent Communication and Focusing (the third in the world to hold this dual certification), hold a Masters in Counselling and Spirituality, and am a Registered Yoga Teacher, Canadian Certified Counsellor and Registered Social Worker.
Since 2009, I have worked 1-to-1 in the field of psychotherapy and counselling. I have more than 2500 hours of 1-to-1 work with hundreds of clients in business settings and Employee Assistance Programs, publicly-funded agencies and private practice. I have specific experience and training supporting women and men who have lived through childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault.
As a teacher, I have been facilitating asana and philosophy classes and trainings in Nonviolent Communication and Focusing since 2006. I have taught and trained groups locally and internationally in corporate settings, yoga studios, for community groups and privately-organized workshops, as well as by invitation.

Answer: When you say other people tell you it’s over the top, can you be more clear? Meaning, have you heard it a couple of times, or are people always telling you it’s “over the top?” Or are they saying, “Wow, you have a lot of experience!” What are they actually saying?
My impression reading your bio is that it’s impressive, but doesn’t feel over-the-top. Anyone who has years of a experience in a field, and a dedication to mastery will have similar qualifications.
If it’s true, put it out there! I think it’s fantastic that you have this much training and experience, people should feel safe with you because of it.
And if people are reacting negatively to it, please share in a future assignment, what they actually said, and how often you’ve heard it.

Full Question: I didn’t want to reveal the details but at the same time I didn’t want it to sound dry. Also, I’m concerned about the length. a) How do or don’t you relate to the personal story, and do you have suggestions for making it more effective? b) Is it too long? What do you think should be eliminated, if anything?In 2001, I contracted a life-threatening illness. Although I recovered my physical health, my mental health was deeply affected, and a year-long personal crisis period followed. When the shit hit the fan, so to speak, I sort of woke up, and began therapy with a trauma-sensitive counsellor. That was the start of a 10-year period of intensive practice and study in personal growth, change processes and spirituality.
Today, I am gratefully living a personal and professional dream-come-true. I have recovered an abundant and joyful life from a history of trauma. I have a way to be with whatever emotions and memories my insides have to show me, and I can easily ask for and accept support when I need it. Sharing this way of “being with” what comes is how I embody my vision for bringing a more loving and peace-filled world into being.
My spiritual journey has been influenced by 12-step recovery, Buddhist psychology and earth-based practices, and I make my spiritual home in the Jewish community. Politically, I identify with the anarchist principles of freedom (non-coercion or nonviolence), equality, mutual aid and solidarity. (Check out this funny but valuable essay: Are You An Anarchist? The Answer May Surprise You.) I am an LGBTQQIAAP ally (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgendered, Queer, Questioning, Intersex, Asexual, Allies and Pansexual) and take a sex-positive approach to life. I believe we are all sexual and spiritual beings and attend to these two aspects when they are relevant to the counselling process. I am a feminist and see Person-Centred counselling, Focusing and Nonviolent Communication as anarchic and feminist, liberatory practices. Embodying inner and outer nonviolence-or love- on a daily basis is at the heart of my political action.
I nourish myself using all the modalities I teach and apply as a counsellor, including Focusing, TAT, self-empathy, meditation and yoga. I hold a Masters in Counselling and Spirituality, am certified as a trainer in both Nonviolent Communication and Focusing (the third in the world to hold this dual certification), and am a Canadian Certified Counsellor and Registered Social Worker. In addition, I am a certified Kripalu Yoga Teacher, with formal studies in Judaism, Christianity, Buddhism, Wicca, Paganism, and Women’s Spirituality.
Since 2009, I have worked 1-to-1 in the field of psychotherapy and counselling. I have thousands of hours of 1-to-1 work with hundreds of clients in business settings and employee assistance programs, publicly-funded agencies and private practice. I have specific experience and training in supporting women and men who have lived through childhood sexual abuse, domestic violence and sexual assault.
As a teacher, I have been facilitating classes and trainings in Nonviolent Communication, Focusing and yoga since 2000. I have taught classes and facilitated trainings locally and internationally, online and in person, in corporate settings, yoga studios, for community groups and in privately-organized workshops.
In the past I worked as a radio journalist and a translator. I love languages (French, Spanish and English are all I speak currently, although I have plans to master Hebrew and Yiddish one day), and I’m a real language geek; I actually read dictionaries and look up etymology for fun. I don’t watch TV much (although I have been watching The Young and the Restless for 36 years!) but I think the internet was created for the sole purpose of propagating cat videos. I love to laugh and wish for more opportunities to do so. I live on 13 acres of land in the Ottawa Valley with my beloved husband, who is a freelance translator and horse-lover. I am also mother to an adult daughter; my relationship with her and with my beloved husband have been crucibles of great learning.

Answer: I hear you about not wanting to reveal too much. I think there is some real good there, but I think I would reverse it. Meaning, I would start your bio with “Since 2009, I have worked 1-to-1…” going through to the end. Then, at the end, include “Here’s a more involved story of my own healing journey and how I came to this work.
“In 2001 I contracted…”
That reversal means that people don’t suddenly find themselves wading into the depths of your personal story, without the context and credibility of all the great work you’ve done with clients. Also, people who want the personal can get to it without too much waiting, and people who want the credibility get it immediately.
Remember to break up your paragraph lengths- long paragraphs are hard to read, especially on-screen.
Great work!

Answer: I hear you! We have quite a comprehensive program, and if you have a lot of other things going on in your life, it can be hard to take in the fullness here.
The two calls I recommend highly are:
– Weekly Action Calls- this helps you return to your heart, and to get additional support/coaching/connection/celebration. For Foundations2 these are on Tuesdays at 1pm pacific.
– Twice-monthly coaching calls. These calls are where we answer questions and give in-depth coaching on implementation with everything you are learning, and more. Check the schedule for when these are.
In addition, if it’s supportive to you, the weekly Remembrance call on Mondays can be incredibly helpful. It’s only 15 minutes, and can help provide breakthroughs and real connection in your heart in the context of your business.

Answer: Definitely on the About me page. You may include parts of your spiritual journey elsewhere as well. For instance, it might show up on a page where you describe an offer you are making, like a class or program, and explaining part of your spiritual journey may be helpful to the reader. But definitely, definitely on the About Me page.

The Full Question: Draft of About Me page:ABOUT ME:Who am I?I’ve been working with women and guiding them into feeling better and more in control of their health since 2004. I am a “seeker” and life-time learner who loves sharing the goodness I have learned with others so that they can use that knowledge to make changes in their own lives. I am a Licensed Massage Therapist, a Reiki Master (three times over), a Yoga Teacher, Certified Emotion Code Practitioner and Certified Aromatherapist. I have also studied Western Astrology for over 14 years, have earned my Ayurvedic Health Educator Certificate from the CA College of Ayurveda and studied at the Ayurvedic Natural Health Center in Goa, India.The tools that I have gained through these different (yet amazingly similar) modalities have helped me to understand myself more clearly, and through this understanding I have learned how to make changes in my life that help me to feel less worry, more wonder and a greater sense of happiness. I want to help other women become empowered to make changes that enable them to lead a life filled with joy.
My other passion in life includes being an advocate for animals, in particular horses. You can see the work I do by visiting the site of the Equine Rescue that I helped to co-found here: 3 Sisters Equine Rescue.
I am blessed to work and live in beautiful Bend, Oregon, sharing my life with 3 very large rescued dogs, 3 horses (actually, if you count the rescue, there are many more than that!) 12 chickens (only 5 of which lay eggs, the rest are in hospice) and 2 birds.
If you would like to know more, contact me here: Contact page link

Answer: Your certifications are important- they add credibility and trust to who you are, showing that you’ve put time and effort into learning something, and not just making it up as you go along.
When you say you’ve worked with people since 2004, that’s over a decade at this point. I’d love for you to name how many people, or how many sessions, since 2004. You may surprise yourself to find that you’ve worked with hundreds, or over a 1000 people, or facilitated over 5,000 individual sessions, or whatever the number is. It can sound very impressive, and can be an important piece of creating trust, so that I, as the reader, know that you really know your stuff.
Otherwise, well done! I like the tone and the flow, and to me it reads well. Woo-hoo!

The Full Question: Is this About page too long? I know some parts are kind of redundant. Would love any feedback.Helping others to live better lives through embodied presence, movement, and flow, is the very essence of my work, and the way that I myself show up in the world.
I earned my Master’s Degree in Social Welfare from UCLA in 1995 and I have been a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the State of California since 1998. I have helped hundreds of people throughout my career to find greater ease and well being in their lives. I have mentored and supervised dozens of students and therapists to develop excellent clinical skills and professional self care.
In 2009 I began my study of somatic therapies. My passion for embodied living emerged through my own experience and the deeper shifts that became possible in work with my clients.
I am a Somatic Experiencing® and NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) Practitioner, also certified in Touch Skills for Trauma Therapists, and as a Yoga and Ayurveda Specialist. I love learning and growing and can often be found in a new class or training to expand my clinical skills or to develop myself personally.
As a clinical social worker, I spent twenty-two years working in public and private agency settings providing psychotherapy and case management, clinical and administrative supervision, program planning and development, prior to opening my private practice full time in 2012.
A trip to India in 2011 inspired a love for the country and its people. India has since become an ever present source of wisdom, strength, and love; inspiring my study of yoga, Ayurveda, mindfulness meditation, and feminine wisdom traditions—all of which I infuse into my life and work.
A little more about me …
My deeply caring nature for community and people has been present throughout my life. The courageous life story of Anne Frank was an early inspiration for inquiry into the strength and resilience of human beings, particularly in the face of great suffering.
As a young woman, I became deeply inspired and passionate about the experience of people living with HIV/AIDS, and have maintained my commitment to both the LGBT and HIV/AIDS communities for over two decades. I have worked with the HIV/AIDS community in hospital, clinic, home health, and psychotherapy settings since 1994; and have been a frequent volunteer and fundraiser for people living with HIV/AIDS since 1988.
I live in Los Angeles, California and am actually a native. I grew up in a local beach community and was blessed to live near the water and to have wonderful family and friends throughout my life.
I have loved dance in it’s many forms since my early teen years. It was my beginning exploration of movement, and embodied fun and connection. As an adult, dance is part of my spiritual practice and inspires me with its many layers and complexities of expression. I love to bring dance into my work with clients, as metaphor and as practice.
I have a love of ancient feminine wisdom traditions, and exploring them through ritual, creativity, dance, music and writing. This work inspires much of my spiritual practice, in addition to my studies of yoga, Ayurveda, and mindfulness meditation.
Nature is one of my greatest teachers, healers, and guides and I find my way to the ocean or into the mountains as much as possible—even LA’s urban mountains provide a grounding presence.

Answer:
Great, you have a lot of information here! But it does read a little sequentially, like a resume. To make it more accessible to the reader, see if you can condense/organise it into three or four paragraphs / sections:
One paragraph about your skills and qualifications – e.g.,
I have been practising as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the State of California since 1998, with my own private practice full time since 2012. I am also a Somatic Experiencing® and NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) Practitioner, also certified in Touch Skills for Trauma Therapists, and as a Yoga and Ayurveda Specialist.
Another paragraph for your experience:
Throughout my career, I have helped hundreds of people throughout my career to find greater ease and well being in their lives. I have mentored and supervised dozens of students and therapists to develop excellent clinical skills and professional self care.
And a paragraph or two for passion and humanity:
I love learning and growing and can often be found in a new class or training to expand my clinical skills or to develop myself personally….
….and here you might also mention India, and those things you described in “A little more about me”

The Full Question: About: What led me to create Alchemist Recovery? July 17th, 1994 is a dividing line in my life. It’s my sober date. By that point I had been studying Chinese medical and martial arts for 6 years, had just gotten my 1st license in Oriental Bodywork and was in the 2nd year of a 4 year’s masters program at Emperor’s College of Traditional Oriental Medicine. I was looking forward to a new future and one that was driven by the question, “How does holistic medicine get & keep a person sober?”
That was a complete U-turn from what had driven my previous incarnation. I was a relocated New Yorker in Hollywood, California, where I lived hand-to-mouth in the world of big hair, loud guitar, rock ’n roll. This provided the perfect setting for me to perform the last 1/2 of my 17 years worth of “personal field research” in the arena of addictions. It also gave me invaluable “hands on experience” that I couldn’t imagine getting any other way.
The last 2 decades on this sober side of that dividing line have been spent searching for direct answers to that original question. And because no one has been able to do that for me, I’ve been forced to find it on my own by exploring what I love. My search has given me the privilege of studying with some of the most revered leaders in the fields of Traditional Oriental Medicine, cranio-sacral therapy, martial arts, shamanism, movement therapy, psychology, mythology, poetry and writing. From this, I have synthesized a unique, clear and concise model of holistic treatment for addiction that I call Alchemist Recovery.
This work has blessed me in the form of:
-treating tens of thousands of people from all walks of life and in all stages of addiction
-serving on staff at hospitals, medical centers and addiction treatment centers
-a successful private practice
-writing 4 original books & various articles in national publications
-teaching my original material to thousands all across North America and beyond
I greatly look forward to seeing what’s next along this path as I travel it with my wife, partner and love of my lifetimes, Dr. Dana Leigh Lyons. And leaving little notes of knowledge from the experiences along the way to answer, “What exactly does daddy do?” for my son Tyler.
Whichever side of that dividing line of sobriety I have found myself on, I have lived by and found great solace in the promise offered by this declaration:
Follow your bliss and doors will open where there were no doors before.
Joseph Campbell

Answer: Same answer as the one above- that it would be helpful for me to know how you feel about the draft, what you like, and what you don’t, and why, and what niggles you have. It’s important for your own learning as well as helps direct my feedback.
I really like your bio- it has all 3 elements- why/passion, certification and experience, and it has some of your humanity as well. I don’t see any particular way to improve it.
I am curious, as a next step, what the two-sentence version is for a byline.

The Full Question: About page url: http://alchemisteating.com/about-dr-dana-leigh-lyonsDR. DANA LEIGH LYONSWHAT LED ME TO CREATE ALCHEMIST EATING? WAS I ALWAYS A “MEAT EATER”? [photo of me now, with baby siamese cat]
I began following a primal way of eating in my early 30s while studying medicine. Before that, I spent 10 years as a vegetarian (sometimes vegan)—continuing on that path even when it was clearly not the right one for my body or mind.
Back then, being “vegetarian” was very wrapped up in my identity—in how I saw myself and how others saw me. Getting really honest about that attachment—and how it was hurting my health—was painful. It was also a key piece in my own healing and in shaping my practice as a doctor.
It took a health crisis to make me really face how my eating patterns needed to change. This was not an easy process, but it left me with much compassion for others on a similar path. It also created a strong desire to help ease the way—and to provide the sort of knowledge, skills and support I could have used when changing my own patterns around food and eating.
In changing my eating patterns—and my relationship to food—I changed my health, my body, my mind and my life. I know the combination of primal eating, holistic medicine and functional medicine works—and I’m passionate about sharing it.
HELPING PEOPLE STRUGGLING WITH WEIGHT, DIET AND DIGESTION [photo of me now, in crazy yoga posture]
As a Doctor of Oriental Medicine, I’ve treated hundreds of patients over the course of thousands of individual treatment sessions. I’ve also led more than a hundred group sessions at addiction treatment centers and co-taught addiction treatment trainings for medical students and healthcare professionals.
I’m a licensed Acupuncture Physician – Doctor of Oriental Medicine in Florida, and a Licensed Acupuncturist in Colorado and Maryland. I’m also a Primal Blueprint Certified Expert in ancestral health and nutrition. I hold a Master’s degree from Georgetown University and completed my 5-year Doctor of Chinese Medicine training at the Academy of Classical Oriental Sciences, in British Columbia.
My speciality is helping people struggling with weight, diet and digestion problems, including eating addictions and eating disorders.
While in medical school, my capstone research project focused on neuroplasticity within the context of Chinese Medicine. This informs my treatments, as does a daily yoga practice spanning more than a decade.
5 MORE THINGS ABOUT ME… [photo of me, age 3, with big siamese cat]
-I lived previously in Egypt and Thailand, where I worked as an Arabic translator.
-I live currently in Palm Beach with two siamese cats and my partner in practice and life, Dr. Randal Lyons.
-I spend much of my free time doing handstands and backbends.
-I’m a Wood Rabbit (in Chinese astrology, we’re known for our integrity, our passion for excellence and our attention to detail).
To listen to an audio interview with me, click here.
And, if you’re ready to get started or have some questions, I’d love to connect. Head on over to our contact page here.
To learn more about Alchemist Eating and what we do, sign up for our newsletter at the top of this page.
You’ll get our Free Guide to Overcoming Sugar Addiction with sign up.

Answer: Same answer as the one above- that it would be helpful for me to know how you feel about the draft, what you like, and what you don’t, and why, and what niggles you have. It’s important for your own learning as well as helps direct my feedback.
That said, I love your page. ? I don’t have an improvements to add. You’ve covered the 3 elements really well, and I like the 5 more things section. The next step, and not necessarily to do now, is to identify a one or two sentence version to use in a byline or other limited-space context.

The Full Question: For example, I did 4 yrs of yoga teacher training, got certified, but then didn’t keep up with annual requirements, but it’s still relevant as I might still use elements of yoga in my coaching work.

Answer: Yes! Just include something similar to what you wrote above. “I did four years of in-depth yoga teacher training, and although I’m no longer actively a yoga teacher, the elements of yoga continue to be woven through my work with clients.”Simple and easy. ?

The Full Question: It’s coming slowly, but I really want to hide. So as an exercise, I will put it out there and ask you if it comes across too weak (I-am-a-beginnerish)?I have served hundreds of children and their families in the role of Ontario Certified Teacher since 1997. I have worked with those with special learning needs, as well as those with emotional, social, and behavioral challenges. In doing this work, I slowly began to realize that although I had fine teaching skills, my real power was in helping people to feel seen, helping them to alter their thinking and way of doing things, whether that meant teaching a child to persist through a challenge or helping a teacher candidate find his authentic voice in the classroom. This took a lot out of me and I had no idea how to replenish myself so I just kept working. Facing chronic stress, burnout, and the end of a long relationship, I began to explore one modality after another: shiatsu, naturopathic medicine, Thai massage, energetic healing techniques. In 2001, I began to practice yoga regularly, and in 2005 I entered a teacher training program of 700 hours and taught yoga for 6 years. I loved learning even more than teaching and the quest continued. In 2013 I completed life coach training and finally began to put the pieces together. It continues to be a work in progress, but I am eager to learn and build a practice, finding purpose and energy in helping others to discover their own version of freedom and fulfillment.

Answer: Thank you for bringing your vulnerability and stepping out to be visible! Such a big step.
First of all, I want to say that it’s okay to sound like a beginner when you are. It really is. You won’t always, but everyone starts out that way.
Secondly, you don’t sound like a complete beginner. Your teaching experience really sounds very strong the way you’ve written it above.
I think the final two sentences could be changed to make it true and stronger. Change them to something like:
“In 2013 I added life coach training which helped me bring all these different skills and experiences together. I love being of service, and find real purpose and energy in helping others to discover their own version of freedom and fulfillment.”
As a final comment, I would want you to break the bio you wrote into a couple different paragraphs instead of one big block of text, so it’s easier to read.
Way to go!

The Full Question:
This exercise has so many strands and I know the flow will change over time. I tried to highlight the theme that is the basic principle and how it evolved in my life through small stories. Did that work and was that conveyed in an accessible way? Did this writing fulfil the function of this page as you are teaching it?In 1969, when I was 15, marijuana was more a political statement and I was losing myself in the confusing smoke of this world. In the midst of this I was exposed to a short 35mm film of a spiritual teacher named Meher Baba (Compassionate Father).
What shocked me was he had not spoken out loud for over 45 years- in fact he had just died!- but I could feel him whispering to me. I cannot explain what happened except the entire course of my life shifted.
Over the decades since, I have been through many such crossroads and somehow teachers always show up to help if I remain open.
This rhythm of getting lost in the world and falling on my face has guided me with depth through various disciplines. I have traveled down paths of whole food diets, all types of massage, yoga teaching, medical Qi Gong, expressive movement therapy, yoga therapy…
Then, in my 50’s, after a divorce, loss of income and home, I went through my own intense dark night of the soul. At the bottom of this breakdown came the breakthrough from a Sufi teacher from Jerusalem.
Unlike Meher Baba, he did speak, but I barely understood what he said. However, knowing him brought me to new crossroads.
For the next 4 years I studied intensively and graduated with a master’s degree in Sufi spiritual healing.
From long experience in marriage and working to raise two children, I became familiar with our culture that glorifies greed and separates daily activities from spiritual connection.
It’s easy to be frustrated and discouraged by these trials and inner patterns of thinking. Lifelong studies in the holistic world of healing the body, heart and mind are now focused on spiritual principles. As a spiritual companion I strive to help others bring greater ease, healing and understanding to their unique crossroads.
My life is lived lived through multiple teachings and disciplines both old and new and I feel called to keep deep human truths available one person at a time because cultivating a strong spiritual relationship brings more healing love and strength into a world which is dreadfully in need.Some reflections on what makes my being tick:-I write poetry when I am stuck and experience the words as strong medicine- I read Hebrew and recite Arabic scriptures daily and love listening to the intelligence of each letter.-I love beauty in all forms:
The art of Monet, Van Gogh;
The music of James Taylor, Mozart, gospel and funk;
People’s faces in their vulnerability and need for love, protection and kindness;
Ocean waves and garden flowers-I love prayer and chanting in the middle of the night, and the rigor and miracles of spiritual practice.-I love being married. The dynamics of marriage has the potential to heal any wound of past relationships and strengthen meaning in life-I have been given 3 sacred names over the course of my life:
Baruch, in the Jewish tradition-”The Blessed”
Dinesh, in the yogic tradition- “Sea Foam”
Noor-ul-Mubeen, in the Sufi tradition- “Clear Light”-My favorite places to stand really relaxed on this earth:
London’s ancient parks,
Huashan, the sacred Taoist mountain in China,
Bali’s rice fields.-I cook without recipes.
Answer:
Your humanity section is good and complete. The skills, experience and qualifications are all here in story form which is quite engaging, but would probably be even more effective if it included a summary of the essential qualifications that you have up front, to help establish your credibility for the reader early on. Eg:As a spiritual companion I strive to help others bring greater ease, healing and understanding to their unique crossroads.I draw from my lifelong studies in the holistic world of healing the body, heart and mind (integrated with essential) spiritual principles.
I have traveled down paths of whole food diets, all types of massage, yoga teaching, medical Qi Gong, expressive movement therapy, yoga therapy…
and I have a master’s degree in Sufi spiritual healing.In 1969, when I was 15, marijuana was more a political statement and I was losing myself in the confusing smoke of this world.
In the midst of this I was exposed to a short 35mm film of a spiritual teacher named Meher Baba (Compassionate Father).
What shocked me was he had not spoken out loud for over 45 years- in fact he had just died!- but I could feel him whispering to me. I cannot explain what happened except the entire course of my life shifted.
Over the decades since, I have been through many such crossroads and somehow teachers always show up to help if I remain open.Then, in my 50’s, after a divorce, loss of income and home, I went through my own intense dark night of the soul. At the bottom of this breakdown came the breakthrough from a Sufi teacher from Jerusalem.
Unlike Meher Baba, he did speak, but I barely understood what he said. However, knowing him brought me to new crossroads.For the next 4 years I studied intensively and graduated with a master’s degree in Sufi spiritual healing.I am aware that our culture glorifies greed and separates daily activities from spiritual connection.
It’s easy to be frustrated and discouraged by these trials and inner patterns of thinking.
I feel called to keep deep human truths available, one person at a time.Because cultivating a strong spiritual relationship brings more healing love and strength into a world which is dreadfully in need.

The Full Question:
1. I have reworked the About section and have been staring at it too long. Just wonder if it still does the job it’s supposed to do overall.
2. I kinda went crazy with the “humanity” section. Not sure how it reads. Maybe it’s too much? Feels oddly risky.
3. I find the transitions difficult to write and would appreciate feedback.(About)
I have served hundreds of children and their families in the role of Ontario Certified Teacher since 1997. I have worked with those who have special learning needs, as well as those with emotional, social, and behavioral challenges.I slowly began to realize that although I was perfectly capable of delivering curriculum, my real power is in creating an environment for people to feel seen and accepted. This sense of safety is a necessary foundation whether I am supporting a child to persist through a challenging math problem, coaching a colleague to deal with a conflict, or helping a teacher candidate find his authentic voice in the classroom.The work was demanding and I held myself to a high standard. I worked hard, which took a lot out of me, and because I had no idea how to replenish myself, I just kept working harder. Then I found myself facing the end of a long relationship, moving five times in five years, managing chronic stress poorly, and finally, burnout.Over time I explored one thing after another, trying to fill myself back up: shiatsu, naturopathic medicine, Thai massage, energetic healing techniques, therapy, writing workshops, art classes, self-help, spiritual readings. In 2001, I began to practice yoga regularly, and in 2005 I entered a teacher training program of over 700 hours, and taught yoga for 6 years.In 2013 I added life coach training which helped me bring all these different skills and experiences together. I love to be of service and find purpose and energy in helping others to discover their own version of freedom and satisfaction.Feel like getting in touch? I would love to hear from you. Click here(Humanity)
Curious what satisfaction and freedom look like in my life? Read on.• Lego pieces and marker lids clicking into place
• Laughing so hard at an improv class that my knees buckled and I could not get up
• The day I drew purple hearts all over my biochemistry exam, then turned it in and walked out with the clarity that I was in a place that was wrong for me. Delicious.
• Every time words finally arrange themselves onto the page in truth and tears flow
• The moment I realize that a hard decision has made itself
• Every time someone’s face lights up with an epiphany, large or small
• The moment the canoe slips all the way into the lake and I remember that I am being held
• My first drink from a natural spring, hands cupped in gratitude
Answer:
This is beautiful. It does the job it is supposed to do overall, the humanity section reads really well, and the transitions are fine.Great work!(I assume it will be obvious from your website, but just from the text, I wasn’t sure if “Ontario Certified Teacher” referred to being yoga teacher or not. If so, it might be helpful to name that in the first sentence, just to be clear!)

The Full Question: It was previously very chronological and resume-like. I did a lot of revising. I left the Why part on the long side for feedback, but have cut out some things and added new language around the rhythm and connection with nature. The new business that I am birthing is called Our Sacred Rhythm, so this languaging is new and just beginning to emerge and important to be in there since it will match up with the biz name. I will skip explaining about it now and just see how it lands as a whole. Thanks for any feedback. :)About page draft:
I have been practicing as a Licensed Clinical Social Worker in the State of California since 1998, and working as a full time creative entrepreneur in private practice since 2012. I am also a Somatic Experiencing® and NeuroAffective Relational Model (NARM) Practitioner, with additional certifications in Touch Skills for Trauma Therapists, and as a Yoga and Ayurveda Specialist.Throughout my career, I have helped many hundreds of people to find greater ease and well being in their lives. I have mentored and supervised dozens of students and therapists to develop excellent clinical skills and professional self care.Helping others to live better lives through embodied presence, movement, and flow, is the very essence of my work, and the way that I myself show up in the world. My passion for embodied living emerged through my own experience and the deeper shifts that became possible in work with my clients, as I began studying somatic therapies.I am inspired by the rhythms of nature and how this supports us as human beings. It’s sacred to me, actually, this process of creating a divine connection with nature. It opens me up to my internal rhythm, helps me move out of my head and into my body more naturally, and allows me to feel a reverence for what is happening beyond just my own experience.In the city I have to be creative about how I connect with nature on a daily basis. Aside from getting outside and experiencing the elements directly at the ocean or on a local hike, one of my favorite ways to bring nature into my home every day is through essential oils. I love to use tree and floral oils for grounding and joy. It also helps me connect directly with the plants and the people who grow them and the process that brings them into my home.
A little more about me …As a young woman, I became deeply inspired and passionate about the experience of people living with HIV/AIDS, and have maintained my commitment to both the LGBT and HIV/AIDS communities for over two decades. I have worked with the HIV/AIDS community in hospital, clinic, home health, and psychotherapy settings since 1994; and have been a frequent volunteer and fundraiser for people living with HIV/AIDS since 1988.I live in Los Angeles, California and am actually a native. I grew up in a local beach community and was blessed to live near the water and to have wonderful family and friends throughout my life.I have loved dance in it’s many forms since my early teen years. It was my beginning exploration of movement, and embodied fun and connection. As an adult, dance is part of my spiritual practice and inspires me with its many layers and complexities of expression. I love to bring dance into my work with clients, as metaphor and as practice.I have a love of ancient feminine wisdom traditions, and exploring them through ritual, creativity, dance, music and writing. This work inspires much of my spiritual practice, in addition to my studies of yoga, Ayurveda, and mindfulness meditation.
Answer: Mostly it’s a strong page- I like it! Very revealing and clear- nourishing to read.Two things: you repeat a few different words, “actually” and “I have a love” “I have loved.” My preference would be for you to remove the word “actually” entirely- I think it weakens your writing and your stance, and to find some other variations for the phrase “I have a love,” just to mix it up.Also, I’d like you to have a different first paragraph- start me off with more of your story, and then mention the certifications below- perhaps under the mentoring. I don’t mean for you to re-write, just to re-organize. :)Finally, and I do mean “finally”- the final paragraph kind of ends, instead of coming to a conclusion. I think you could either add a call to action, like encouraging them to contact you or to subscribe. Or you could just wrap up the last paragraph with something like, “All of this comes together in such a beautiful way for me, and I love the clients I work with where I get to bring all of this to supporting them.”Those are tweaks, and doesn’t change the fact that you’ve got a basically strong page. Nicely done!

The Full Question: What do you think? Too informal? Too long? Thank you!Draft of About Me page:

Who Do I Think I Am, Anyway?

Thanks for asking! My name is Clayton Szczech, and since 2008, I have been connecting serious Tequila lovers and novices alike to the authentic culture of Tequila. I have hosted hundreds of guests, currently lead over 20 tours a year, and am proud to work with a loyal base of aficionados who return to tour Tequila Country with me year after year. I’ve been able to do this by forging deep and lasting relationships with Tequila producers and their communities.

I’ve been recommended by the Wall Street Journal, Associated Press, Imbibe Magazine, Sunset Magazine, San Francisco Business Times, Chilled Magazine, The People’s Guide to Mexico, TasteTequila.com, Lonely Planet, and countless blogs and local media outlets.

I am the only non-Mexican to have earned the Tequila Regulatory Council’s “Double T” certification for excellence in Tequila tourism, and one of the only people in the world to hold both the “Double T” and the “Distintivo T,” for general Tequila knowledge. I have been certified in Tequila tasting by Master Taster Ana María Romera Mena, and as en “_Experto en Tequila_” by Dr. Jaime Villalobos of the Academia Mexicana de Catadores de Tequila.

I have served as a tasting judge, presenter, or consultant for festivals including the Spirits of Mexico, Manhattan Cocktail Classic, Northwest Tequila Fest, Santa Barbara Tequila Harvest, and the Monterey Tequila & Mezcal Expo.

But what people usually want to know is, how did a gringo like me get here?

My passion for Tequila began as a larger passion for all things Mexico. I became obsessed with the Spanish language as a high school punk rocker and wannabe cholo. I was already fluent when I first crossed the border in 1995. I never stopped going back. Eventually, the lure was so strong that I moved to Mexico. I began learning about how Tequila is made, and it seemed so bizarre that I had to go see for myself. I fell in love with the village of Tequila, Jalisco, on that first visit in 2007.

I felt immediately compelled to find a way to share that special place, and its traditional beverage, with other people from throughout the world. I launched Experience Tequila in 2008, and guided my first group tour in 2009.

My Spanish language and Mexican cultural fluency have allowed me to develop the relationships that are the bedrock of my tours. I’m an extrovert, an over-educated, would-be intellectual, as well as a born joker with a bawdy sense of humor. This means I know a lot of big words, and a lot of bad words, in both English and Spanish. I’m equally comfortable in academic conferences, dining with old-school Mexican bluebloods, and in Mexico’s saltiest cantinas.

I am detail-oriented and no-nonsense when it comes to planning, and laid-back and warm when I’m hosting guests. Before starting my business, I was a teacher and an entertainer, and I bring both of these perspectives to my tours. There are few things I enjoy more than re-living “first moments” through my guests’ experience: their first taste of cooked agave, their first whiff of fermentation, their first barrel tasting, and so much more. I sincerely believe myself to be the luckiest person alive.

But why take my word for any of this? Take a look at what my clients [link] or the media[link2] have to say.

Answer: This is a VERY strong page. I love it. It’s a great balance of experience, certification and passion. And you reveal a wonderful sense of yourself. It’s easy to say, “Hey, I want to hang out with that guy.” Really, really beautiful and approachable, and you.

I can understand feeling shy about it, but really, wonderful job!

The Full Question: I recognize that all of it is relevant, even when it doesn’t seem to be. I know I have all the material for an autobiography, should I ever choose to write one, but that’s not the issue here. My problem is how to cut it back? I’m getting the sense that I can write the CFS differently for different audiences/readerships. And that’s fine because I’ve got a lot to say.
Answer: Yay! I’m celebrating that you have a lot to say. First of all, it’s fine to have an extended bio for your website, for folks who want to go in-depth.

In terms of how to edit down, it’s choosing. Think about your clients and what challenges, fears, doubts they may be confronting, and then pick the elements from your bio that most strongly will bring confidence and trust to those doubts. And/or the items that bring the most joy and celebration to you, that help bring a sense of you alive.

One way to challenge yourself: what if it had to be cut 50%? What would you cut?

The Full Question: I want to link to the audios to give a “voice” to my bio.
– Thoughts on including them in this way?
– Should I omit the newsletter sign-up link to reduce the number of choices?
– Should I make any or all of those bottom links larger font and/or red in colour?Url: http://alchemisteating.com/about-dr-dana-leigh-lyons/
Answer: Yup, too many choices. The one thing you should NOT omit is the newsletter sign-up link. That’s the MOST important link, and the primary intention. One podcast links, and the newsletter link. Or, if you absolutely must, two podcast links. But don’t send people away from your site to click endlessly through the internet and never come back….

The Full Question: Draft of About page:My Why Part for my homework assignment: I do this work because I know deep down what it feels like to constantly ask yourself, ‘Am I ever going to be free of my past? Is the pain and the pervading sense of worthlessness ever going to stop?’

I also know the desperate and fearful places you go to when most of your life seems to be on hold and upside down because nothing seems to be working out. I have lived through all of this type of inner chaos myself. And I understand first-hand what it means to not trust the ground you walk on as I have spent years since my early 20’s healing the devastation and the feeling of brokenness from having been abandoned at birth and then adopted into an extremely toxic, dysfunctional violent family.

And, yet, no matter what I lived through, the capacity to keep my heart open and full of caring and compassion, was where my innate gifts and talents laid in order to help others come through the desperate feelings of walking around with decades of childhood trauma still stuck within their bones. I believe that this is the ‘gift’ I have to offer others when I open, listen and carry them through to the other side of the tunnel. It is a magical, beautiful and powerful experience that fills me with awe every time someone turns their life around.

I began my early training back in 1992 in Traditional Chinese Medicine, Shiatsu and Jin Shin Do Acupressure which allowed me to make some profound connections between our body, our emotions, our beliefs and chronic and acute illness. There my interest in MindBody Medicine came to light and has guided me throughout my career.

I then went onto studying counselling and coaching and received my diploma in Analytical & Psychotherapeutic Counselling in 2004 from the International College of Eclectic Therapies in London. From there I continued my training in hypnosis, neuro-science, rapid cognitive counselling and belief restructuring between the US and the UK.

Since 2004, I have worked with hundreds of clients between the US, Italy and the UK. I have worked in significant areas such as head & neck surgery at the National Cancer Institute – (Istituto di Tumori) in Genova, Italy. I have also worked in private clinics between Genova and London and within the entertainment industry assisting staff members, comedians, muscians and actors in Peak Performance coaching at John Noel Mgt.

If you are interested in knowing more about me, please click here:

If you are interested in knowing what my clients have to say about working with me, please click here:

Answer: Okay, strong page! I think it might be helpful to begin with “I began my training..” and put the strong, inspirational “why” portion toward the end. Because your approach is already very alternative-y, energy-based, inspirational kind of work, it helps to bring concrete things front and center as much as possible. It gives the reader something to lean into.

The Full Question: I could feel my self-confidence build as I continued to add to the list. I’d love to include it, but worry that it’s much too long. Feedback?
Answer: I think it depends on how long it is. You didn’t include it in the question, so I don’t have a sense of the length. Is it 10? Is it 20?

In general, you could include this kind of list on the Is This You page, under the mini-scenarios, the list of demographics could include a list like you’re referring to.

For the About page, I’m wondering, if it’s truly a very long list, if the list could be grouped according to type, rather than many, many individual items?

Always feel free to repeat the section you want us to look at/respond to within the question, so we have it to refer to.

The Full Question: Currently it’s sort of a part 3 section in the About Me page. For context: https://deeprootssandbox.wordpress.com/about-lucy/I want to include the resume list, but feel like it drops the energy of the first portion of the page and will lose the reader’s interest. I’ve put my links in above it in order to capture their attention while they are still in the flow. Shall I make a separate page for these? “Nitty Gritty Details for licensure, certification available here.” With a Back to About Lucy link or on to the next link at the bottom? It’s such a dead end kind of list, but the certification board, the licensure feels like a badge of legitimacy to bring to awareness, even if they just skim over it. I want them to know that I am licensed by the Medical Board, that I hold National Certification even if listing that info is too many jargon-y words to put into a normal paragraph. This isn’t just a weekend workshop kind of training. You will be safe here.

Here is the text immediately following the above list on the About Me page:

“My roots drink deep in returning to my home in the the midwest, to the big open skies and rolling hills of Iowa.

Would you like to join the Witness the Journey Community?

You can continue scrolling down for the nitty gritty details of my training and certifications, or if you have questions, you can contact me here.

Education, Certifications, & Licensure

Licensed Acupuncturist, Iowa Medical Board, 2015
Licensed Massage Therapist, Iowa Board of Professional Licensure, 2016
Diplomate of Oriental Medicine, National Certification Commission of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, 2015
Master of Acupuncture 2014, Academy for Five Element Acupuncture, Gainesville, FL
Certificate in Chinese Herbal Medicine 2014, Academy for Five Element Acupuncture, Gainesville, FL
Diplomate of Asian Bodywork Therapy, National Certification Commission of Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine, 2005-2013
Advanced Shiatsu Training 2005, Charles River School of Shiatsu, Cambridge, MA
Certificate of Shiatsu and Asian Bodywork Therapies 2004, Boston School of Shiatsu, Cambridge, MA
Reiki II Training 2004, Cambridge, MA
Reiki I Training 2002, Aukland, NZ
Bachelor of Arts in Spanish 1997, Earlham College, Richmond, IN
Scattergood Friends School, West Branch, IA”

Thank you for your feedback!

Answer: You’re welcome- and first let me note that you write “over a decade of experience”- if you can help it, never make specific time references like that, simply because you have to remember to update them later. It sounds good, but in 2-3 years, when it might be 15 years, are you going to remember to update it?

You can include some lightness around your list of certifications. “Here’s all the work I did with professionals and training schools to know how to help you.”

I think it’s important to list, because some people really do care, and you did the work. You can also organize your certificates similar to the demographics in Is This You.

For instance, instead of listing Reiki I and Reiki II on separate lines, you can just say, “Reiki I and Reiki II Training”

You don’t have to list your BA and Scattergood Friends School, because they aren’t relevant to your training. It’s not a resume, you’re just establishing your expertise.

Those two changes alone reduces the list by 3 lines.

Your page is strong otherwise. Nice!

The Full Question: I am a fourth generation wholistic health care provider. My father, both grandparents and great grandfather were all Chiropractors –so the philosophy that the power that made that body can heal the body has always been part of me. I was contemplating Chiropractic college for myself, but got waylaid by the power of touch, and became a massage therapist instead.I received my massage license in 2004 after completed a 1000 hour training at the Brian Utting School of Massage. Two years ago I became certified in Orthopedic Assessment by the Orthopedic Massage Education and Research Institute. I’ve also been inspired by trainings in Structural Integration and Trager. I’m currently working to enhance my research literacy. I’ve helped dozens of people regain meaningful activities without pain.

I became particularly interested in helping people continue activities that matter to them when, after several years working as a laborer (with less than optimal alignment) I experienced a prolonged bout of severe back pain, just at the time when my sweetie and I achieved the dream of having our own property. I knew the frustration and depression of looking at all the things I wanted to do and not being able to do them. I want to help people with situations like that.

I know that happy, pain free people can express their gifts more easily than people in pain can. I love this world and I want it to benefit from the gifts people have to give it. That’s why I do this.
I also like interacting with living tissue, finding out how stuff works, trying something and seeing what happens. That’s probably why I also love gardening and growing plants. I could be most often quoted as saying, “It’s all one piece.” (it really is!)….and “Eat more leaves.”
I connect with this amazing world by backpacking, the aforementioned gardening, getting into community projects and living in a body in a world full of sensations.

Answer: I like it! You hit all 3 areas, although you could say more about how many people you’ve worked with since 2004, or what kind of things you’ve seen.

The Full Question: Who is this photographer person?I pretty much love photography and have always been drawn to the visuals in books and magazines before reading anything. Photographs speak volumes.

When my life changed and I became a single mom the question on my mind was what do I do now? The answer and inspiration came through a photojournalist for the local paper photographing the swimmers, including my son and myself at the sportsplex. She was having a really good time and I wanted to know more because she sparked something in me. Our conversation lead to my becoming a photojournalist.

In the beginning of my photography career I really tried to have the business take off and wasn’t successful enough. So, I earned a living in the corporate world and was finally laid off with some money which gave me the means to pursue studies in why I was here, my life mission. I remembered my love and mission was to photograph. I went for it and studied with a well-known portrait photographer, going on to photograph hundreds of families, life events, professionals, nature and travel. My photography was shown in galleries, as part of femme foto, a professional women’s photography collective. It was also published in books and magazines. Along the way my clients and I were having conversations about what they did and their families. It was very clear how passionately they felt. Why couldn’t I bring this into the photographs? I was already helping people as a healing practitioner to be able to express their passion through moving through obstacles that stood in their way towards what they longed. So, I started offering this heart-centred way of having portraits done. It has been amazing to see the huge shift between the inner and outer. When my clients are in their heart-felt passion there is presence, love, connection, joy and beauty.

The other things I passionately enjoy usually mean taking my camera with me – such as hiking or walking the beach, but, there is one, dancing, that I don’t have my camera with me. It’s the type of dancing that allows you to really know what is moving through you and called 5 Rythyms. When, I’m not in a space for dancing I will often have a little dance in my office chair or in the car to simply move because the music is calling me and my body can’t sit still. Even, my workouts include dance workouts. I encourage you to have your own chair dance sometime!

Answer: You touch on all the elements needed, so there’s a lot here that’s good. YOu mention, almost as an aside, being a healing practitioner. I think that needs a paragraph of its own, so we can understand you as a healer, and how that comes into the photography.

Also, break up the longer paragraphs. “In the beginning…” could easily be 3-4 shorter paragraphs, to make it easier to read.

Great work! Very fun.

The Full Question: I feel that my About bio appears to be way too long. I am aware that galleries will want to see my training and experience fairly well described. Your example is quite short and succinct.QUESTION – Can you please tell me:
1. if it’s too long, how much to shorten it? Like 50% or something like that.
2. Should there be a long AND a short version in the website or just this one?About page draft:
How nice to meet you!I’m Jill Keller Peters: painter, color explorer, writer, passionate backgammon player, jazz dancer.I tend to wear scarves, and love when I have the exquisite pleasure of hiking the Swiss alps with my husband, a chef and a native of Switzerland.We live in the wine country in Sonoma County, California, surrounded by an ocean of vineyards.I make art about resilience, peace and beauty.
I write about the ways art weaves itself in and out of the stories of our lives.Both my Modern works and Impressionist landscapes are based on the evocative reach of color and my passion to make use of its capacity to convey emotion, nature and atmosphere to the heart of the viewer.I’m one of those artists who lives to paint. Color keeps me positive and hope filled. I fix my eyes on fields of color because I love how throughout all of life’s crazy surprises, it helps me to be centered and calm.

TRAINING AND EDUCATION

My knowledge and practice of color and light have matured from two areas of study. First, I explored light and its effect on film at Brooks Institute of Photography in Santa Barbara.

Photography taught me to “read” light and to seek out situations that optimize its glowing qualities. It taught me to patiently work out the technical aspects of a lighting challenge and to think analytically.

Secondly, I studied with master colorist, Susan Sarback, (School of Light and Color, Fair Oaks, CA.) from whom I learned the effect of light and color when it is translated into oil painting.

She taught me to be competent in handling paint to show how light and color create form and space in my landscapes. I drove 2.5 hours each way to class and seminars, and studied with Susan for ten years.

EXPERIENCE

I have been painting since 1996. Prior to delving more fully into abstraction, I have had a long career as a painter of impressionistic landscapes.

My work has received recognition both locally and nationally, and I have exhibited my work at Galerie Judith Engelstad (Sausalito, CA) for seven years, as well as in San Francisco, Chicago and Denver.

I am a Signature Member of the American Impressionist Society, and have participated in numerous Open Studios with Art at the Source and the Sonoma County ArTrails, was a partner at Graton Gallery for a short time, and served on the Art at the Source steering committee for two years.

Signature Member of the American Impressionist Society, Sonoma County ArTrails, Art at the Source Open Studios, Graton Gallery, Graton, CA, Galerie Judith Englestad, Sausalito, CA

Answer: That is a very complete About page, and it’s strong! Naturally, for any business, people will have different versions of their bio, from a 1-2 sentence version to go in articles, or under paintings, to the longest one for the website, to ones that are in-between for specific intentions.

For your website, the one you’ve written is just fine. I don’t think it’s too long at all.

The Full Question: Laurel O’Sullivan is passionate about advocacy. Her earliest experience in finding her voice came while growing up with 3 older brothers and a mom who wanted a go-along get-along girl. That early experience propelled her to law school and nearly two decades of experience advocating for nonprofits. She spent the first half of her career as a lawyer enforcing clean water protections for communities around the Great Lakes and nationally while working for the Alliance for the Great Lakes, NRDC and the firm of Terris, Pravlik and Millian LLC. She later created an advocacy platform for Illinois social service nonprofits and foundations as Vice President of Policy at the Forefront. In 2013 she founded the Advocacy Collaborative because she understands first hand the challenges nonprofits experience when getting started with advocacy and has also witnessed its transformative power for both nonprofits and the people and causes they serve. Since 2013 Laurel has spoken to and taught hundreds of nonprofits about how to use advocacy to transform their mission and their world. Laurel lives in Evanston, Il with her husband Tim, 5 kids and dog Blue. In her free time she likes to swim and run along the shores of Lake Michigan.QUESTIOn: I realize I didn’t include my partner who consults and does some teaching with me. I’m not sure what your guidelines were for that—I thought you said not to if she didn’t develop the content but this is different right?

Answer: You’ve got the elements I want to see included, and I like your writing- it feels strong to me. I think you could say a little bit more, even half a sentence, about finding your voice with your 3 older brothers.

Also, you’ll want to break it up into shorter paragraphs for easier reading.

As far as your partner, is this person truly a business partner, meaning they own part of your company? Or are they more of a colleague/collaborator with certain projects? Or are you referring to your husband?

If they are a business partner, then they should have their own, separate bio on the page. I they are an occasional, or even semi-regular supporter/colleague, you don’t have to include them. If you do, they get their own bio. Regardless, don’t mingle them in with your bio.

The Full Question: I want to tell them that the latest class schedule is also there because historically that’s what I have sent out (usually each season) but do you think I should leave that out because it looks like sales?Sign-up page draft: If you’re interested in getting tips on how to feel good day to day, how your body works with your awareness to make you healthy and comfortable then I would love to share my newsletter with you. It goes out once a month and includes the latest group class schedule.
Just leave me your email in the form below. Please be assured that I will never share your email with anyone. And you can unsubscribe at anytime.

Answer: Your sign-up page is decent, and could run as-is. To improve it, I would do a few things:
– Include a testimonial or two from a reader
– Be a little more mission-driven. “I want to help you be healthier in your everyday life!” Some enthusiasm and mission- not to go over the top, or to change your personality, but to bring some of your passion out.
– I don’t think I’d mention “group class schedule” – not because it’s too salesy- you’re in business, you’re allowed to mention your offerings. Instead of “schedule” just “includes my classes and other offers.”
– Say, “About once a month with some additional emails.” You may increase your frequency, or want to include special notices about classes, so don’t get stuck on just once a month.There you go!

The Full Question: Here’s my draft SignUp page and I would love feedback.

Answer: SIGN UP PAGE:Why am I giving this audio recording away for free? Because there are times when we (yes, me too!) need to be able to step away from what is going on in our lives, take a breath and remember how to connect our feet back onto the earth. To literally ground so that we can feel like “I’ve got this”. Once we do, then we have the ability to move forward with more clarity.
Comments:
Great work!!!You can, if you like, create even more space between the paragraphs like this:
Why am I giving this audio recording away for free? Because there are times when we (yes, me too!) need to be able to step away from what is going on in our lives, take a breath and remember how to connect our feet back onto the earth.To literally ground so that we can feel like “I’ve got this”.Once we do, then we have the ability to move forward with more clarity.
Draft continues: This recording is just one way of feeling that re-connection.
Comments: See if you can find another word for “just” here, as it can have a meaning that diminishes the value.
Draft continues: I’ve worked with so many women in so many ways to help them get out of overwhelm and to find relief. Here’s what one of them has to say about the work we did together:My overall health and passion for life has improved by 90% within the last 6 months of working with Carin. Prior to Carin, the last 5 years had been filled with chronic intestinal distress, inflammation, sleep apnea, and anxiety/depression. No western medical doctor or practice had ever given me the support and tools I needed to guide my healing journey and alleviate chronic pain. Carin is a true healer and will be there to support you and your body in healing itself. Her Ayurvedic program has allowed me to thrive!” Abby, Bend, OR.[Picture of my audio download here]Fill out this form and I will send the audio to you right away! You will also receive a monthly newsletter with more ideas and suggestions from me to you.Name:Email:I cherish your email address and promise never to share it with anyone. You may also unsubscribe anytime you would like.
Comments: …Apart from the small suggestions above, this is a very fine Sign Up page. Way to go! ?

The Full Question: I’m happy with it—and it seems to have increased my sign-ups, which rose by 9 people the first day I promoted this page via social media (prior to that, I’d promoted subscription with a blog post, FB posts, etc., but without a direct noticeable impact on subscription rate).I especially like how writing it helped me find clarity and articulation around: 1) what, exactly, I strive to offer through my blog posts and newsletters and 2) why the free guide is a suitable give-away (even for people not struggling with sugar addiction).
The testimonials feel a little strange, since I collected them from people in the HoB community who aren’t subscribers but who offered to read and review my free guide (this is why I have “What our readers say…” rather than “What our subscribers say…”. Though I’ve collected general testimonials to use on my site (on a testimonial page: http://alchemisteating.com/testimonials/ ) these are people who went through my program, and I still feel uncomfortable asking newsletter subscribers to provide something like that.
Here’s the text – url: http://alchemisteating.com/alchemist-eating-newsletter/
Why sign up for another newsletter?
After all, if you’re anything like us, you try to keep inbox clutter to a minimum.
So we want to offer you the type of newsletter we’d subscribe to.
-One that’s interesting, useful, to-the-point…perhaps even a little playful.
-One that inspires you to try something new, do something a little differently, or check out something you might’ve missed before.
-One that’s a place of support—community, even—when it comes to food, eating and health.
You down? If so, just enter your name and email in the form below.
As our gift to you for making space in your inbox for us, you’ll also get a free copy of our ebook:
5 TIPS FOR OVERCOMING SUGAR ADDICTION
(& SLAYING THE SUGAR DEMON)
[picture of book to the right of book title]
Why are we giving this particular guide away for free?
-Addiction to sugar is pretty common—we’re seeing more and more of it at clinic.
-Even if sugar’s not your thing, this guide is helpful for working with other sorts of cravings, habits or unhelpful patterns.
-This guide also gives a sense of what we’re about—and how we work.
To get your free ebook along with our weekly newsletter about food and eating, just fill out the form below.
(Psst…We hope it goes without saying, but we’ll never share your information, and you can unsubscribe easily at any time.)
[Name/email form]
What our readers say…
“Dr. Dana Leigh Lyons – Five Tips for Overcoming Sugar Addiction is a fresh and deliciously doable guide to stopping your addiction to sugar. But the goodness doesn’t stop there. If you follow Dr. Dana’s wisdom you’ll end up living at a whole new level that liberates you to live your best life. If you’re ready to love yourself and your life this guide is a great place to start.”
—Fiona M.
“Dr. Dana Lyon’s Tips for Overcoming Sugar Addiction provides simple solutions to help you take a timeout BEFORE deciding to consume an entire plate of cookies. Even if you’re just wanting one cookie, she still offers simple tips to help you make a conscious choice on what to consume. Having a healthier relationship with sugar helps you feel less like a slave to your habits. The tips in this guide empower the reader to make better choices and to move towards better health.”
—Monica F.
“Whether you are wondering if you have a sugar habit/addiction, are curious about what might be involved in overcoming one, or have already begun the process of shedding your habit/addiction, reading 5 Tips for Overcoming Sugar Addiction will give you accessible, straight-forward information that will clear away the sugar sprinkles of bewilderment. Written in an inviting format, with humorous drawings, this pamphlet can guide and support you on your sugar shedding journey wherever you are on the continuum of habit/addiction. Dr. Lyons covers a broad spectrum of sweets, includes practical, clarifying sections (entitled “What does this look like?”), and offers simple, alternative recipes and tools you can put to use immediately. If you read this pamphlet attentively and practice the 5 Tips, you can go far with your eating transformation.”
—C.M.S. (former counselor working with people overcoming eating disorders)

Answer: Congratulations on getting such great results so far! And I can understand how you might feel funny about the testimonials, but really, don’t. ? They are people who read it and gave you honest feedback. You’ll get more from subscribers as you go along.
In general, I think you’ve done a really effective job with your sign-up page. You’re clear, to the point, and it’s enticing. And the topic you’ve picked is nearly universal AND you’ve explained why someone would want to read it even if sugar isn’t there problem.
The only small thing I could see to change is the phrase “perhaps even a little playful.” to be stronger, just taking out the “perhaps.”
Nice job!

The Full Question: Sign Up page draft:
What makes us peek out from isolation is beauty, love and being reminded who we really are. Wisdom passed down through the ages does this and it has always been free because it arises universally from our own hearts.Each newsletter sheds more light on our common habits, anxiety, and isolation. Through short writings, audio, video, I offer hope, conveying depth from this universal wisdom blended with modern insights of psychology.Jane said after receiving a recent post: “I was about to give in to the urge to gorge myself on chocolate. Your blog post was intimate, poetic and informing of my own process just when I needed it. Thanks.”I welcome our connection. I would never disclose your personal information without your permission. Visit and unsubscribe whenever it feels right.
Answer: Like Jane, I enjoyed the poetry in your writing. I think you could bring more of you into the writing in the second paragraph. Even something simple like, “With each newsletter, I try to shed more light” or “I share what has shed light for me on our common habits, etc.” That connection to you is what makes it more compelling, I feel.Also, you don’t have to say “visit and unsubscribe whenever it feels right.” Leave that out, unnecessary. Also, be more specific about “I welcome our connection.” Instead, “I hope you decide to subscribe- I welcome our connection.”Well done!

The Full Question: Is the newsletter paragraph compelling enough? Should I lead with the free give away?Sign up Page

When you sore and stressed, it’s hard. You don’t want one more thing on your plate.

My newsletter is meant to be a little oasis in your busy day. Twice a month you’ll get either a gentle reminder to relax and slow down, or some encouragement and inspiration to make the healthy changes you want to make—all with a few practical tips on how to make a small positive change, now. Here what one person said:

-find quote-

To sign up, just fill out the form below. As a thank you, you’ll get my PDF “Five Simple Exercises for a Healthy Back.” It features stretches, and limbering-up and strength exercises to sooth a tired, achy back.

Of course, I’ll never share your email with someone else, and you can unsubscribe at anytime.

I’m so glad you’re here, and I look forward to getting to know you better.

Answer: In general I like what you’ve written. It feels like it could be stronger, however. It’s not about leading with the PDF. But I think you could be stronger about how beneficial the PDF is.

If you gave yourself a couple more sentences to really lay it out why someone would want/need and benefit from the PDF, what would you say?

The Full Question: However, they put their email address down when they fill out the first session questionnaire, so I have access to them. I would like to have my sign up audio done within the next month. Would it be a good idea to start telling my existing clients what I’m doing, so that when I’m ready I can just send them an email and they’ll know what it’s about? That way if I don’t see them for awhile I’ve still been given permission by them to email them later?In a nutshell, even if I don’t have a sign up page yet is it a good idea to start telling my clients about it and getting an email list happening?

Answer: Yes! Yes! I’m glad you’re collecting emails. Get it going in whatever way- getting permission, letting people know, get it started. It’s the key to your Second Journey success. Also, by telling people about it, you’ll have witnesses, they’ll be waiting for it, and so you’ll be motivated with some accountability to get it done. 🙂

The Full Question: Do you think it makes sense to also have a box that says something like “please let me know if you would prefer an email response or a phone call”? For me as the practitioner a phone call is almost always better if they seem serious but I don’t want to assume they are ok with me calling them out of the blue just because they provided their phone number as email feels safer to most people. What do you think?
Answer: I hear you- very caring to consider this. At the same time, if they give you their phone number, especially if it’s optional, then you can assume they are giving you permission to call.

Many, perhaps most, are quite struck when they get a phone call back from a website inquiry. We have the expectation of not being able to make contact with a real human being, that it does add a special touch.

The downside of asking if they have a preference means one more question for them to answer, and also to lose the ability to call them. Someone might say they prefer email, but might have been really flattered with a phone call, or not minded a phone call, but didn’t want to bother you. Then you wouldn’t call them, when it would have been fine, and, as you say from your experience, even better.

The Full Question: The idea of giving away the Health Evaluation came from my husband. It can be done within 20 minutes and does not include any healing work. It would require lots of disclaimers as I don’ t want to draw attention from official health authorities. Still not sure whether I will actually offer this. I can see it creating a heap of unpaid work for me, with no guarantee of any future outcomes. What do you think?
Answer: I think when you get through Heart-Centered Article Writing, you’ll be able to create a give-away that really works for you, better than a health evaluation. You can reserve the health evaluation for people that might become clients.

You want whatever you give away to be scalable, so if you can get 10 or 20 or 30 people signs up in a month (or a week, or a day!), then you can just keep giving it.

At the same time, pay attention to the teaching that you don’t need a give-away. You can just offer the ongoing newsletter that you will create, once you do the Heart-Centered Article Writing part of the program. 🙂

It will come together. Do what you can here, and then you’ll probably go back and edit after the next section.

The Full Question: ‘And, the other is because being on the healing journey can sometimes be a bit tedious and lonely if you are on your own. It is easy to get caught up in negative spirals, fears and self-doubts about where you are in your process and if you will ever find your way out. This type of thinking can rob us of our internal resources and energy that we very much need to move forward with patience, kindness and love towards ourselves.’
Answer: Thanks for asking! Grammatically it’s awkward, without a transition, and I think it doesn’t work. I can understand the tendency and desire, but don’t do it.

You can make the transition more consciously, if you need to, by saying “You’re not alone in that this type of thinking can rob you, me or anyone of our internal resources…” or something like that.

Or you could just stay in the second person and know that that works very well, too, without complicating the writing.

The Full Question: It is delicate to ask in this way and wondering how it sounds to you?Draft of the Contact Page:

If you have any queries or if you would like to share something with me, I would love to hear from you. It would be helpful to me to know what you are thinking and feeling as you read my web pages. I know one can feel tender and shy about opening up and sharing or even asking questions, and I really want to let you know that I would very much like you to do your best and push through it and give me as much information or whatever you are wanting to share with me. The more information and detail you give me, the easier it is for me to help you.

Answer: I think this is fine. You might also not assume that everyone is tender or shy. Meaning that you can have a very welcoming paragraph, coming from a perspective of people feeling fine about telling you, and then have an additional paragraph, like the one above, that starts out, “In case you are feeling especially shy or tender, I want to encourage you to let me know anyway…” or something to that effect.

I might not use the words “do your best and push through it” but rather spend some words addressing why it’s safe to tell you. That, from my perspective, is more honoring of their caution, and helps them move forward from a good place.

The Full Question: Draft of Sign Up Page:One, is because I am so deeply committed to helping people move out of feeling like victims and into their own sense of empowerment as they become more conscious that this is an evolutionary process as much as a healing process.

And, the other is because being on the healing journey can sometimes be a bit tedious and lonely if you are on your own. It is easy to get caught up in negative spirals of fear and self-doubt about where you are in your process and if you will ever find your way out. This type of thinking can rob us of our internal resources and energy that we very much need to move forward with patience, kindness and love towards ourselves.

Through the years that I have been assisting clients through their journey, I have found a number of valuable tips that seem to work for most people who try and experiment with them. I would like to share these helpful bits of teachings, insights and tools that will inspire you along the way so that you, too, can experience more ease and grace on your healing journey.

Just fill in this form, and the e-book will be on its way over to you. Plus, you will also receive additional tips from me every couple of weeks.

Name: ______________ Email:___________________

I will never share your email with anyone else. And, you can unsubscribe anytime you like.

Answer: I like this. It feels clear and strong. What’s missing for me is the intro paragraph which explains what I’m reading and why. You jump directly into the reasons, without explaining what the reasons are for.

Start out by saying, “Get my free ebook with insights and tips gleaned from 100’s of clients since 2008” or whatever is true. “Why do I want you to have these?”

Then go into the reasons. Obviously, the text I just wrote is off-the-cuff and not in your voice, so write your version of an intro, but you can see why need that. Great work so far!

The Full Question: Contact Page draft:“If you have any queries or if you would like to share something with me, I would love to hear from you. If we were meeting in person, we could sit and have a cup of tea together and share what is going on for you and what you want. But, being that we are not meeting in person and this is just a web page, I would like to know how you are feeling and what thoughts are coming up as you read my web pages. I know one can feel tender and shy about opening up and sharing with someone you have never met or even asking questions, and yet, I am hoping that you will do your best and push through this and give me as much information as you can or whatever you are wanting to share with me. The more information and detail you give me, the easier it is for me to help you.”

Daniela Mannucci
Via Frugoni 15/5
16121 Genova, Italy
Mobile: +39 340 745 0310
Email: danielamannucci@yahoo.co.uk

Daniela Mannucci
C/O Studio Innatura
Via Milano 20, Bormio
(SO) – 23032
Mobile – +39 340 745 0310
Email: danielamannucci@yahoo.co.uk

Answer: At heart, I like what you’ve written. Some comments:
– It’s a big paragraph. Break it up into multiple, smaller paragraphs.
– The language is sometimes a bit repetitive, “If we were meeting in person… but, being that we are not meeting in person…” There’s no need to repeat the language like that. Something very simple like, “Ah, because this is a web page, we can’t sit and have a cup of tea, but I still would like to hear how you are feeling as you read through this site.” Look for other places where you can cut down on the language.

In general, well done!

The Full Question: I feel like this invites them into starting the conversation. Is this too much work for them at this stage of the game?
First draft of a possible format: https://deeprootssandbox.wordpress.com/wellness-self-assessment/Submission of this form would then lead them to a Thank you response and an invitation to sign up for the Ritual of the Month Club or to opt out of the Ritual of the Month Club. Are these too many steps?I am aware of the internal duality in the Ritual of the Month Club – I’m finding myself excited and inspired by the thought of it, yet I find myself incredibly vulnerable about the thought of it and fear that this vulnerability is going to get in the way of my comfort in broadcasting the website – which I really need to not happen. Perhaps some remembrance would be helpful here?
Answer: I hear you! I think the vulnerability comes from having the process a bit backwards, or at least it contributes to it.You should start people with the ritual of the month opt-in, and then, for those who have opted-in, you can invite them to take the assessment. Otherwise, there will be many people who might love to be in your ritual of the month club, who aren’t interested yet in taking the wellness assessment, and you’ll lose them.Plus, the Wellness Assessment, as your vulnerability indicates, is a much deeper and bigger commitment to vulnerability, than to simply sign up for something.I love the concept of the ritual of the month club. I’m wondering if that’s the right name, thinking of “club” and thinking of “of the month.” You might, at some point, decide to change the frequency the emails you send out, or the rituals you do, and then you’d have to change the name to “ritual of the week” or something else, which could be confusing.Also, “club” connotes a certain commitment, joining a club, and I’m wondering if that’s more of a membership-style thing. Instead, you could say something like “Everyday Ritual Community” or “The Sacred Everyday Community.” Using “community” takes the commitment down a notch or two. Just two things to think about.

The Full Question: If this is all sounding right to you so far then let’s stay in touch. I’d love to send you occasional bits of information about the body and health, stuff about how your body works, how to take care of it, how to get lots of living done without pain…that sort of thing.I also want to give you my free self guided journey toward more vibrant health (hint: it’s about helping you envision a destination where your health supports your dreams and values). I think it’s really helpful for laying the groundwork for a path forward from here, and may even get you part way there…just by helping you get clear on what you want.

You can fill in this form and the vibrant health handbook will show up in your inbox along with occasional other cool tidbits.
Name_______ Email________
Your email will be safe with me and you can stop receiving stuff from me anytime you want.

Answer: Simple, direct, clear. It would be good, eventually, to have someone read your free guide, and give a testimonial to it on this page. I’d also like you to be more clear about what “occasional” means. When you work on Heart-Centered Article Writing later in this program you’ll hear our discussion and teaching around frequency, so you may come back and edit this a little bit in that vein. But, for now, my mind as reader wants to know if “occasional” means once every six months, or once a week. 🙂

The Full Question: I’m feeling confused about what my offer is.
Answer: Remember the intention behind it all, and don’t get too caught up at the surface level. You are offering help to people. The newsletter is one way of delivering help, so is a free resource. The intention behind having an immediately accessible download along with the newsletter is so that if someone finds you at 2 a.m. and needs help, they can get something immediately, rather than waiting until the next time you send a newsletter.

It’s not necessary to have a free download, and it can help, because of the immediacy of it.

The Full Question: SIGN UP PAGE:Why did we decide to give away this particular e-book for free?

There are a few reasons. First, we realize that our approach to advocacy is different than most that focus on training the individual in advocacy tactics. In our experience learning just the tactics is not enough or even the hardest part of advocacy. Because we want you to be successful we wanted to share with you a complete picture of what it takes.

We also know that because our approach is different it can be hard to make an important decision without getting more information on whether it might be a good fit for your organization. You’re busy and want sometime to read and understand before making a decision. So we wanted to give you a preview to help you understand and decide if we seem like a good fit because we know there are a lot of priorities competing for your organization’s time and attention.

Just fill in this form and get this free e-book and every month you’ll get additional tips and insights from us to help you develop your advocacy

We won’t ever share with your email with anyone. And you can unsubscribe at any time.

Answer: Please hear me with a lot of compassion and empathy, and I want to be clear and direct so you can get this done in a really effective way. You’re doing work that feels really important and I want people to get it from you.

When I read this page, I immediately notice that you’re talking about yourself a lot, and wanting them to read it so they understand you, that’s the biggest idea that comes through. “Please read this so you’ll get us and what we do.”

Can you, as an exercise, rewrite this without talking about yourself at all? Instead, if they never hired you or saw you again, what would be the benefit to them of reading it? Why is this such a good thing for them to work with? How is it that this is a gift to them for their benefit? Answer questions like that, and see how it lands.

The Full Question: I would love feedback. Is this too much? Or is it fine to put everything I do in here?

Answer:
How You can Move from Overwhelm to Relief – Products and ServicesHere’s a taste of the different ways I can help you find relaxation and relief.One on One Lifestyle CoachingAre you looking for ways to have more control over your health and how you feel? Most likely you have tried a number of different ways to get a handle on this, but are still feeling that something is missing.The reason why you may not have gotten the results from the different methods that you have tried is that they all address just one aspect of who you are. In order for a change to happen, there is a need to look at ALL of you – emotionally, physically and spiritually. There is a balance of these three aspects of ourselves that is needed. The balance for each individual is different. It is important to truly understand yourself as an individual, understand your unique balance and then intentionally bring that in.Join me in a program designed specifically for you. Together we will discover who you are as an individual, body, mind and spirit, and you will learn what you need to do personally to start bringing your health into your own hands.Click here for more details.The Emotion Code
An energy healing technique that assists in identifying and releasing trapped emotions that are stored in the body. These trapped emotions result from past events and their presence in the body can cause physical discomfort, depression and anxiety, they can block love and happiness and may result in a feeling of disconnection. Releasing these trapped emotions shifts the conditions in the body, allowing it to be in a better place to heal both physically and emotionally.
Investment:
Initial Consult 45 minutes – $50; Subsequent sessions 30 minutes – $35
Click here for more details.Individual Astrology Consultation
Utilizing the birth chart as a map in order to discover a greater awareness of who we are while learning to recognize our natural inclinations and tendencies. Astrology is not about fate, but about knowledge. Once we understand how our natural self has contributed to the choices and habits that we currently engage in, we gain an awareness that assists in making different choices so we may have different, happier, more joyful results that lead to a life of fulfillment.
Investment of $95 includes preparation, consult and recording of consult which is emailed directly to you at the end of the session. Session time is about 75 minutes.
Click here for more details.Bodywork
A variety of ways to soothe and heal the physical and emotional body. Click each treatment to be guided to a page to learn more.
Reiki
Aromatherapy Massage
Bliss Therapy Treatment
Abhyanga Massage
Shirodhara Treatment
Thai Yoga Massage
Yoga Classes
Bring healing into your body through movement and breath. Click each offering to learn more.
Yin Yoga
Yoga Nidra
If you would like some guidance or have questions around what may be the best choice for you, please enter your information below and I will get back to you within 48 hours (at the most!).
Name:
Email:
Comments/Questions: Comments:
Hmmm. Your writing is fine, and yet… This is a lot. I wonder how you can best organise this information to make it most accessible for your readers?And, beyond just the presentation, this brings up some deeper questions about how you deliver your services:If you move out of a focus on modalities and into a focus on helping your clients solve their problems and achieve their goals, the way you organise your products and services can take on a whole different angle.You have a lot of skills here and I think you might want to get creative about how you package these skills beyond the separate modalities… For example, if you think that most of your bread and butter income is going to come from Coaching, you could include The Astrology Reading in a Premium version of your coaching package.Similarly with Bodywork, what if you packaged your services according to what your clients most need (relaxation? Rejuvenation? Remedial?) rather than the modalities… Then let yourself use any combination of those modalities within the Bodywork sessions that they purchase. If possible, move away from offering single sessions as the standard, and focus on 3 session to 3 month packages that include combinations of your skills.… Your Services page could look completely different depending on where you go with the concept I’ve just presented… So, see what you can do with it and share your next draft for feedback.

The Full Question: I have resubmitted my draft of my Products and Services Page. I would love your feedback:Products and Services page
How You can Move from Overwhelm to Relief – Products and Services
Here’s a taste of the different ways I can help you find exactly what you need:
Relaxation:
When you need to take some time for yourself, to let go of the tension, to become less rigid and more at ease, this is the place to start. You receive a series of three 90 minute massages tailored specifically for you. The combination may include deep tissue massage, thai yoga massage, aromatherapy massage or massage with reiki.
3 90 minute sessions for $280
Rejuvenation:
You have learned how to take time for yourself and know how to relax, and now you are ready to find new vigor and to feel uplifted. The rejuvenation package includes a 90 minute massage, an Ayurvedic hot oil body treatment and an aromatherapy session, all specifically formulated to move you to the next level.
3 sessions for $325
Comment: Great. Perhaps you can find a different phrase here than “move you to the next level”, though. Focus on something that relates back to your theme of rejuvenation.
Draft continues:
Renewal:
You feel a need to restore a sense of freshness to your life. The Renewal package consists of three treatments that will help you feel like new. Included are the Ayurvedic Bliss Therapy Treatment, an Emotion Code Session and an Astrology consultation.
3 sessions for $325
Rebirth:
When you are tired of feeling overwhelmed and are ready to make a complete, but supported change, the Rebirth package is for you. This package will enable you to emerge into a new state of being.
Every package begins with a 30 minute consultation so that together we can come up with a program that will best help you reach your desired outcome in a way that feels best to you. Included is a combination of the following:
Ayurvedic consult
How and What you Eat
Astrology consult
Emotion Code sessions
Bliss Therapy Treatment
Bodywork
Aromatherapy
Yoga/Meditation
12 Sessions $1200
If you would like some guidance or have questions around what may be the best choice for you, please enter your information below and I will get back to you within 48 hours (at the most!).
Name:
Email:
Comments/Questions:

Answer:
These packages look great.
What do you think about ordering them this way:
Renewal
Rebirth
Rejuvenation
Relaxation
… Rather than presenting the basic massage package as your foundational program, you might be considering that Rebirth is your Foundational program – the one you want most of your clients in. Renewal is a great introduction to that. And Rejuvenation and Relaxation are wonderful add-ons for clients pre- or post- the Renewal program….

The Full Question: I love this idea of packages and selling a “result”. I do have a question about some of the other things that I offer – such as my yoga nidra classes … I always send out an email invite for those classes (to my email list) so is it fine if I don’t have them listed separately on my website, because once someone is on my list they will receive the invites? What are your thoughts about that?

Answer: Hm, good question. If you have a lot of offerings already, I can see why you may want to leave it out. On the other hand, if someone is googling “yoga classes in [my city]” they might end up on your website if you have your classes there.
Best way to approach this is probably to have it on a separate tab and page to your services. So your menu might look like this:
Home, Is This You, How It Works, Blog, Services / Healing, Classes, About, Contact.

The Full Question: I changed the wording a gazillion times…trying to make it clear they’d be “headed toward Salem” by signing on. Are the offerings clear? I can’t even tell anymore! Text: Alchemist Eating – Products & ServicesWhether you can get to our clinic…or are seeking long-distance support, we have a selection of packages to help you get where you want to be with food, eating and health.
Eating for Health, Eating for You: Alchemist Eating starter package. In-person or long-distance sessions.
Are you unhappy with your weight, struggling with an eating addiction, or “just” wanting to eat healthier in order to look and feel better?
This package will get you started with changing your eating patterns and and taking supported steps toward your desired destination with food, eating and health.
The focus is on figuring out where you are and where you want to be—then setting off on a clear path to get you there. Click here for details.
Note: Completion of Eating for Health, Eating for You is a prerequisite for enrolment in our other packages.From Diet to Lifestyle: Achieving sustained success. In-person or long-distance sessions.
Ultimately, you’re looking for a realistic lifestyle that you can sustain over the long term—not just a “diet” or set of “food rules.”
Whether you’re working to change your weight, overcoming an eating addiction, or “simply” learning how to eat healthier, the process doesn’t have to be—absolutely shouldn’t be—miserable.
This package will help you reach and maintain your goals around food, eating and health in a way that is sustainable, enjoyable and full of abundance—not deprivation. Click here for details.Staying the Course: Reassessment & renewal
Though you’ve made major changes in food and eating patterns, the path to success usually sees ups and downs. And—let’s face it—life, work and situations beyond our control sometimes get in the way.
This package is here to help you navigate the tough spots and stay the course toward your desired destination with food, eating and health.
The focus is figuring out where you are and what you need in this moment—then plotting doable actions to get you back on track (or offer extra support so you can keep on going). Click here for details.Paleo Bootcamp: Supported 30-day elimination diet. In-person or long-distance sessions.
Sticking to strict eating guidelines for a full 30 days can bring lasting, fundamental shifts in your relationship with food and eating. Indeed, a short-term “elimination diet” is the gold-standard test for determining how different foods affect each individual and for truly learning how “clean eating” feels.
Perhaps you already realize this, but tackling it on your own is daunting. Maybe you’ve even given 30-day elimination diets a go…but going it alone was difficult, isolating and not so fun.
We’re here to support you through your 30-day “self-experiment,” easing the way with a dietary framework and sense of play—plus ongoing guidance, feedback and strategies for success. Click here for details.

Answer: Yes, they are clear and strong. Really, they seem effective to me!I think an improvement might be including the length of each program, or at least comparative length. The first one is a prerequisite- is it a single session? Is it a week? The course correction- is that a few weeks or a month?For Staying the Course, what would make me know I want to take it? If I see challenges coming up, or if I find myself in the midst of challenges?Again, it’s really pretty clear already. I think you could put up some guidance, similar to “Step 1: The Starter PackageStep 2: From Diet to LifestyleStep 3, If Needed: When things get rough.That kind of clarity will help me in approaching the list of offerings, so I can read them from the perspective you want me to have. Right now I read through them as if I were reading a menu, seeing what I want, when you’re actually really clear about what each person should take and when.Great job, though! Just that tweak should make a big difference in clarity.

The Full Question: To newsletter sign up, for instance, if they want to get started that way? Or to my About page? Or to Is This You?
Answer: The Products and Services page doesn’t need a direct call to action like that, because the intention here is to guide them into one of the offerings. If none of the offerings fit them, you may want to invite them, at the end of the page, into a conversation with you. “Curious about which one best fits your situation? Why don’t we have a short chat?” Or something like that.

The Full Question: Or should we just link to it in newsletters? And/or at the end of blog posts?
Answer: No, we don’t have you directly link to Products & Services from within the text of the other pages. Products and Services will be found in the navigation menu, and that’s fine. It can be too easy for someone to get lost clicking through offers before they even know who you are, which is why you want to focus on inviting them to connect with you more deeply through a subscription.

If they are ready to work with you, or just curious, they can easily find the page in the navigation bar, and that’s enough.

The Full Question: Help! Is there anyone I could just talk too?
For those moments when your head is about to explode here is:
Spiritual Mentoring
A time during the week to come home offered in three forms to fit your needsI need it now!
-a 5 session package of times to be together and go deeper. Use this when you want immediate relief and supportive exploration through a spiritual perspective. Click here for more detailI need a breath!
-once a month sessions to provide consistency and support for long standing situations such as illness, job change, relationship struggles, death, etc. Click here for more detailsRecharge!
-set up a session upon need at anytime. Use this when you need a reality check to regain your innate capacities to meet life with more love and grace. Click here for more details
Answer: When you ask for feedback, which we delighted to give, I want to hear you also sharing how you feel about the page, where you believe it’s strong, and where you think it needs help. That let’s us know what particular feedback you’re looking for, and that you’re using your critical thinking skills to learn about these pages.In terms of your page, it’s fairly clear, and I like the distinction you made between immediate, in-depth help, versus ongoing exploration. I think you might want to clarify about the 5 session package that perhaps it’s done intensively, over just a few weeks?

The Full Question: I know my massage/reiki offerings are pretty basic, but essentially that part of my business feels pretty full. I’m thinking specifically about the Yoga stuff.Could you look in Particular at the Four Month Yoga Journey? Is it too breezy? enough empathy?

Also the Private Lessons paragraph: is it safety creating but also let’s them know it essentially training wheels for the yogi?

Draft:
Renew You! Massage and Yoga – Products and Services

Your life is full and you have so many demands on your body and mind. Take a look through my offerings below and see what’s a good fit to bring a little relief into your life.

Individual Massage and Reiki Sessions

You’re sore or aching, maybe even in pain. Or maybe you’re just so busy and stressed that you’re dying for a chance to relax, reconnect to your body and really feel replenished. Massage and Reiki can be a game changer for chronic pain. Click here for more details.

Four Month Yoga Journey – Weekly, small group Kundalini Yoga and Meditation Classes with an additional one-on-one consult with me.

The status quo has got-to-go. You’re sore, stressed and you feel like you’re loosing yourself in the swirl of everyday life. This small, supportive class give you a chance to deeply relax and reset yourself for the week ahead. This class is a lifeline for a busy life or a time of transition. If you really want to make a change in your health or your spirit, a longer term, weekly commitment like this will give you the support and structure to get started. Click here for more details.

Monthly Drop-in Kundalini Yoga and Meditation Class – A beginner friendly, all-level class.

You’re really interested in yoga and meditation, and you have a hunch it’s what your body and spirit needs, but you have so many questions and you’re worried it wont be a good fit. This class is a great way to test the waters, and get to know me better. It’s also a great option if you’re a former student who wants to stay connected even though your budget or schedule wont allow for a more intense commitment right now. Click hear for more details.

Deep Meditation Workshop – Monthly workshops.

You want to deepen your practice, but it’s so hard to carve out the time! Join a group of like-minded folks once a month for community, yoga and chance to go really deep with an extended meditation. It’s like clearing the cobwebs from your mind. Click here for more details.

Private Yoga and Meditation Lessons – One-on-one time with me.

You want to heal, limber up, and clear your mind, but you’re not sure if yoga is possible for your body. You have a complicated health history or other physical limitations, and you need some individual attention to find out how yoga and meditation can work for you in your situation. The goal if Private Lessons is to teach you the individual modifications you need to practice safely and built up a little confidence, so you can comfortably transition to a group setting. In one of the group classes you’ll the benefit from the energy of practicing in a group and also be part of a community of fellow yogis. Click here for more details.

Kundalini Yoga at the Auburn YMCA – Weekly drop-in yoga class.

You know you need to relax, but you budget is tight and your schedule is unpredictable. This Thursday night, 6 pm class is free for Y members and open to the community for small fee. The Y offers a child watch program as well. While the drop-in format makes this class a great place to just test things out, make no mistake, this class can also form the basis of a meaningful practice. Click here for more details.

Cloth Menstrual Pads – Products for sale at my office.

There’s room for improvement in the world menstrual and incontinence pads (Ahem, understatement of the century…). If you’re totally over the discomfort, cost, and environmental impact of disposable pads; give green, body-positive cloth a look. Click here for more details.

Grandpa’s Garden Heat Packs – Products for sale at my office.

Ok, let’s face it: that back, neck or shoulder is acting up almost every day. These Maine-made, microwavable heat packs are a great way to sooth muscles and joints at the end of a long day, or to loosen up them up at the start of new one. Heat is your friend, and it’s a cheap one too. They can also be stored in the freezer for cold therapy. Click here for more details.

Answer: I like this page. You have personality and an open feeling in your writing that is very attractive to read. I think you could organize it slightly, because you have drop-in classes mixed in with more intense offerings, and the one-on-one- it all feels jumbled together. You may want to divide it up in some way, for instance like this: “get a taste- drop in classes” “go deeper- regular classes” and “the deep dive, one-on-one help.” Or another organizing principle that makes more sense.

I don’t know what your full intention is for your one-on-one, but you state the intention is to help people transition to group classes. Don’t push people away so quickly. There may be people with the preference, and budget, to work with you privately. That can be very fulfilling and a great source of revenue, so don’t close the door to that.

Well done!

The Full Question: In the audio, Steve lists five components (title, format, who it’s for, what is the problem, link) but the pdf workbook had a more narrative approach and I didn’t really see the who or what stated as clearly. I am not sure I have the who it’s for clear as I sort of combined the who and the what. Do you think that both elements are clear? I tried to create a framework of empathy at the top of the page in the section under services.SERVICES

These days there is SO MUCH out there. So many options. So much advice.

It’s easy to feel scattered and to even lose track of how you’re doing and of what’s really helping you heal.

What you need is real support. Someone who can help you heal AND help you figure out what is and isn’t working based on your particular health and wellness goals.

Everyone I work with starts with a New Patient Appointment. You can contact me to schedule an appointment.

Or if you’re not sure that’s the right next step for you, let’s setup a time to talk in-person or by phone.

NEW PATIENT APPOINTMENT (YOUR INITIAL VISIT)
2-hour in-person appointment

This option is appropriate if you are struggling with anxiety, depression, digestive disorders, migraines, women’s health issues, autoimmune disorders, or pain, to name a few common conditions that I treat.

This option also works if you’re in relatively good health but want to make some small adjustments or just keep the goodness going.

Details and fees for new patient appointments can be seen here.

If you’re still wondering if acupuncture is right for you, please Contact Me to book a Free Consultation.

EXISTING PATIENT APPOINTMENTS

STAIRWAY TO WELLNESS FIVE SESSION PACKAGE
5 Weekly 75-minute in-person appointments

This is the best option if you are struggling with a long-term (more than a year) health concern and want to make real progress with your health.

“Stepping up” and making a commitment to really take care of yourself and your health can provide a lot of relief and is a great step towards feeling better again.

Details and fees for the Stairway to Wellness Package can be seen here.

SINGLE SESSIONS (FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENTS)
60 minute in-person appointment

Single sessions are appropriate if you are in relatively good health and you want to maintain the progress we’ve made together so far.

Single sessions are also available for patients who are interested in “wellness” visits, or who want to use acupuncture to prevent the development of illness.

Information about fees for follow-up sessions can be seen here.

Answer: That’s great that you thought it was Steve on the audio! Evidently we have completed our merging. 🙂 The audio is actually me, Mark, teaching a previous class.

I think you’ve done a great job with the services page, actually. It’s clear and strong. The only thing I want to raise a concern about is this:

“Everyone I work with starts with a New Patient Appointment. You can contact me to schedule an appointment.

Or if you’re not sure that’s the right next step for you, let’s setup a time to talk in-person or by phone.”

I encourage you to take a strong stand. Where else would a new patient start? Take out the second line “Or if…” Under the New Patient appointment you already give them the option for a free consult if they aren’t sure about acupuncture. Don’t give them any other outs.

Great job!

The Full Question: Should I include that in the package stuff too? It’s on the description page of the package. I know it seems obvious that you have to see me for an initial appointment before you can do a followup but people sometimes think the initial appointment is included in the package (it is not) or they very occasionally try to skip the new patient appointment with the higher fee. Do you think I have this info placed at the right place (under services at the top of the page?)SERVICES

These days there is SO MUCH out there. So many options. So much advice.

It’s easy to feel scattered and to even lose track of how you’re doing and of what’s really helping you heal.

What you need is real support. Someone who can help you heal AND help you figure out what is and isn’t working based on your particular health and wellness goals.

Everyone I work with starts with a New Patient Appointment. Contact me to schedule an appointment.

Or if you’re not sure that’s the right next step for you, let’s setup a time to talk in-person or by phone.

NEW PATIENT APPOINTMENT (YOUR INITIAL VISIT)
2-hour in-person appointment

This option is appropriate if you are struggling with anxiety, depression, digestive disorders, migraines, women’s health issues, autoimmune disorders, or pain, to name a few common conditions that I treat.

This option also works if you’re in relatively good health but want to make some small adjustments or just keep the goodness going.

Details and fees for new patient appointments can be seen here.

If you’re still wondering if acupuncture is right for you, please Contact Me to book a Free Consultation.

EXISTING PATIENT APPOINTMENTS

STAIRWAY TO WELLNESS FIVE SESSION PACKAGE
5 Weekly 75-minute in-person appointments

This is the best option if you are struggling with a long-term (more than a year) health concern and want to make real progress with your health.

“Stepping up” and making a commitment to really take care of yourself and your health can provide a lot of relief and is a great step towards feeling better again.

Details and fees for the Stairway to Wellness Package can be seen here.

SINGLE SESSIONS (FOLLOW-UP APPOINTMENTS)
60 minute in-person appointment

Single sessions are appropriate if you are in relatively good health and you want to maintain the progress we’ve made together so far.

Single sessions are also available for patients who are interested in “wellness” visits, or who want to use acupuncture to prevent the development of illness.

Information about fees for follow-up sessions can be seen here.

Answer: I think you’ve been very clear with it, I don’t think there’s a need to take a stronger approach here. As I said in the answer to the question above, take out the wording of “Or if…” Right there you’re giving them the idea that they don’t have to start with the New Patient intake session.

The Full Question: I saw in the week fifteen Q&A that you recommend to someone that their free consult is the first thing listed on their services page but I have the free consultation as a stand alone page in a drop down menu under the services page. The services page has three offers: new patient appointment, returning patient appointment, five session package for those with chronic health concerns. I put the free consultation as its own page because you do not have to do a consultation in order to book your new patient appointment so I didn’t want to confuse people by having the free consult on the services page. I also didn’t want to dissuade people who are ready to book by having the free consultation listed first on the services page (which is where it would logically be). I also wanted the free consult to be visible/noticeable so I included it in the drop-down menu on the navigation bar as a separate service.On my services page, under new patient appointment I have a “still not sure acupuncture is right for you? click here for a free consultation” just in case someone isn’t sure they want to book.

What do you think is most effective in terms of placement?

Answer: It depends what you are wanting. If you find that a high percentage of people have no trouble booking the first paid session, then sure, leave it at the bottom. However, I think you’re concern that you would dissuade people from booking directly is a red herring, mainly because you have an intention to increase a certain kind of client, namely the distant clients (Yes, I read the rest of the check-in.).

So, I wouldn’t be concerned about it. The best way to book people is to get them to talk to you, then get them scheduled for an initial paid visit. Stick with that until it becomes burdensome and you are clear that your flow is working. Then you can consider changing it.

Answer: No. I generally don’t advise people publish prices on the Products/Services page, but rather at the bottom of each sales page/landing page. This is because the price is a lightning rod, as I explain in this article:
https://www.heartofbusiness.com/2007/whether-or-not-to-publish-your-prices/ It can be too easy for someone to see a price and a short description of the offer, and steer away. rather than really getting what the offer is, and how the price relates to the fullness of it.

The Full Question: I may be getting ahead of myself…the work so far is focused around private clients, however my business is also geared to people who want to learn meditation or get certified or trained to do what I do…do I need a separate website for each? How would you handle the different avenues of this kind of business – privates (yoga therapy or meditation), yoga and meditation certification programs.

I want to start the process of getting my programs online i.e. seated warriors (chair yoga for seniors or veterans or anyone who can’t get up and down plus Chair Yoga and Balance certification programs. I understand I need more of a marketing foundation but I also need to understand the elements involved and costs so I can research and create an action plan.
From your experience – what would be the different elements to consider an online program and the different costs to consider. Or can you direct me to a person who actually does this for a living – getting an online business up and running

Answer:
We went into these questions in good depth on the coaching call – it makes sense to offer your programs under one umbrella in a consecutive way, and – yes – it would be brilliant to create an online program. One option is to create a Membership structure, where folks can participate in your downloadable video program and then become members of a club which would continue to offer regular training and support. Has this answer provided enough of the detail you are looking for? If you wish to post the question again with further specific questions, please do.

The Full Question: Many acupuncturists see multiple people in an hour, running two rooms – they put the needles in and then go work with somebody else. My training involves being present for the entire session, either working with the needles the entire time, or holding meditative space while the needles are in. This seems like an important thing to highlight, but I’m not sure where to fit it in. Does it go in my services page, in the description of a treatment? Is this enough of a highlight? Does it add too much content to a page that is supposed to be short and sweet? Maybe it goes in the About Lucy page, although it’s not the flavor of the current content, and that page also seems to be pushing long to me. For context:
https://deeprootssandbox.wordpress.com/options-for-care/
About Lucy
Answer: The first link, “options-for-care” come up “page not found,” so I was only able to see your “About Lucy” page.I think this is an important piece to add, for sure. I would want to highlight that on your services page that describes your treatments, when someone is reading about actually coming in to see you. Depending on how many services you have, it may not be on the top-level page, but rather the longer, more descriptive “landing” page that describes getting treatment from you.

The Full Question: Is this simply a tab in the menu to select? Is there a place where it is appropriate to direct people to the services page?
Answer: It’s simply a tab, and you will be linking to it in your newsletter. Our assumption is that people don’t always come in straight from the website, but need to get to know you, which is why we encourage you to point people at your newsletter.

However, it will be very visible as a tab if someone is interested in coming in more immediately.

The Full Question: I get super tangled when I try to shift it to another format.
https://deeprootssandbox.wordpress.com/services-2/I think one the things that I’m struggling with is the concept of “What Products am I Providing?” I’m not offering classes, workshops, books or other resources. Not without making radical changes to my business model (and that idea is enough to sink the ship, even if it is something to consider in the future). All I offer is treatments. Each treatment is unique for the person. How do I make a P&S page for multiple products and services that is different from multiple landing pages? The P&S page is feeling incredibly overwhelming to me and I can’t quite figure out why I am so lost. Is there something I’m missing here?
Thank you.
Answer: The way you have it is not wrong or bad. If you feel strongly about it, and the other way feels confusing, then go with what you have, especially if it’s working, or feels like it could work.The one thing I would add is a more in-depth description of what a treatment session is like. I would also add a brief intake form on that page, if you can have someone install a form for you, that lets people make an initial inquiry, telling you their contact information, a little bit about their health, what brings them to reach out, where they heard about you, and any questions they have.Also, you have that large box describing acupuncture, and the text is just very large compared to the rest of the text. I would want it more in balance. It gives an outsized emphasis to those descriptions of treatment which we find are actually less important to people than some of the other information you have.I hope this simplifies and untangles some of your confusion about this page.

The Full Question: Do I still need an Offers page and a landing page? Isn’t the whole website doing that job?
www.onehealthmassage.com
Answer: You do. If you read page 20-23 in Heart-Centered Websites, you’ll see that most people don’t come to your website and immediately become clients. And, the questions that the Basic 8 pages are answering is different from an in-depth offer page, that describes what it’s like to work with you in more depth.Your offers page could be your landing page- that is, instead of having an offers page that links to a landing page, you could just have a “work with me” page.And, you may benefit at some point from taking Sacred Selling, either as a stand-alone or as part of Foundations1, so you can create an offer package of sessions, rather than just selling your sessions one-by-one. There are a ton of reasons for this, including not making the client make a purchasing decision each time, but instead letting her or him relax into the container of being cared for over time.

The Full Question: Writing “sales” pages: Hey fellow hearts: does anyone have a good resource for writing a “sales” page? I want to write a page giving info about my free offer (in other words, a landing page for it) and would like some guidance. I’m especially interested in something free, or low-cost, that helps me get the job done now, not so much a learning program. Looking forward!

Answer: It’s a great question! I realize we put it in Week 14 on the Downloads page in response to a coaching question a few months ago from another participant… but it doesn’t make any sense being there! Who would find it?
We also added it to Week 11, within the Websites, section, so you can find it there. ?

The Full Question:
[She used the Quick and Clean sales page PDF available in Week 11.]This program is for the business line that focuses on supporting yoginis and spiritual seekers in bridging the gap between spiritual practice and life. It will have a free option (everything included) and a fee-based option that includes all the same materials in addition to one-on-one time with me.
Mark’s Comments: Are you sure you want a “free” option? Or just a lower cost option? It can be challenging to convert from free to paid, but often not as challenging to convert from paying to a higher fee for more help.
Continuing the sales page:
Deepening your practice: Inspiration for bringing yoga philosophy to lifeFor yoga students and teachers who
• know there is more to yoga than postures
• want to deepen their practice and understanding of yoga philosophy
• yearn to embody yogic values more fully in everyday life.How are you living the yogic values that inspire you? How connected are you with what your bodily wisdom has to offer about what really matters to you? Do you want guidance for living a more integrated and meaningful life? Sign up [link] to get 1st dibs on my 6-week free home-study course! You will get first notice when registration opens.1. An empathetic description of the problem from their perspective.
In yoga classes, teacher trainings or retreats you’ve heard the terms yama and niyama. You’ve read about, and been inspired by, concepts like non-harming, non-grasping, and celibacy but you wonder how they apply in everyday life. You’re not living in an ashram and maybe you don’t have regular access to a teacher, so how do you deepen your practice and make these ethical precepts your own?2. What they’ve tried that doesn’t work.
If you’re a yoga student, you’ve probably been to a number of retreats, or read many books on the subject. You know lots about the concepts but get stuck trying to implement them. Or you are really good at them, and practice intensely for a bit, but then get fed up because it’s too hard or too discouraging to go it alone.3. Why the usual solution(s) they’ve tried don’t work.
The truth is, these ethical precepts are relational. They are meant to be understood in practice, in context, with regular svadhyaya (self-reflection) and support.4. What they really need to do (how it really works.)
What you really need is a structure that supports you in going deeply into the concept as it relates to you and your life, and that enables you to then carry that learning forward into life.5. Why you are so good at providing what they really need to do.The free, six-week program provides you with self-guided mini-retreats and daily practices for six weeks of experiential learning.(Product summary)
Bringing Yoga Philosophy to Life will furnish everything you need to provide yourself with six individually-themed weekly mini-retreats on yoga’s ethical precepts, and structures for keeping your practice growing. You’ll receive a x-page guidebook inspiring and helpful materials, an introduction to the basic concepts of yoga philosophy and ethics, mini-retreat outlines and instructions, weekly journals with theme-related prompts, audio recordings each week to guide your practice, and a simple and gentle yoga practice.
Mark’s Comments: It’s all reading well at this point. I just still have the question about why you’re offering it for free? What’s the strategy? If you are offering these six email sessions as a way to get people to opt-in to your list, that can be a great strategy, in which case I wouldn’t offer two options, the work with you and the free. Rather I would just offer the free version, and after people are signed up, then you can offer deeper work with you as you send out emails to them.Also, if it’s a free offering, it means your sales page can be much shorter and to the point, because the decision you are asking them to make is a much smaller commitment.
Continuing the sales page:
What do you get with this program? (Product details)The program is designed with two emails a week. The first one, which arrives on Fridays, provides you with links to the materials for the week, and the second serves as a gentle reminder so you can stay on track with the week’s activities.Week One: Intentions for the programGuidebook
In Week 1 you will receive a Getting Started guidebook, which introduces you to the program and provides all the foundational material you need to successfully complete the program. The Guidebook introduces the program and lets you know what to expect.The Guidebook will provide you with a rationale for the ethical foundations of yoga practice. You will be introduced to yoga in its widest sense, known as Patanjali’s Eight Limbs, which includes postures and so much more, giving you a context for this home study program. You will become familiar with the ethical foundations of yoga practice, called the yamas (restraints; pointers toward actions best avoided) and niyamas (observances; positive actions to cultivate). These foundations are applied in the arenas of body, speech and mind, and you will have the opportunity to explore these applications as you work through the program.The Guidebook also provides you with the reference materials you need, such as the text for guiding the self-inquiry (or pancamaya process) that will be fundamental to your work, and a basic yoga postures practice sheet. There is also a section for helpful hints and troubleshooting for when you get stuck.Other materials
Audio
You will receive an audio recording of a guided pancamaya process that you can use for your practice, if you prefer to be guided, rather than guide yourself using the text in the Guidebook.You will also receive an audio recording of a yoga nidra practice that includes a sankalpa (intention or resolution) directly related to bringing yoga practice to life. This is intended to be the last activity of the first week and sets the stage for the growth to come.Journal
You will receive a lovely .pdf journal with daily journaling prompts on the theme of the week that you can print out and fill in as you go through the reflections and exercises in the program. In Week One you will be preparing for your journey through the program so the prompts have to do with getting ready and setting intentions for the work to come.Email
Your first email will contain instructions for the first mini-retreat and daily practices, along with links to download the guidebook, journal and audio recordings for the week.
Weeks Two to Five:
Each week you will receive a journal, audio recording and two emails.
Email
Friday emails contain a brief reflection on an aspect of bringing yoga practice to your life, instructions for the weekly mini-retreat and daily practice, and links to download the journal and audio recording for the week. Wednesday emails will remind you to stay on track with a dose of inspiration.
Journal
Each week’s journal includes the text for self-guiding the pancamaya process on the theme of the week for use during your weekly mini-retreat, as well as a page for each day with journaling prompts.
Audio
A recording of the guided pancamaya process, in case you prefer to be guided rather than reading the text yourself. These recordings are different each week to reflect the different themes and emphasis of the specific week. They are intended for use during your weekly mini-retreat so you can develop a relationship to the week’s theme in preparation for bringing it to life.
Themes Weeks Two to Six
Week Two: Approaching yoga philosophy
Week Three: Relating yoga philosophy and life
Week Four: Obstacles and difficulties in bringing yoga philosophy to life
Week Five: Small steps forward to bring more yoga philosophy to life
Week Six: Harvesting and integration
Mark’s comments: Yes, just the same line of thought as before. If your strategy is to gain opt-ins, that’s fantastic, and this is a lot. If your intention is to generate income, then thinking through what kind of a price for something as comprehensive as you are offering here.
Continuing the sales page:
(“User Testimonials”)
Students who have attended the live classes that are structured exactly like this free program, and contain the same materials, have said:
“Trying to bring the inner aspects of yoga into my life in a committed way, on my own, just wasn’t working, so I had been keeping my eyes and ears open for a class that would add another dimension to my physical practice. This type of class is difficult to find.
Participating in Shulamit’s classes has given me the opportunity to make the ethics practices a part of daily life. I need the reminders it affords me. The guidance and direction for exploring each area we’ve covered so far has helped me see things a little more clearly, changing my perspective and broadening my view.”
Laurie Scott, yoga student, Kemptville
“I wanted to be able to support my students by more fully integrating yoga philosophy into practice as a teacher.
Because of the self-inquiry practice, on a personal level, the way I listen to people has changed; I am a more conscious listener. I am more compassionate, and calmer.
As a teacher, I can provide more potent support and a better container to my students before and after class. I can simply listen without needing to provide an answer or a solution. I now know just listening is healing and supportive.” Tricya Morrice, yoga teacher; manager, Bodhi Tree Yoga, Kemptville
“Now, after attending Shulamit’s classes, I have an understanding of the interplay between the yamas, niyamas and life. I can draw my experiences with yoga slowly out into my life. This class helps me create the conditions for living my practice.” Andrea Empey, yoga teacher and student, Iroquois, ON
Answer: It’s really a great page so far. You only need the bullet points if you are going to charge money for it. In fact, I would trim it down tremendously if it’s a free offer.
I would definitely lean toward making it a paid offer, and maybe offer the first week free as an opt-in invitation.
If you go that route, then to create bullet points, I’ll point you to a section of the advanced Heart-Centered Copywriting course, which describes how to create bullets that zing. Here’s a link to download, [https://www.heartofbusiness.com/membership/foundations2/PDF/hccopywriting2.pdf ] and we’ll add it to Week 11 as well.
Take a read through that PDF and see if you have any questions.
Also, for the testimonials, make sure you sprinkle them through the copy, and not just bunched at the end. I know the Quick and Clean lists the elements, and one thing that makes the testimonials more effective is to spread them out.

The Full Question: How am I getting any business at all??? My website is a mess when it comes to products & services!!!”Even just a general impression from someone objective would be helpful, though if you want to give specific feedback, I’d of course welcome that too. I should say that in working out these logistics I’m drawing on my experience of the past 6 months or so working with the packages as they are currently—and they need adjusting and definitely need to work differently for in-person vs. long-distance clients. Logistics: Eating for Health, Eating for You: Alchemist Eating starter package. In-person or long-distance sessions.
Are you unhappy with your weight, struggling with an eating addiction, or “just” wanting to eat healthier in order to look and feel better?
This package will get you started with changing your eating patterns and and taking supported steps toward your desired destination with food, eating and health.
The focus is on figuring out where you are and where you want to be—then setting off on a clear path to get you there.
Note: Completion of Eating for Health, Eating for You is a prerequisite for enrolment in our other packages.
Program length: 30 days
In-person option – $400
• Week 1: Initial 90-min. medical consult & assessment at Alchemist Clinic
• Weeks 2-4: Weekly 60-min. sessions at Alchemist Clinic
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements)
• Sessions include eating guidance, herbal diagnosis & acupuncture.
• You will receive an Alchemist Eating binder at the initial session.Long-distance option – $300
• Week 1: Initial 60-min. medical consult & assessment by phone/Skype
• Weeks 2-4: Weekly 30-min. sessions by phone/Skype
• Daily email check-in & feedback: Monday – Thursday
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements—drop-shipped to you directly)
• Sessions include eating guidance & herbal diagnosis.
• You will receive an Alchemist Eating binder in e-format after the initial session.From Diet to Lifestyle: Achieving sustained success. In-person or long-distance sessions.
Ultimately, you’re looking for a realistic lifestyle that you can sustain over the long term—not just a “diet” or set of “food rules.”
Whether you’re working to change your weight, overcoming an eating addiction, or “simply” learning how to eat healthier, the process doesn’t have to be—and absolutely shouldn’t be—miserable.
This package will help you reach and maintain your goals around food, eating and health in a way that is sustainable, enjoyable and full of abundance—not deprivation.
Note: Completion of Eating for Health, Eating for You is a prerequisite for enrolling in our other packages.
Program length: 60 days
In-person option – $700 (option to pay in 2 monthly instalments of $350 each)
• Weekly 60-min. sessions at Alchemist Clinic (8 sessions total)
• Weekly email check-in & feedback
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements)
• Sessions include eating guidance, herbal diagnosis & acupuncture.Long-distance option – $600 (option to pay in 2 monthly instalments of $300 each)
• Weekly 30-min. sessions by phone/Skype (8 sessions total)
• Daily email check-in & feedback: Monday – Thursday
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements—drop-shipped to you directly)
• Sessions include eating guidance & herbal diagnosis.Staying the Course: Reassessment & renewal
Though you’ve made major changes in food and eating patterns, the path to success usually sees ups and downs. And—let’s face it—life, work and situations beyond our control sometimes get in the way.
This package is here to help you navigate the tough spots and stay the course toward your desired destination with food, eating and health.
The focus is figuring out where you are and what you need in this moment—then plotting doable actions to get you back on track (or offer extra support so you can keep on going).
Note: Completion of Eating for Health, Eating for You is a prerequisite for enrolment in our other packages.
Program length: 30 days
In-person option – $400
• Week 1: Initial 90-min. medical consult & assessment at Alchemist Clinic
• Weeks 2-4: Weekly 60-min. sessions at Alchemist Clinic
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements)
• Sessions include eating guidance, herbal diagnosis & acupuncture.Long-distance option – $300
• Week 1: Initial 60-min. medical consult & assessment by phone/Skype
• Weeks 2-4: Weekly 30-min. sessions by phone/Skype
• Daily email check-in & feedback: Monday – Thursday
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements—drop-shipped to you directly)
• Sessions include eating guidance & herbal diagnosis.Paleo Bootcamp: Supported 30-day elimination diet. In-person or long-distance sessions.
Sticking to strict eating guidelines for a full 30 days can bring lasting, fundamental shifts in your relationship with food and eating. Indeed, a short-term “elimination diet” is the gold-standard test for determining how different foods affect each individual and for truly learning how “clean eating” feels.
Perhaps you already realize this, but tackling it on your own is daunting. Maybe you’ve even given 30-day elimination diets a go…but going it alone was difficult, isolating and not so fun.
We’re here to support you through your 30-day “self-experiment,” easing the way with a dietary framework and sense of play—plus ongoing guidance, feedback and strategies for success.
Note: Completion of Eating for Health, Eating for You is a prerequisite for enrolment in our other packages.
Program length: 45 days (building in time for preparation & reintegration)
In-person option – $500
• Week 1 – Preparation: 60-min. consult & assessment at Alchemist Clinic
• Weeks 2-5 – Implementation: Weekly 60-min. sessions at Alchemist Clinic (4 sessions total)
• Week 6 – Reintegration: 60-min. session at Alchemist Clinic
• Daily email check-in & feedback: Monday – Thursday
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements)
• Sessions include eating guidance & herbal diagnosis.Long-distance option – $400
• Week 1 – Preparation: 60-min. consult & assessment by phone/Skype
• Weeks 2-5 – Implementation: weekly 30-min. sessions by phone/Skype (4 sessions total)
• Week 6 – Reintegration: 60-min. session by phone/Skype
• Daily email check-in & feedback: Monday – Thursday
• Alchemist Clinic herbal medicine credit ($50 credit applicable towards prescribed herbs & supplements—drop-shipped to you directly)
• Sessions include eating guidance & herbal diagnosis.

Answer: I hear you! Don’t worry- you’ve got good stuff going on. And even with products and services being a mess, if you have strong connection and sacred selling skills, people will show up.As far as the logistics, you know your own business best. The logistics on these seem fine, if they are effective. I have two curiosities:
– Is there a good reason to have the long-distance and local options different prices and different session lengths? As a reader it makes me wonder. 90 minute versus 60 minute? 60 minute session versus 30 minute session? It would tempt me, even if I was local, to pick the long-distance option.If you are trying to encourage people to pick the long-distance option, then it’s a great strategy. If you’re not, then you might want to rethink it.- Is there a package you can create, with integrity, that lasts longer than 60 days? It’s just good for your business, and potentially for your clients if they need it, to be able to work with clients for longer term, if you want to. It creates more stable cash flow, and requires less enrollment.Woo-hoo! You’re doing it!

The Full Question: My current packages are listed 2 places on the site: here: http://alchemisteating.com/alchemist-eating/ and here: http://alchemisteating.com/book-a-session/So…should I put my Product & Services page where my Alchemist Eating page is currently (http://alchemisteating.com/alchemist-eating/)? And just totally cut the AE page as it is now? And should I replace the long-distance tab/page (it’s under the Work with Us tab on the homepage top bar: http://alchemisteating.com/long-distance-consults/) with a combined landing page listing all the new packages with the “logistics” (while working on individual landing pages in the meanwhile). Then have the “click here for details” call on the Products & Services page would direct to this new combined logistics/landing page?
Another option could be putting the Products & Services page where the Alchemist Eating page (http://alchemisteating.com/alchemist-eating/) is now…but instead of “click here for details” put “contact us for details,” linking to the contact page.
Sorry these questions are quite tedious—I’m in the throes of overwhelm over all this…

Answer: I can understand you feeling overwhelmed! First, I’d like you to just drop into your heart, and Remember…. there is no one right answer. You’re doing great! You can’t make a wrong choice, and you can always make it better later. :)So, I would recommend creating a products and services page that is the main funnel for everyone- I wouldn’t list them in different places- just direct people to the one page.Yes, writing sales pages for each of those offers will take awhile- at a minimum, probably 1-2 weeks for each offer, maybe longer depending on how you work with it. So, the good news is, with four basic offers, you can probably get it all done in 1-2 months! :)If you have an expanding text option on your website, where you can put logistics and details like that into an expandable text, that could work. Otherwise, it’s probably a little too much. It might be better to include very basic logistics on the page products & services page, just how long the program is, and then go over details with them in the initial conversation.Then, because the starter package is the prerequisite for everything else, I would work like the dickens to get at least that sales page done, even in a basic manner. Everyone will come through there, it seems, and then you’ll have plenty of time to walk people who are in that starter program through details of the next program.

 

Can you please give me some examples of a visual that I could use to represent my anxiety package please?

The Full Question:
I am starting to tackle the products and services page. You recommend having a photo/picture of the package next to the description. I’m a psychologist/kinesiologist and my package is a series of 1:1 sessions for anxiety. Can you please give me some examples of a visual that I could use to represent my anxiety package please? Thank you.
Answer:
Hm, well, who do you work with? And have you come up with a name for your 1:1 session package?The first image that came to mind for me was a briefcase. This would be appropriate if you were working with business people who are experiencing anxiety, and suggesting that the tools that you will be giving them will be practical, handy, and they can take them with them every day, to resource themselves, just like they would with a briefcaseFor non-business types, a handbag, pouch, or even gift-box, might also do the trick.Another symbol for an anxiety package might be a blue sky with a few white clouds, to symbolize a peaceful mind.Or a symbol of a heart – if your work helps people get out of their head and into their heart and body.Or a symbol of a healthy and flourishing tree, or some other plant that is grounded and thriving…Finally, a seedling growing towards light might also represent cracking out of a shell and hope for a brighter future.

The Full Question: Rather than paste the whole text here, I’ll just provide links:
This one is my new Products & Services page—the first and second packages link to landing pages: http://alchemisteating.com/products-and-services/
And these links go directly to the landing pages themselves:
http://alchemisteating.com/eating-for-health-eating-for-you/
http://alchemisteating.com/from-diet-to-lifestyle/I know I don’t have all the elements exactly right or in place, but as a first go (and model for my other landing pages for now), are these okay? 

I’m pretty happy with them as a first go, but I feel like I might be fooling myself. Some questions I’m working with: 

Should I put the titles of the packages at the top of the pages? Or leave off, as currently?For the starter package landing page, okay to start with the same question as the homepage?

For the continuation landing page, I feel like I over-use the word “sustain”—did it jump out at you in this way?Feels like a whole lot of words on the page…but I guess this is okay for landing pages?Should I add at least one picture to each page (for now, this would likely be the photos next to their titles on the Product and Services page)? For some reason, i’m resisting it—like it might be distracting and i want readers to concentrate on all those words.

Bullet points okay? Totally had fun creating these, but it was a first go at it, so I’m doubting myself with this element.I know I didn’t intersperse the testimonials as directed…or probably answer enough FAQs. But are those elements, as currently on my pages, okay for now?
Answer: Your Products and Services page looks good, actually. 3 things. First, you might create wider margins. The text spans widely, so my eyes have to travel horizontally and vertically. A little more narrow might help.Second, the images don’t tell me anything. I’d love to see a progression. Even if it’s one fork, to a fork and spoon, to fork spoon and knife. Something that lets me know the programs are different from one another.Third, you could add some text at the bottom “Not sure? Definitely start with Step 1. If you have a question or still aren’t sure, fill out the form below. Let’s have a chat.”Your sales pages are coming together great! I can’t give you a line-by-line in-depth edit here, but I’ll mention a few things that apply to both pages.
1. Move the “Our 30-day Eating For Health…” subhead up to just above “This is how we approach what’s happening…” You want people to get to that more quickly. It’s not an educational offer, it’s a program, and you want them to know that’s what they are reading as quickly as you can after the empathy.2. Have the form they need to fill out right there on the page. It will increase follow-through.3. Yes to more images. If you can get more graphics in there to break up the text. Your website has a nice spacious feel to it, but the grey text can be hard to read for those of us over 40. See if you can get your web designer to darken the text, and then to also add in some images- eye candy.The bullet points are great- I’m glad you had fun with them!Well done!

The Full Question:
http://alchemisteating.com/when-things-get-rough/
http://alchemisteating.com/paleo-bootcamp/Would love specific feedback. As for my thoughts on them…I think they are a good first go at it and I feel relieved they are in place. I worry about the amount of words…and yet I know certain elements are still missing or incomplete (e.g., interspersing testimonials throughout). I’m wondering if I need images…and I’m wondering whether the bullet points are okay. Also wondering whether I’ve sufficiently answered FAQs through the page content.
Answer: Similar to the pages I saw in your question just above, the same comments apply to these pages. They are strong pages, and clear, and I would make the same requests around images, adding the inquiry/question form to the page, and moving the title of the program/introduction higher up on the page to a similar place.When you get a chance, you may want to add a video to each page, just 1-2 minutes, so people can get a real sense of you.Another note: you may have your web designer create a page template for sales pages that doesn’t include a side bar, so it’s just a single wide-ish column, with a wide margin, so the column isn’t TOO wide. :)Great work!

The Full Question: http://www.umovebetter.com/individual-sessions/
I hope I’m not getting into techno speak when I describe what I do. These pages take me hours and days… but I keep on keepn’ on. 🙂
Answer: The page is pretty good- well done! 3 things you can do to improve what you have:1. The second subhead, “Is it possible to get rid of the pain and not have it happen again?” doesn’t match the paragraph following it. Meaning, you ask the question, but then the following two paragraphs don’t answer that question. You need to either answer the question, perhaps in a short third paragraph, “Yes, you can, but you need to go deep.” or something similar, or don’t ask the question at all, rewriting the subhead.2. The very next section, you briefly mention “unconscious patterns of movement.” but not enough for me to really understand what you’re talking about or trust it. The section after, “I’ve been there” goes into it a bit more, but still doesn’t land in a strong way.You may want to mention it briefly and say, “I’ll explain what I mean more below.” Then, after introducing it, perhaps right before the “What does a session look like” you can say, “But how does it work?” You can get into more detail about what underlying patterns mean, and how they change and why that’s important, with an example/testimonial/case history.I need to understand it it in a way that relates to my own body and experience.3. Once you do those tweaks, post it in the Community Facebook group, and just ask people NOT for editing, but simply if they have any questions that come up for them about your service that are unanswered in the copy. Collect those questions, and then weave the answers into the page.That will make a huge difference. And still, still, you’ve done a great job so far. If you launched it like this, with the first two tweaks, I think it would still be effective. The third step will help, but you don’t need to delay announcing the page until you do that, unless time is on your side.

The Full Question: http://www.umovebetter.com/moving-smarter-better-and-pain-free/awareness-through-movement-group-classes/Now I’m trying to write a landing page for my semi-private class. This is my favorite offer, people seem to connect more deeply with the lesson and I w/ them and it’s the most profitable. However it solves the same problems, it works the same way, it’s just I can’t seem to differentiate it from the large one in writing a new landing page.

Here’s the difference:
• 3-4 people only
vs the group class potentially of 15. But historically only 5-7 people. (Will stop these if the small groups take off)

• very serene and peaceful setting (this they’ve mentioned and really like)
vs an institution w/ noise in the hall, sometimes it’s too cold, there are no props like headrests for those that need it, sometimes the floor isn’t the most clean looking.

• Students are accountable. (they tell me when they aren’t coming)
Vs large class where they don’t feel accountable, show up or not. And people can drop in.

• Because there are only 3-4 people I can choose the lessons (exercises) based their needs. Which I’ve coined on the P&S page as a “custom program” http://www.umovebetter.com/moving-smarter-better-and-pain-free/.

It can’t be an exercise for just one person but I can still get a sense of an overall theme that would bring results and what lessons are safe for all. Sometimes all but one shows up and then it’s a private class designed for them.
Vs large: because people come and go I can never or rarely do any lessons that are more difficult physically or mentally.

• A wonderful supportive environment where people are comfortable in sharing what they notice and feel and what their issues are.
Vs large class: more impersonal.

• More attention, support and guidance from me

How then do I integrate this into a different sales page? Thanks.

Answer: My advice: drop the large class. Unless it’s *proven* itself as a way to bring in new people consistently, I wouldn’t continue to hold it.

Otherwise, just tweak the large group page and emphasize the custom, personal aspect of it, and the consistency of a group over time. Really lean into that. The experience of safety, the experience of a teacher who gets to know you and guide you, both will make a tremendous difference in impact on the reader/potential client.

The Full Question: I’ve been behind and distracted – did I miss something? Thanks!
Answer: You didn’t miss anything. We give you the template for the Quick & Clean landing page, but because it’s a process somewhat outside the scope of Foundations2, we don’t give time in the program to it.

Writing a sales page is a more intense process, and one that needs some time, and also if we were to promise feedback on it, would be way too intensive for us to go through dozens of sales pages every week.

Work with the template, and it will help! You’ve learned so many of the elements within other parts of the program, it shouldn’t be too hard to implement. 🙂

The Full Question: I am not entirely sure how I feel about the Keyholes/empathy that I give in the description. Is it too bland to draw people to a class? I also found myself using a lot of “we” language rather than “you.” Have I given away my authority?The description of a four class series:

Earth Meditations
Being outside somewhere beautiful fills the soul. It can be difficult to carry that sustenance through our daily, mostly indoors lives. These earth meditations will deepen our communion with the natural world, so we can more readily fill up on nature even inside.

Attuning to the deep time within nature can open your heart to connection with the whole of life. Your profound connection with the earth and your body, and through them the Divine, unlocks the essential wellspring of love energy that creates healing and justice.

Each month we will use our bodies and the simple acts of breath, drinking, eating, and lighting a candle as gateways to connecting with and praying through air, water, earth and fire.

Air:
It can be so hard to breathe deeply or catch our breath, especially in our busy lives. Yet each breath is an opportunity to experience the closeness of God, represented throughout the scriptures as bringing life through breath. We will use meditation focused on the breath to connect with the air, with all who share the air, and with spirit. Come explore how you can pray through breath.

Water:
We all need a wellspring of life energy. Water, the source of life, can guide us to discovering our inner reservoirs. Meditations based on the acts of drinking and washing will bring us into deeper connection with water, the watershed, and the water cycle. Come explore how you can pray through water.

Earth:
Earth connects us when we might otherwise be floating or swirling in our thoughts. Grounding ourselves as part of the clay and ashes of the earth brings us into deep communion. Through meditations based on eating and growing food we will deepen our relationship with earth. Come explore how you can pray through earth.

Fire:
The world needs your inner lamp to be burning brightly! Our individual sparks can be too easily extinguished if they are not connected to the light of the Divine. The light of a candle flame will be our entry point into meditations on the sun, the big bang, and the light of love within all things. Come explore how you can pray through fire.

Answer: First, great to take a stab at it! Secondly, note that the Heart-Centered Article Writing template is not the same as writing a course description or a sales page. In that case, you want to use the Quick & Clean Landing page content found on Week 14, under Heart-Centered Websites. The descriptions themselves are fine, but without seeing them within the context of a sales page, it’s hard to know where they sit and how effective they will be.

Work with the Quick & Clean template, and see where you can fit those in.

The Full Question: On the Landing Pages PDF you recommend the call to action be to fill out an application if the offer is not something that can be purchased in a shopping cart. Could you tell me some of the technical part of that? How do I create an application that someone can fill out and I can receive? Would that be a google doc? I can see how this could be useful for me as a health goals questionnaire, but for right now my offer is not that complex. A person can either buy a single session, a bundle of three sessions at a discount or a bundle of twelve sessions at a bigger discount. What kind of call to action would be appropriate for that offer? Should I ask them to call me? Should I direct them to online booking? Should I have them fill out the questionnaire and then direct them to online booking? I’m looking for some kind of flow that I can start with for where I’m at right now…and don’t mind some suggestions for where I should be headed. Thanks!
Answer:The purpose of an application is to qualify customers (to ensure they are a fit) and also to give you a little more information about them so you can better serve them.If you have the technical capacity, you can create an application form on your website, like we do on this page: https://www.heartofbusiness.com/training-programs/obdp-yollana/ . Typically, this form is automatically emailed to you when it is filled out, as part of how the form functions.If the pre-session questionnaire is important to you for information, but not a pre-requisite to purchase, you can allow folks to go ahead and book and pay… If they are unsure, you can recommend that they just book one session to start… Then once you see their booking come in, you can send them a “Welcome email”, where you give them details about their session, and include a handful of questions which you can ask them to email back to you before the session.It sounds like you could probably just have your single session, 3 session and 12 session packages listed with their price and the option to book now, which then takes them to payment (e.g. paypal button) and scheduling (e.g. ScheduleOnce or TimeTrade or email you regarding times). Or, if they have any questions or require any more information, you can give them the option to email or call you before booking.You can also offer a free 15-30 minute phone consult as a first step, if you think it would make it easy for people to try you our and help you to convert more customers over time…

The Full Question:  If there is an application then that is like a written sacred selling conversation.  But if I direct them to book now, they are either a new client or they’re a current client buying a new product.  In the case of their being a new client then I don’t have a chance to talk with them and assess fit and see if their goals are something I can help them with.  I guess the thinking is if they,ve just looked at my website then they’ve seen enough of me and who I help that it gave them a sense of it being a good fit even if I wasn’t actively part of the conversation yet.  Knowing that, it seems like the next step would be to give them the option,  “Ready to start working together?  Head on over to the online booking and get your first session on your sechdule.  Or do you still have some questions? Give me a call…”  Question about that;  is it better to “schedule a 15 – 20 minute phone consultation” and would it make sense to have that also scheduled through online booking? Or should I just direct them to give me call?  If they call me randomly they may not catch me at a good time, but if we schedule it then I have something I need to be there for and no assurance that the client will follow through.Also, when you do online booking when to receive payment?  Currently payment is at time of service for single sessions and at time of first session for bundled sessions.  I’m concerned that if I don’t receive some payment when people book online then I will have a higher incidence of no-shows, because online booking is impersonal and there would be no commitment from the client.  So would it be advisable to have them pay the whole session, or half the session which is the no-show charge (which I’ve never charged anyone) or the late cancellation charge (which I’ve also never charged anyone).  But that seems inconvenient for the client, because then they have to pay me twice, and inconvenient for me because then I have to track how much they still owe.

Lots of nitty gritty questions.  I know I can arrange it however I want, but I hope that you can make some suggestions that answer some of my concerns.

I’m going to copy my question from last week for context and then add my further questions to it. I hope that’s not to unwieldy.

The Full Question: On the Landing Pages PDF you recommend the call to action be to fill out an application if the offer is not something that can be purchased in a shopping cart. Could you tell me some of the technical part of that? How do I create an application that someone can fill out and I can receive? Would that be a google doc? I can see how this could be useful for me as a health goals questionnaire, but for right now my offer is not that complex. A person can either buy a single session, a bundle of three sessions at a discount or a bundle of twelve sessions at a bigger discount. What kind of call to action would be appropriate for that offer? Should I ask them to call me? Should I direct them to online booking? Should I have them fill out the questionnaire and then direct them to online booking? I’m looking for some kind of flow that I can start with for where I’m at right now…and don’t mind some suggestions for where I should be headed. Thanks!

Answer:
The purpose of an application is to qualify customers (to ensure they are a fit) and also to give you a little more information about them so you can better serve them.
If you have the technical capacity, you can create an application form on your website, like we do on this page: https://www.heartofbusiness.com/training-programs/obdp-yollana/ . Typically, this form is automatically emailed to you when it is filled out, as part of how the form functions.
If the pre-session questionnaire is important to you for information, but not a pre-requisite to purchase, you can allow folks to go ahead and book and pay… If they are unsure, you can recommend that they just book one session to start… Then once you see their booking come in, you can send them a “Welcome email”, where you give them details about their session, and include a handful of questions which you can ask them to email back to you before the session.
It sounds like you could probably just have your single session, 3 session and 12 session packages listed with their price and the option to book now, which then takes them to payment (e.g. paypal button) and scheduling (e.g. ScheduleOnce or TimeTrade or email you regarding times). Or, if they have any questions or require any more information, you can give them the option to email or call you before booking.
You can also offer a free 15-30 minute phone consult as a first step, if you think it would make it easy for people to try you our and help you to convert more customers over time…

Answer: The purpose of an application is to qualify customers (to ensure they are a fit) and also to give you a little more information about them so you can better serve them.
If you have the technical capacity, you can create an application form on your website, like we do on this page: https://www.heartofbusiness.com/training-programs/obdp-yollana/ . Typically, this form is automatically emailed to you when it is filled out, as part of how the form functions.
If the pre-session questionnaire is important to you for information, but not a pre-requisite to purchase, you can allow folks to go ahead and book and pay… If they are unsure, you can recommend that they just book one session to start… Then once you see their booking come in, you can send them a “Welcome email”, where you give them details about their session, and include a handful of questions which you can ask them to email back to you before the session.
It sounds like you could probably just have your single session, 3 session and 12 session packages listed with their price and the option to book now, which then takes them to payment (e.g. paypal button) and scheduling (e.g. ScheduleOnce or TimeTrade or email you regarding times). Or, if they have any questions or require any more information, you can give them the option to email or call you before booking.
You can also offer a free 15-30 minute phone consult as a first step, if you think it would make it easy for people to try you our and help you to convert more customers over time…