Class 1: Networking

The Full Question: I serve people who were addicted to alcohol etc, and have already been to a clinic/rehab and are sober, but now want to grow further to their full potential. No one is googling for that niche. So how can I reach out to them? What kind of strategy and SEO would work best?
Answer: This is one of those difficult situations, where you’re trying to reach a group that doesn’t hang out, or associate by the characteristics you’re wanting to identify. The truth is, you can’t market to someone who doesn’t want or doesn’t know they need what you are offering. Is this something that people feel stuck with? How do these folks talk about it?The first thing I would do is find out if there are other people who are serving this niche successfully. Are they finding clients? Where are they, as business owners, showing up?I would lean into the strategies I’m teaching in this course, by combining networking with content and events, making yourself as visible as possible in front of different audiences. Something like this will take experimentation, and it may not be an easy road, unless you can find examples of people already being successful.

The Full Question: My work in the world atm, is crowdfunding for startup costs and building a nonprofit foundation that will steward land and raise funds to create villages- starting with struggling mothers and their children-so I connect well with those who are struggling but I don’t quite know how to connect with those who would have money to offer the cause or those who don’t quite fully understand the cause because they haven’t been through it.It seems to me that some people would prefer to be talked to in a professional way like I’ve had people ask me for a specific list as to where the funds are going, but I can only say start up cost like for any other business because I haven’t developed those steps yet and I can’t develop them until I have the money to do so -how do I Gain or address a broad audience for a crowdfunding campaign when a large supportive network , although building slowly, has yet to be developed?
Answer: I’m guessing that you’re really talking about starting a nonprofit organization, it sounds like, since you wouldn’t be generating profit to attract investors. Is that true?It sounds like a great vision, and I’m not sure where you are in your process. If you are in the very beginning, that you don’t have a clear plan yet, or a budget, or a team to handle all the different really huge projects, I’m wondering if you are wanting to articulate the vision really clearly, and lean more into a combination of content and networking to attract others to the vision.

The question you’re asking is not simple. I don’t know enough about where you are in the project- are you in the beginning visioning stage, or do you have detailed plans, land identified and other people involved where it’s becoming more concrete? The more concrete, the easier it is to connect with people over it.

You’re really talking about fundraising, and potentially fundraising from both a large base of small donors, and large, individual donors. It’s hard for me to give you concrete advice without knowing a lot more about where you are in the project, and what you’re actually needing. I wish I could be more helpful.

The Full Question: And if so… I don’t think I yet have a sense of how to make it productive rather than frustrating. And it might just be practice / exposure… but… how do I prevent those people from just telling me their life story when I’m off the clock and would just to just talk about their stand-up paddle boarding hobbie instead 🙂
Answer: You don’t have to go to networking meetings. Some people really like them and find sincere people, in the right groups, and others don’t. You might need to practice, as you mentioned. There is a balance between personal connection with someone else as a human being, which has to be present throughout, and remembering to bring in the focus of your business.When you talk about “preventing people from telling their life story” I’m thinking you may not have set the expectations clearly at the beginning. If people know that there is a set amount of time, and that your intention is to expand your network/weave a tapestry of helpful relationships, then you can have a reasonable “get to know each other” conversations while also talking about what you do, and whaty they do, as part of the “get to know each other.”

The Full Question: If you’re already good at creating strands of connection, how do you manage your time and attention to keep them going? How much is too much?If you were brought up in the 1980s style glad-handing, high-pressure networking, how do you tone it down when it clicks back on?
Answer: For most people, a simple contact address book can be enough. Some people use CRM, customer relationship manager, but those can be overkill for a tiny business. If you put enough notes to remember pertinent details of your conversation, and create tags to be able to easily search, that helps.In terms of ongoing contact, these kinds of contacts don’t need a lot. You can maybe divide your list into four, and contact 25% every quarter, so each person is hearing from you once per year. You can also decide which ones are worth keeping up with. Not in terms of human beings, they are all worthwhile, but in terms of your business, some will have better networks and connections for your business.

I myself send a handwritten card for Valentine’s Day once a year to everyone on my list. It ends up being a little over a hundred, and takes a few weeks, but it seems to land well with people, and when I reach out, often people mention having received it.

In terms of the glad-handing, high pressure networking, just don’t do it. 🙂 I would need you to describe a situation you’re in, and how you react, to have a better sense of how to undo it. But, you can’t go wrong by sinking in Remembrance or other heart-connection, take a breath, and then reconnect with them. You’ll be learning the sequence of connection over the next few classes, and that will help.

The Full Question: I like writing this as it feels real, grounded and I know many of the people on my mailing list. For a few months I tried FB and it really was not a pleasant experience. For a year or so I used Instagram. I’m very visual and liked posting photos, though I was aware I didn’t know ‘how’ to write something that went along with the photo that meant something to me and could connect with the people that were ‘following’ me. Energetically the experience didn’t feel nourishing and I haven’t used it for a year or so.I’m curious as to how Instagram might be able to work for me/me to work successfully with it, and the very idea of posting or having to look at it a few times a week makes me recoil… any tips here?I’ve joined Linkedin today! Not so that I can ‘follow’ people or ‘post’ on it, more so that I have my contact details on here if anyone is looking for what I am offering. I realise this is not really in the spirit of Linked in and I find looking at social media fairly depressing. Clearly there is work for me to do here around social media (or is there?) and mainly I find the experience draining or frustrating, so I keep away from it…..

I’m sat with the question is online networking and social media the same thing?
Answer: There are people who successfully avoid using social media. It does take more effort to find people, but you can. People have websites, and blogs, and newsletters. You can read someone’s newsletter or blog, you can find them on other platforms like Medium, and reach out to them similarly to how I’ve described.

It can be worth it to look more deeply at your reactivity around social media. Not to say that you *must* do social media, but any time we have a strong reaction to something, it’s good to look more closely at what we’re reacting to. Sometimes it’s absolutely justified, and sometimes we’re reacting to something that may not be completely true, and is blocking us from opportunities.

To be sure, it’s not the healthiest environment. What should be an open third space of connection is instead a manipulated environment with algorithms run by money rather than relationships. But, it can be used in healthy ways. Every profile on social media is a heart, and I’ve made some very profound friendships and connections there. And, there may be a platform that suits your nervous system better than another.

It is relationship-oriented, and so you do need to show up. You might be successful doing it just a couple times a week, but if you don’t want to show up, and just want to post content and leave, then, no, it won’t work well.

LinkedIn I’ve found to be way less addictive/sticky, and there are good people on there as well.

The Full Question: I feel a number of challenges around becoming more visible online and initiating relationships there. Part of that is identity-based – trans people with significant online visibility tend to receive a lot of hate. It’s also about the pressure towards purity and perfection that online discourse can create, which can amplify my social anxiety and fear of “getting it wrong.” I find those fears causing hesitation in connecting online with people whose work I respect. And finally, I’ve got some screen addiction issues, and posting/commenting online can lead me to compulsively check my phone for likes and replies – not where I want my energy to go.
Answer: I have so much empathy- I’ve seen this play out for so many people. It’s not the easiest thing to have to hold boundaries. I think being super clear about your own needs and limits, not hesitating to block/unfriend people, and doing more observing before commenting and connecting.I think this is where heart-centered networking really can shine, because you can be thoughtful about how you build your network, you can ask people to take care in introducing you to people or sharing your content, and you can cultivate friends who will have your back when bad actors show up in your feed.Having those kinds of supportive relationships can, I hope, also help you maybe to feel a bit safer about the purity/perfection you mentioned?

The Full Question: If you met in a social situation or not an explicit networking situation, how do you name it as a business context? Is this something we would agree on before the meeting? Or would you keep it flexible/unknown before scheduling?What do you recommend to people in this day of online everything, who do not want their primary networking to be online?
Answer: I think just being clear from the outset about your intentions. Especially for someone who has their own business, it’s a natural part of who you are and what you’re passionate about. I find that in social situations the conversation eventually finds it’s way around to “what do you do for work?“ which is a natural opening. And If it doesn’t, you can also name it yourself as something you care about.It’s in these instances that you can talk about your work, rather than yourself. So, for instance, say a chiropractor works with folks who have been really active, but have had a back injury and want to get back to what they love. In this case, talking about the passion one has for connection to nature, and how miserable it is for someone to be held back by a back injury, and how important one thinks it is that people spend time connected to nature.

The Full Question: 2. If authenticity isn’t working and you feel unsafe… or people don’t get you or you don’t like them… what do you do? 3. I’m not yet getting exact answers for my business… I’m guessing this is normal?
Answer: I get that these are big questions for you, I have so much empathy! I have to admit from my side, I wish I knew more of the details, because it’s hard to answer you usefully without context.When you say “networking options for health and wellness that makes sense?” the answer is, of course, it depends. It depends on what you mean by “makes sense.” It depends what business you’re in. You’re looking for folks that you can connect with, who might perhaps know people who would be potentially good clients for yourself.About authenticity, I have so many questions. It’s absolutely normal to feel unsafe at times, especially with how many of us have had horrible experiences in the past. If you don’t like someone, then absolutely don’t network with them. You are creating a network of relationships, and you are allowed to only pick folks that you think you might have some connection with.

In terms of “exact answer for my business”… I’m guessing you mean in your heart? I’d love to understand what questions you’re asking, and what answers/senses/impressions you are getting. It is normal, absolutely, for responses to feel not clear. This can happen for any number of reasons. One, you might be asking a question that is predefining the answer, and the guidance your heart wants to give you is entirely something else. You might not feel comfortable listening, and so you’re only hearing part of what’s coming through. You might be trying to move too quickly, and so the message is “blurred.” You might be trying to move into action too quickly, and the guidance might be telling you something else.

So, yes, clear guidance takes time, and spaciousness and care. Please continue to ask questions, and if you can provide more story/context, it will be really helpful in giving a useful answer.